I sit and wonder

I sit and I wonder,
Do you know what it's like?
To stay up afraid,
Scared to sleep at night.
It's easy to pretend,
To say I'm okay...
To hide my tears,
They shed every day.
To give everyone advice,
Myself I can not follow.
Instead I sit and I cry,
I weep and I wallow.
Just seeing your name,
I'm right back there.
This pain I feel,
The ultimate despair.
The feeling of choking,
You're not even there.
But you squeeze every last breath,
Cut off my air.
You're always beside me,
But not as a friend.
As a demon, a monster,
There 'til the end.
I'll never get away,
Escape your hold on me.
I beg, I pray...
please, please set me free

by Tryingtosurvive