is a complicated thing
Once upon a time
I had all the power in the world
and couldn't do anything with it
Now, I am powerless
As I lay here
with my body ravaged.
But in the ravaging,
I again had power
infinite power
To say no
to stop
to let my thoughts disappear.
I handed you my power
and let you do what you would with it
Knowing the whole time
that it was my power
not yours.
I handed you everything
despite the break-up songs
You treated me with love
When I clutched on you
you asked if I was okay
My silent calls
fall on your ears
and you listen.
So next time
I will give you power again
and I will trust you
to use it well
When you touch me
Lime green shoots through me
and I stir and cry out
in love and joy
Your lips
are the deep blue of the ocean floor
they rock me gently
back and forth
until I let myself drift away on the waves
His lips
are an ugly blood-red
they hurt my eyes
and leave their traces
everywhere they touch
Your hand in my hair
emanates green
a soft and gentle green
no matter how hard you pull
He touches my arm
and yellow ricochets through my heart
sickening and pale
too bright
and unfocused
You hold me down gently
and the cuffs ring purple in my ears
speaking to me
of safety
His rough hold is
sharp gray
done with force
and steel
You wound me
but the wounds pour out warm white
and I bathe
in the sunlight of my pain
When he does hurt me -
which is not often -
it is sickly brown
oozing and rotting
touching me
holding me
loving me
You fill me
with the colors of the forest
and the ocean
the sunrise
touching me
holding me
wanting me
He fills me
with the colors of my insides
and infected wounds
the nightmares
Some of your shades are the same,
it's true
but how can you compare
the red of blood
with the red in the sunset?

by Shining Eyes