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thanks so much I really needed this no nonsense approach today

Julia

I am so happy to have found your site. I left my abuser and am trying to live a "normal" life. It's been two years since I left and I'm still having trouble adjusting.

Megan

this infomation helps me to understand to ask for help when i need it

emma louise trodd

I found some really interesting information.

John

there are many times where the support here helped me when no other place was able to. having people that truly understand, from the inside, my struggles, helps me to know i'm not alone. that is invaluable.

Terry

It is a place where every voice matters and is heard… A place where I can share and discuss issues with other survivors. A place with excellent resources. Most of all a place where I can come and safely say it how it is.

Jane

Fort is somewhere I can come for hours at a time or just a few minutes to pass my time in between chores. Fort is somewhere I can escape to when things are really tough and I cannot face people face to face and would never be able to talk the way I do here.

Nancy

There have been times, (even tho we have not posted this) the fort has helped us NOT leave this world. There are so many good people and info and just the fact 'we' are accepted, and NOT judged has helped us!

Kaven

ths pwobablee tha bes serviivrs siit mi haev fowns

Kami

This site helped me to understand myself better

jackie

The other day was the first in 7 years that I SI and I was feeling very ashamed about it. I posted a thread wanting to talk about how I was feeling and some of you welcomed me with no bias to I was and why I am an SI. Thank you for your support and open arms.

MickeyGirl98

I'm understood. I'm not a freak of nature. I'm not a lunchroom chat topic. I'm a human with feelings and the people here don't push me, they just listen. For the first time. I have friends. They may be on a computer, but they're still my friends.

Busymom

(July 19th 2014) Tasha said:

A year ago today, I was in crisis. I thought that I was going to have to go inpatient, as the only way to help me through the tremendous struggles I was having with my ED and how it was affecting my health. I was actually looking for some kind of hotline or a facility when I found a list of resources on an ED website. All it had was the admin email for Fort, but I figured if there was an admin for this place, then there was a site too. I took a chance and typed fortrefuge.com into my browser, and read some of the pages. The more I read, the more I realized that I might have found what I was looking for. I didn't join right away, thought about it for a few days, and then, since I just wasn't finding any other resource that I thought might help me, I joined.

I was thinking I needed to go inpatient because I couldn't seem to find the amount of support that I knew I needed--even though I have a great T and had been seeing her for over a year--and thought that inpatient might be the only way to help myself. I've discovered over this past year, though, that peer support can be extremely helpful, in addition to professional help. Finding Fort, I found a place where I didn't have to hide. I don't have to hide my DID, I don't have to hide my abuse history, I don't have to hide the ugly aftermath of my abuse, I don't have to hide my various diagnoses, I don't have to hide who I am. Surprisingly, I found that ppl accepted me and liked me. For the first few months, I was kinda surprised at that, just because it was so far out of the realm of my experience up til then.

I think that I've learned a lot over the past year, being on Fort. I think that it's helping me heal from abuse and its aftermath in a lot of ways--even ways I wasn't even aware that I needed to heal. I feel like I've got this huge mountain still to climb, but it's nice to have support of my peers while I try to climb it. It's been really helpful to have discussions with ppl, ppl who understand how hard abuse aftermath is. It's been really fun to talk with ppl about what has and hasn't worked for them, to share ideas with each other. The support I've found here has been really invaluable to me. My T keeps saying how valuable support groups are in the healing process, and I really agree with her. I think I'd be in quite a different place emotionally had I not run across Fort.

Sometimes I wonder if I've made progress as far as healing, because what I'm working on now is some of the hardest trauma work I've ever done, but it's also the first real trauma work I've been able to do. Sometimes I wish that I'd been able to keep seeing the T I had just after I got out of the abuse. She was amazing, but she was working on helping me learn coping skills just so I could function and get through college and all the other things I had on my plate at the time. Sadly, I still miss her. I kinda wish I could somehow let her know how I'm doing now. From then until now I know there's been progress. I wonder if that's how I need to think of it--seeing how far I've come since I got out of the abuse, instead of trying to see progress at closer intervals.

The progress I've had in the past year just seems miniscule compared to what I feel I need to/should have accomplished. I guess maybe you can't rush it, though. I definitely know the pitfalls of overprocessing. Thinking about it, I think I actually am making progress though, progress I can see. A year ago, I wasn't experiencing my feelings like I am now, and even if that's the only thing I've managed to progress in, then that's enough. Expressing myself is important, and I have a feeling it's gonna be important as I go through more trauma work in T.

Guess I'm just trying to say that I'm really glad that a year ago I was at such a place that I looked for support, and stumbled in a round about way into Fort.