Poems about emotionalhealth

Two places

A place where confusion reigns supreme,
and beauty is only a dream,
and dreams are goals which cannot be reached,
and the light...
has gone dark,
and love...
can't be found,
and the art of friendship is slipping,
and everyone lives in misery and dark.
 
And the place where everything is understood,
and beauty is at every turn,
and dreams and goals are within grasp,
and dark...
will become light,
and love...
is all around,
and friendship is strengthened.
and all live in happiness.
 
Two places in my mind, my soul.
Two places in my heart.
One I want to live in,
the other I want to be rid of.
Where dark is light,
I have no fright,
but where light is dark,
I seem to dwell.
 
Two place, two extremes.
One insanity, misery.
The other happiness.
How to get from the dark,
to the light?
I try and I fail.
 
Save me from this place of misery.
"Help me", I call I scream.
"Someone? Anyone?"
I whisper to no one.
Not even I am listening
to such a pathetic soul.
 
One day. Some day.
I may see light close up,
not from far away....
Some day. One day.
Maybe.
...or not...
...

by weepingwillow
Out my window

I look out my window,
and see just one thing,
standing so lonely,
a single tree.
 
I wonder if its bored,
just standing there all day.
Nothing to do,
wishing it could wander.
 
Is it sad?
Wondering of all the years that have passed,
why it had to see this or that happen.
Why happiness doesn't seem to last.
 
Or maybe no feelings at all,
maybe it is numb to this world.
Standing so old, so bored,
and I wonder why it is dumb of speech.
 
The things its watched,
the things it must have seen.
Wonder how much this tree could teach us
if it could, and would, speak?
...

by weepingwillow
Chasing me

Chasing me, all my life.
Running from its grasp.
It will devour me when it catches up.
Hopefully quickly.
Probably slowly and painfully.
It works its way up behind you,
surprises you,
and one day you realize that it has you.
Held tightly in its grasp.
We always run,
knowing it will catch us.
And we always try to hide,
knowing it will find us.
None of us can escape.
its cold, horrid clutches.
Some don't mind,
it comes to them with the face of an angel.
Others see the demon for what it is.
Those are the runners, the hiders.
Some run for a long time, like me.
Others just give up and let go,
like I never will.
I'll run and fight and hide,
knowing eventually I'll lose.
I'll run anyway.
...

by weepingwillow
Red flags are pretty

I should have known
from that one time...
 
where you kicked me out
said I'm not welcome
 
then slammed the door
three times
 
but the deadbolt was out
and you cracked that poor door's spine
 
and i thought
"what about mine"?
 
but i left...
and i cried
 
and i wrote giant paragraphs of text
and you wrote giant paragraphs of text
 
and we decided
i should come back...
 
and later, when we talked about it
how the door doesn't close
the half busted lock-- it remembers and it knows...
 
but you forgot (or denied)
that it ever even happened
you refused to believe
that the crack was new
and came about of your
mad design
 
that you called me by name
when you kicked me out
and that should have been
a sign
 
i should have known...
 
when you woke me up
at 3am
and yelled and screamed
and made me sleep
in my bed
 
how your sister said your mom
did the same thing
to your nephew next door...
and his bond to her
grew stronger and she became his floor...
 
i should have known...
 
when you said
"I need to make sure
you have your own bed"
and that it can't be put away
it should be ready every day
 
because "I'm an anrgy person"
you would always say...
 
so I get to deal with it
if I leave then you'll feel it...
 
I should have known...
 
when you attacked me
then ran from me...
then said that I shamed you
when I told you...
"I'm going to sleep in the car
you can have the tent"
as blood leaked from my
not-yet-a-scar
 
and then the next day...
you worried what I would do and say...
would I leave you? would I
"hold this over you"?
would people think you a monster?
 
but what about me?
do you consider that with your decry?
 
i spent all my energy
supporting you
lifting you up
making you feel better
about what you did
to me
 
saying it would be fine
saying I won't re-live that crime in my mind
i won't want to drink more wine to feel just a little more sublime
that it'll be better if we only give it some time
my feelings and outbursts could shame you so I'll make sure they stay JUST mine...
 
and on my misery and loneliness
i began to dine...
 
chew it
swallow
shove it down in my gut
 
let it permeate my body
mind
and even my butt
 
i should have known....
 
not to get into bed with you
not to move into a home with you
 
that one night when we fought
in the street
about RFID chips and
conspiracies
 
and I apologized ...
because megan said I was broken
and i thought so too
only I didn't know she knew
just what strings to pull
to make me feel like I'm the monster
when she's dating her future husband
and in the same rhyme
saying "I love you, come out here, we'll have a good time....
forget that back burner thing, it'll be just fine
i'm moving to be with you
and there aren't any hidden designs
in my mind"
 
i should have known...
 
and i did.
 
i did the whole time.
 
but even i know i'm broken...
 
can't trust myself--
 
hell i can barely even rhyme
 
i felt rejected dejected miserable and imperfected
 
i know now this illusory world of "my problems" is too often just her own issues projected
and my gullibility is reflected
when part of me knows what's up and then my anger is inflected
 
red flags
 
look prettier
 
every
single
day.
 
so next time
 
i can promise me
 
i won't
look
away.
...

by Tokala
Letting go

My love language is 
Quality time
And we had some
Quality rhymes
Some explosive crimes
Sharing our
Agitated minds
 
And we packed
A whole lifetime
Into that month
Love, smiles and 
Your soothing 
touch
 
It felt like forever
I loved to just linger 
 
But
 
It didn't take long
 
For me to realize...
That the 2nd floor balcony
Is much
Much
Much
Much
 
Too low
 
To live up to 
My
 
Ideative standards
My
Perfectionist
Suicidal parameters
 
Because doing a job
Half assed
Is no way to live
(Even if it's how I live)
And not a good way to try 
To die
 
Maybe better
To kill us instead
The two headed monster
We made out of fiery love 
And the smoke of our kindled fears
Until it burned away, leaving only dread
 
Maybe killing us
Saved you and me
Let our spirits roam free
 
And consequently
 
I feel,
Reluctantly
 
I dream,
Confusedly 
 
I'm Distracted from my avoidant distractions
I'm Drawn to these odd refractions
 
Broken glass and twisted mirrors; 
I'm finding they lie shattered
in the past
 
and when relax my grip
when i start to let go
my fingers finally bleed
i see myself looking forward
and see it's healing my soul
...

by Tokala
Scared of feeling

At times I fear feelings... 
Feeling them
Rolling in them
Drowning in them
 
But I have also
Found
I relish
Having them
Accepting them
Being more than them
 
There is nothing to fear
Not even fear
 
For they are just messengers
From the body
And the mind
 
Reminding us
 
That we
Are
Alive. 
 
I love my feelings 
I thank my feelings
I want to take them
Out
To lunch
And get to know them
Better
...

by Tokala