Poems about griefsadness

Not for me

I am being swallowed whole by this.
Feel my world shrinking by the minute.
I look out through the bars behind my eyes,
wondering if anyone can see the cage I'm stuck in?
Fear and uncertainty are wearing me down again.
Rage and despair control me again and I've got
Nowhere to go.
Who cares?
There is no relief for this constant ache.
Overwhelmed by miniscule decisions.
I lean on you crushed to pieces.
All of these years of introspection later--
there isn't any hope and there aren't any dreams.
Still I slog on gritting my teeth every day.
I promised-
and I will.
There is no purpose to my life.
There is no divinity or sacredness.
No difference one day to the next.
My soul tied up in barbed wire I pretend I don't .
So I can present the impossible me to the world.
Whole and complete and at peace with myself.
It's not possible.
It's not for me.
...

by weepingwillow
Stealing time

Stealing time
that was never mine.
A little more
each day goes by.
Draw it in
and hold it tight.
Mask the fear
that it's not mine.
Hold them close
don't let them by.
Draw my ties
and pull them tight.
Fourteen years
such a long time.
Fourteen years
that were not mine.
Fourteen years
of stolen time.
...

by weepingwillow
Glances, questions...

Glances,
Questions.
Awkward silence.
Time passes   as distance deepens.
 
Words spoken,
Sharp as daggers,
Cleave the air.
Secrets betrayed   and trust shattered.
 
Run or stay?
Brick by brick,
Walls grow and envelope
Then they blot out the sky.
 
Winding pathways   leading you astray,
Bones unseen beneath.
Trampled and   awaiting discovery.
Voices echo as ghosts   peer around corners.
 
Miles of confusion
Chaos eclipsing common sense.
Every stone a loss of self.
Beloved friends and family   lost in battle.
Until only memories remain.
The lost souls   haunting the present.
 
Shadows grow stronger,
As reality fades.
Flights of fancy
Free the enslaved.
Until only the body remains.
 
Shame, regret, anger
Then finally pain
Complete the descent.
A door opens...
A light glimmers.
The flame is extinguished.
 
The door closes   as the key turns,
Silence echoes   as space shrinks.
One by one they say goodbye,
Silent screams   as reality strikes.
 
Darkness unfolding,
Promises of relief.
Caught in the middle,
Torn between light and dark.
Seeking anonymity.
 
A hand beckons,
Fear paralyzing
Voices echoing a warning   too late.
A few steps then falling.
The ground gone,
Fog above and black below.
 
Frantically searching   for a foothold,
Only finding walls of glass.
Faces peering in.
Air pulling in all directions.
Winds cycling until   a tornado of chaos.
 
Dazed and disoriented,
Fact and fiction   indistinguishable.
Lines curving   until patterns are obscured.
Time spinning   faster and faster
Then lost as it is   suspended...
 
A hand appears in the fog.
Defying fear and gravity...
You grasp it tightly.
Not knowing where you go   or who is leading.
Blindly following.
 
Heart racing,   breaths coming short
Knowing this   your final chance.
A gamble of good vs. evil.
Life and death.
I close my eyes and leap.
...

by kailima
Ambivalent post-break up feelings

Thoughts of you ram me from my senses.
Why can't you go?
I grasp at everyone, every moment.
I'm still wishing for a few more.
...i miss you...
I gave you the liberty to go.
I didn't just stand back, I helped you leave.
I made it easy for you to walk your destiny.
I cut my heart out for you, so you wouldn't have to.
Why can't anyone make it easy for me?!
I desperately cling to your faint existance.
I hope it leaves my life.
A new twist on an old theory--
If I can't have you, leave me the fuck alone!
Alone...I am alone, you're not really here.
...i need you...
You wouldn't extend my freedom, yet I gave yours.
And off you went, with part my very essence.
I let it go easily with wishes and love.
With a mind screaming, a soul twisting.
Why do they leave me in this place?!
...don't go...
...

by weepingwillow
Embrace

You are holding me and I am still alone.
It's like a magic trick in my head.
Pretty words in safe blue
etch in red in my mind.
I would swear it was possible for my soul to .
The hinges lubricated and things get in and out.
I would swear it was possible to be psychotic--
and rationally know it.
I cannot make sense of my own thoughts.
I do try to behave rationally.
I am so frustrated to find I am failing.
Though still drowning I've floated near enough,
that I can see the surface and
how far down I've been again.
Never broke through though I thought I had.
Tired of struggling so hard just to find
that I'm swimming for the bottom again.
I want to give up and don't know how to do that either.
I will do as I always have-trudge on and survive, exist.
Screaming silently all the way.
Can't you hear me love?
You're so close.
...

by weepingwillow
You think you're weak. I think you're strong

You think you're weak. I think you're strong
You wonder how you stuck around this long
Every day seems worse than the day before
Not sure you will be able to take this anymore
you have been together forever; but that's not a reason to stay
It's not your fault he treats you this way
You have a choice to get up and leave
to take a stand for what you believe
To replace those bad memories, with something new
To be with someone who truly loves you
I know it's hard and that you are afraid
Don't focus on the past and the mistakes that you have made
Use your strength and open your eyes
and you will see some light through those stormy skies
For every insult and every bruise, you ever took
For every demeaning and disrespectful look
For every friend he made you lose
and every time he made you choose
For every sleepless night
for every single horrible fight
For every smile he turned into a frown
For every time you cringed when he was around
For all these things, use this as your strength to leave
You are so much better than this, you just have to believe
Know you are beautiful, that you are strong
Know that this is not where you belong
Know that you can have such a beautiful life, and be loved deeply and true
You just have to find the strength I know you have deep inside of you.
And if you feel you can't do this on your own and you need a little help
Know that I was standing right beside you this whole time, and you don't have to do this by yourself.
...

by Guest
Ring around the rosy

Ring around the rosy
A pocket full of secrets
Pains and dreamy times kept safe
All for the time to come
Fear is all around the rosy
Pockets full of fear, fear, fear
All at peace until the time comes
When all will come in pieces
Watching, listening, dreading too
How will it happen?
How will it do?
What will become of me?
What will it do?
Who am I?
Who is who?
Are you, you?
They are...they them, too?
But where will they go?
I want them, still,
For they are for me so
Me so, me so...
So who I am is they also, too
But when the time is here...
Who will take care of us...of us?
...

by Baaa
Yay i'm one of his ex’s/tyrants/hard-hearted @#@%

I fell in love
 
I fell in love
He could have been a slug
 
He could have been a slug
Wouldn't have mattered. I was besotted
 
Wouldn't have mattered. I was besotted
Saw what I wanted...what he wanted me too
 
Saw what I wanted...what he wanted me too
I sure was in love – witlessly, ravingly so
 
I sure was in love – witlessly, ravingly so
3 previous failed marriages – no contact with his kids?
 
3 previous failed marriages – no contact with his kids?
His ex's were "tyrants…hard-hearted @#@%$'s"
 
His ex's were "tyrants…hard-hearted @#@%$'s"
Poor, guy, poor guy, poor guy
 
Poor, guy, poor guy, poor guy
"Sorry hon didn't mean to hit you". Box of chocs and a dozen red roses
 
"Sorry hon didn't mean to hit you". Box of chocs and a dozen red roses
"I can't live without you"
 
"I can't live without you"
"You made me do it…you loud-mouthed hussy"
 
I fell out of love
 
I fell out of love
He was a slug
 
He was a slug
It mattered – I saw what he was
 
It mattered – I saw what he was
Saw the facts – saw what was real
 
Saw the facts – saw what was real
I was no longer in love – not even slightly
 
I was no longer in love – not even slightly
4 not 3 previous failed marriages – definitely no contact with my kid
 
4 not 3 previous failed marriages – definitely no contact with my kid
I'm one of his ex's/tyrant/hard-hearted @#@%$'s
 
I'm one of his ex's/tyrant/hard-hearted @#@%$'s
Pathetic guy, pathetic poor guy, pathetic guy
 
Pathetic guy, pathetic poor guy, pathetic guy
Sorry hon you can stuff your box of chocs and a dozen red roses where the...etc, etc
 
Sorry hon you can stuff your box of chocs and a dozen red roses where the.. etc, etc
I can live just fine without you
 
I can live just fine without you
No one but me made me do it
 
No one but me made me do it
 
Tootle pip.
From this proudly loud-mouthed hussy
...

by Jane
Turning a blind eye

In the beginning
Blindly in their thrall
Heart alive and spinning
It was phenomenal
 
In the beginning
Wanting it to work
Wits in glad up-swing
Senses hyped…berserk
 
In the beginning
Not wanting to see
Things…acts unsettling
Let it be… it be
 
In the beginning
My hopes riding high
My heart so trusting
Turning a blind eye.
...

by Jane
Dear Father

Do you recall the assault
Dear father?
Do you recall the assault?
The thumping and the hurling
 
And the sound of my heart churning
Breaking, bursting, furling
Your fault, your fault, your fault
Do you recall the assault?
 
Do you relive the rape
Dear father?
Do you relive the rape?
The ripping and the bleeding
 
The terror and my pleading
Pleading, pleading, pleading
No escape, no escape no escape
Do you relive the rape?
 
Do you regret your crimes
Dear father?
Do you regret your crimes?
Your sinful acts against another
 
And being a weak, cruel father
A perpetrator of lasting trauma.
Harmer harmer, harming
Do you regret your crimes?
...

by Jane
Haunted

You're watching me watch you,
or am I watching you watch me?
It makes no difference to me,
that isn't what's important really.
 
The Pain seems to get a little worse
with each and every passing day.
I wonder, do you feel this way?
"It will get much easier", they say.
 
All you had to say was simply "I love you".
Your blue eyes were the wicked tool
that you used to steal my Heart, my Body, and my Soul.
I wonder, do you realize you took complete Control?
 
The one thing I can't ever have,
is the thing I've always wanted.
But my Heart weeps, Foolishly undaunted,
because by Ghosts of a deeper Love, it's Haunted.
...

by weepingwillow
Forever

Forever means different things
to you and I.
I meant a future and happiness,
eternally forever.
You meant until you were bored,
temporarily forever.
 
I loved you, I still do.
Nothing can change that.
My friendship, if you want it,
is yours.
But will friendship mean the same,
to you and I?
 
Already I have entrusted you,
with my deepest secrets.
As you have with me.
I don't want to lose you forever,
because to me forever means,
eternally forever.
...

by weepingwillow