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Discussion - forgiveness and forgiving

kessiemonster

Getting The Hang Of It
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
42
#21
I'm not sure I can answer that because I haven't forgiven my abusers. I think I'm more concerned with forgiving myself right now and not blaming myself for anything and trying to recover from what they did to me. Maybe one day I'll be able to forgive them. But I don't think that will happen anytime soon. I'm sorry if I wasn't much help to you.
:ty It was good for us to read about forgiving self.
 

sarahoknow

Part Of The Crowd
Joined
Feb 7, 2019
Messages
71
#24
I would hope so. I think I have been guilty of that. There would be a reason for letting it happen. Probably due to a way of coping with what is going on. A way of making things not better, but less worse. Or maybe we had no choice. Either way I would hope forgiveness would be forthcoming.
 

Aimee

Moderated User
Joined
Mar 9, 2021
Messages
93
#26
I find forgiveness and easy thing. Why hold anger, resentment, etc. inside us? It only harms us further, not the one who did harm to us. I long ago forgave them all. I only have some trouble forgiving my sister, who purposely caused some of my abuse to happen. I don't know why I still have very minor problems with her relating to this, though. But, I am and will continue to work on it and do my best to completely forgive her. Maybe it's b/c she's still around and blaming me for what all she caused to happen, I don't really know. But, whatever it it, I DO need to forgive her completely, for everything.

We all make mistakes in our lives, we all are not perfect one bit, we all have hurt people (verbally, physically, emotionally, etc). Why should we think we are so supreme and judge others. We aught to be looking more to ourselves, and what we can do for others. So what if we were hurt, abused, etc. So what??? Life goes on and we must too. Yes, most of it still sticks with us all, and we have lots of problems daily from it all we have to deal with. But, none of that should stop forgiveness. Forgiveness helps us heal and helps us move forward and learn to love others more, even with their faults.

The one that I have the most trouble forgiving is myself. Always true with me every day. I am currently trying to figure this out some, so that I can work on this. Even late last night, I was expressing what I wanted to work on to help with this.
 

Manya

here an there
Admin
Joined
Jul 30, 2009
Messages
17,831
#27
we all have hurt people (verbally, physically, emotionally, etc)
i wouldnt assume that. some survivors go on to abuse others, but most dont. we could start an anonymous poll, it might be interesting. i'll munch on it.

So what if we were hurt, abused, etc. So what???
so i personally choose to avoid people who are likely to hurt me, rather than embrace them and continue getting hurt. i can forgive and love them, but i dont have to stay close to them - and i certainly wont agree that what they did is not a big deal. it is a big deal. abuse is not ok.
 

Aimee

Moderated User
Joined
Mar 9, 2021
Messages
93
#28
i wouldnt assume that. some survivors go on to abuse others, but most dont. we could start an anonymous poll, it might be interesting. i'll munch on it.


so i personally choose to avoid people who are likely to hurt me, rather than embrace them and continue getting hurt. i can forgive and love them, but i dont have to stay close to them - and i certainly wont agree that what they did is not a big deal. it is a big deal. abuse is not ok.
Just want you and all to know I don't go around hurting others, unless something I have said, they might find it upsets them. I almost a 100% of the time, just take things quietly and don't even respond and just don't do anything just don't respond nothing. People doing say what they want and I know that's life and that doesn't bother me but sometimes it bothers me what they do and say but that's up to me what bothers me. But I don't go around upsetting people or hurting people are trying to be mean to people that's just not me or any of us one bit.
 
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