Poems about nsfw

Urge is such a small word

I'm afraid to show anything. Anything at all.
Afraid I'll be labelled melodramatic, or attention seeking
don't want to send out any false alarms.
Afraid that if I reach out it'll be too much pressure, that I will be too much.
 
And because I've always gotten through it alone before what's so different about this time anyway?
As far as a suicide risk, I'm not really. Well, not likely.
Because if nothing else, I am responsible.
 
The suicide of a parent vs. being raised by a parent with depression
is way more harmful.
Whatever can be done to mitigate her poor luck at having me as a parent.
Cost benefit analysis says no suicide?
 
wow
Anything other than that?
Would love to grab one of those fresh blades and start in on that arm.
That's not really feasible, still short sleeve weather.
 
But the thighs....
like a fresh canvas....
well mostly like a fresh canvas.
More like a paint by number maybe? The path already partially laid out?
 
And I want it so bad I can't breathe.
It's all I can think,
and my mouth goes dry
Wholly and absolutely consumed
 
by the thought of which multiple of ten is going to be my goal,
what pattern am I going to end up having carved into my skin?
Will I get caught?
What if something happens and I'm needed suddenly?
 
How will I clean up fast enough?
How will I explain it?
Not to mention
I know I want to stop having new scars,
 
I know I want to be able to wear a bathing suit and not worry if someone can see the patterns in the scars.
The straight lines and the occasional vestiges of a word that makes it so obvious where those scars came from.
And for some reason, by wearing on my skin my own self hatred and disdain,
I signal to others that it's ok to treat me the same way.
 
What the hell do they care if they hurt my feelings if I'm going to go hurt myself anyway?
And my mouth is still dry.
And I still can't breathe.
And I still want it anyway.
...

by weepingwillow
Time moves on like the falling sand

Time moves on like the falling sand
And I fall helplessly at their demands
Embracing the curse of gentle sins
I pray they see the suffering within
A smile to give, and a lie to take
All of the words blur into fakes
Shouting and screaming down the halls
Love is silent to bitterness when it calls
And on deaf ears we cannot hear to cope
As on the silence we all choke
A family oh a family
Look at what we are
Please look at our family
And cut open the scar
Tear us to pieces if only for a new start
It is oh so tragic to have a hardened heart
Especially when you want only to love
Only to have it broken by those above
So a family oh a family
We are good as we are
Please see our good family
Through our own prison bars
...

by Alice Wander
I sit and wonder

I sit and I wonder,
Do you know what it's like?
To stay up afraid,
Scared to sleep at night.
 
It's easy to pretend,
To say I'm okay...
To hide my tears,
They shed every day.
 
To give everyone advice,
Myself I can not follow.
Instead I sit and I cry,
I weep and I wallow.
 
Just seeing your name,
I'm right back there.
This pain I feel,
The ultimate despair.
 
The feeling of choking,
You're not even there.
But you squeeze every last breath,
Cut off my air.
 
You're always beside me,
But not as a friend.
As a demon, a monster,
There 'til the end.
 
I'll never get away,
Escape your hold on me.
I beg, I pray...
please, please set me free
...

by Tryingtosurvive
Arms And Fists Are Flying

Arms and fists are flying
Blood splattered on the walls
There's always someone crying
For no reason at all.
I ain't going back there   no I ain't going back there   at all.
 
I'm walking alone in the night
Nobody else in sight
The street lights are leading   my way to a new life.
 
I ain't going back there
My suitcase in my hand
My hat up on my head
If I go back there   I'd be as well dead
I ain't going back there.
 
Arms and fists are flying
Blood splattered on the walls
There's always someone crying
For no reason at all
I ain't going back there   no I ain't going back there   at all.
...

by u live u learn
Learning

I twist under your arms feeling your pressure hold me down.
 
You might think
that it would remind me
of bad times
 
of someone else
who held me down
who told me everything was going to be okay.
 
But he was silencing me
finding ways to make sure
his little secret
didn't get out of his control.
 
When you drag your nails
across my back
I shudder, and a gasp escapes my lips
 
I open my eyes enough to see you smile.
Your smile is so different than his
the gentleness of it
astonishes and protects me.
 
You notice me looking
And lean in to whisper in my ear
Mine.
I feel myself smile, as my mouth forms the word
Yours.
 
There was another man
who said that to me, once.
But he didn't care
whether or not I accepted it
Because his word was law.
 
You ask me
if I want to be tied to something
if I wouldn't be a little more comfortable
with my wrists bound behind my back
 
I nod
I would be more comfortable
knowing I couldn't hurt you
even if I tried.
 
You notice
that I don't speak
Even my screams
are silent.
 
Later,
when you are holding me
and I am unbound
as you spin your hand through my hair
you ask why.
 
In another time
and another world
a man holds a knife to my neck
and tells me to be quiet.
 
I learn fast.
...

by Shining Eyes
Power

Power
is a complicated thing
 
Once upon a time
I had all the power in the world
and couldn't do anything with it
 
Now, I am powerless
As I lay here
with my body ravaged.
 
But in the ravaging,
I again had power
infinite power
 
To say no
to stop
to let my thoughts disappear.
 
I handed you my power
and let you do what you would with it
Knowing the whole time
that it was my power
not yours.
 
I handed you everything
and
despite the break-up songs
You treated me with love
 
When I clutched on you
hard
you asked if I was okay
 
My silent calls
fall on your ears
and you listen.
 
So next time
I will give you power again
and I will trust you
to use it well
 
Touch
When you touch me
Lime green shoots through me
and I stir and cry out
in love and joy
 
Your lips
are the deep blue of the ocean floor
they rock me gently
back and forth
until I let myself drift away on the waves
 
His lips
are an ugly blood-red
they hurt my eyes
and leave their traces
everywhere they touch
 
Your hand in my hair
emanates green
a soft and gentle green
no matter how hard you pull
 
He touches my arm
and yellow ricochets through my heart
sickening and pale
too bright
and unfocused
 
You hold me down gently
and the cuffs ring purple in my ears
speaking to me
of safety
 
His rough hold is
sharp gray
done with force
and steel
 
You wound me
but the wounds pour out warm white
and I bathe
in the sunlight of my pain
When he does hurt me -
which is not often -
it is sickly brown
oozing and rotting
 
You
touching me
holding me
loving me
 
You fill me
with the colors of the forest
and the ocean
the sunrise
 
Him
touching me
holding me
wanting me
 
He fills me
with the colors of my insides
and infected wounds
the nightmares
 
Some of your shades are the same,
it's true
but how can you compare
the red of blood
with the red in the sunset?
...

by Shining Eyes
Whispers from the trees

Softly teasing, you mock my still and frozen corpse,
The leaves have fallen, the ghosts all lay bare.
Ice tears, dead now, rolling off my empty face,
Dead but moving, they poison my hair.
 
My screams hang silent, lost without a role to play,
My naked body, exposed to all the world.
Once a candle, beauty of the warmest kind,
Now just empty, an ugly melted girl.
 
Your eyes just mock me, you love me frozen at your feet,
Out your knife comes, ready to destroy.
Slow, you cut me, I feel no pain for I am dead,
A broken body, a perfect sacred toy.
 
Blood, it weeps now, deeply red and staining me,
Crying softly, across my snowy skin.
Creeping slowly, a web of blood across my chest,
A bitter beauty, the threads of all my sin.
 
The startling elegance, blood on snow and snow on coal,
You cut me open, and kiss my blood-stained lips.
Deep, you search me, the snow growing redder still,
Deep, you hold me; my soul burnt by your tips.
 
You will not find it; my heart is broke beyond repair,
You may find pieces, alone and gnarled by grief.
But still you search me, my silent body dead to you,
No more snow now; innocence was brief.
 
“Daddy, stop it,” the whispers breathe through the trees,
“Mummy, help me,” the pleads are tears of dew.
“Grandma, I’m sorry,” the water trickles with my shame,
“Grandad, I love you,” the ammo you will chew.
 
Done, you leave me, an empty bloodied frozen corpse,
Dead, I’m alone now, my heart a ruptured core.
If I may live again, I know I will not be the same,
The girl you tortured; a girl to you no more.
...

by isurviv0r
Drowning

feeling death kiss me...
take my breath far away.
the cold blades through me.
 
my blood. my soul. my tears.
 
drowning in death.
bound in chains.
darkness comes closer.
 
and no more light i see.
 
I am your shame.
I am locked away.
never to be free.
...

by songbird
Acrostic

Helpless children cry out in silent fear
Excess confusion numbing their bones; “shhhhh. don’t tell mommy”
 
Random acts of senseless violation no longer belong on TV
A’s on papers cause misleading guesses about life at home
Please, grandpa, don’t do it again
Every tear a lost battle. we’re I’m you’re not supposed to cry
Deserved pain throbbing from the source of misery
 
Messy cleanup behind locked doors
Eggy white leaking from a strange hole
 
When morning comes, say nothing
Have to smile. act normal
A loud noise makes… you… jump
Tell grandpa we say hello
 
Don’t cry
It’s all over now
Don’t cry
 
I lied
 
Don’t cry
Or he’ll kill the sister
 
To him, you are nothing
Objects have no emotions
 
Daddy dearest, I love you
Except, please stop inviting him over
Stop letting him come to my room
End the pain, please daddy
Rape is a dirty word
Very dirty
End my pain
 
Ten years since it started
Her cries were silenced long ago
I suffer in her place
So, tell me, what did I do wrong?
...

by ~Lilith~
Burn

Nothing I’ve burned for is more tormenting.
For my sins,
There is no repenting.
The scars will not heal,
The haze in my lungs will not leave.
I told myself it wasn't real,
But I just can't believe.
The fire in my veins
That burns in hate for them
Has the heat of a thousand suns,
And now I drown in the inferno
That is the memories of what they have done.
...

by EndlessAutumn
If i told you

I want to share with you,
and I love being so close to you.
(guilty!)
 
To live this touch with you,
I make the move toward you.
(used!)
 
Refreshed and smiling we are
coaxing one another to this.
(dirty!)
 
Unforced, unchallenged, relaxed,
comfort found for a short while.
(sick!)
 
A quick tear, a stoic smile.
Regard for me makes you pause.
(sweet!)
 
Pausing strengthens my stubbornness
to finish what I started.
(confused!)
 
Generous, giving, and free, I am
self-serving in my twisted way.
(caring!)
 
The rush is over and my tears
drip down to your face.
(concerned!)
 
I beg you don't worry, keep going.
I beg you, don't stop, I'm fine.
 
I chant how much I love you.
I hate what I love for a minute.
 
This is some personal penance.
I should explain it all to you.
 
If I told you, you wouldn't play along.
If I told you, worse, you just might.
...

by weepingwillow