- Joined
- Jul 19, 2013
- Messages
- 8,461
I've been unemployed a few times in my life, and there are resources where I live that I can and have used, such as welfare, unemployment services, food stamps, etc. When I was around 22/23, I was unemployed for a time, having just returned from out of the country. My mom and dad let me live with them, with the provision that I do things around the house in lieu of rent until I got a job and could contribute to the household financially. I felt this was pretty fair at the time, a few of my younger siblings who were still under 18 felt it was unfair, because they didn't think I should be able to “free-load” off of mom and dad. Ultimately, it was between me and my parents, though, and what arrangement we worked out.
I was also at a point in my life where experience was a better teacher than being told what to think/do by others. I greatly benefitted from the experience of learning how to take care of myself, manage my financial needs, learn how to apply myself towards achieving a goal, etc. My mom and dad helped me some, but not a lot. They gave me a place to live, and I was able to eat with the rest of my family if I contributed to the household in some way like chores, dishes, cleaning, etc, and showed them that I was applying for jobs and working to becoming independent. I felt a little stifled by having to show what I was doing, but ultimately it prepared me for things later on, like how I would have to show a boss what I was contributing to a job.
I feel very grateful to my parents for their willingness to help me out when I was in that situation, and for them giving me boundaries as well, so that I did have some expectations to meet, even if I felt a little miffed/annoyed by some of the things they wanted me to do. Looking back, I see what they were trying to do and it did benefit me for years afterward.
Hope things work out for your friend.
I was also at a point in my life where experience was a better teacher than being told what to think/do by others. I greatly benefitted from the experience of learning how to take care of myself, manage my financial needs, learn how to apply myself towards achieving a goal, etc. My mom and dad helped me some, but not a lot. They gave me a place to live, and I was able to eat with the rest of my family if I contributed to the household in some way like chores, dishes, cleaning, etc, and showed them that I was applying for jobs and working to becoming independent. I felt a little stifled by having to show what I was doing, but ultimately it prepared me for things later on, like how I would have to show a boss what I was contributing to a job.
I feel very grateful to my parents for their willingness to help me out when I was in that situation, and for them giving me boundaries as well, so that I did have some expectations to meet, even if I felt a little miffed/annoyed by some of the things they wanted me to do. Looking back, I see what they were trying to do and it did benefit me for years afterward.
Hope things work out for your friend.