• Hey :) Just a reminder that Fort community is not equipped to discuss current ongoing abuse. If you're currently involved in an abusive relationship - please log out, contact hotlines and/or alternative sites (the Help tab on top of any page lists a few of each), and feel free to come back to Fort once you're safe and stable. Be safe.

At this for way too long, seriously isolated

N

notsurefornow

Guest
#1
Hello there everybody (“dear readers”),
I am a young 50-something survivor who, after decades of therapy and groups (facilitated ‘em too), is still struggling profoundly. Have bipolar and have had “manicotic” episodes — mania with psychosis. Last one of these was triggered by memories of sexual and physical abuse, primarily by my mother. Ended up homeless from this, plus losing all the community I’d worked years to build. Also lost the love of my life (so far): my dog. Relocated but it hasn’t gone well since & find myself now in this time of Covid virtually friendless. (Partner? Etc.? Hah!! ☹️). Very very alone. And I am an incredible extrovert! Oh, also very injured now, activities quite limited (such as volunteering or work). My life is really intolerable and has been so for far too many of my years on Earth. Plenty more....just wanted to share the unfortunate, dark essentials.
I welcome supportive feedback. Must say that advice is not likely to be useful. Spiritual and growth-oriented individual, aware that I sound depressed, hopeless, etc....probably though, whatever you could come up with to suggest, I have already done or tried!! 🌷
Wishing you all the best in your journey.
 

Manya

here an there
Admin
Joined
Jul 30, 2009
Messages
17,831
#2
wishing the best to you too :rs
its hard losing all of your support network at once. especially during a pandemic, when growing a new one is extra challenging. hope things get better for you :bf

ps: its against our guidelines to tell others what to do, think, or feel, so no need to worry about that here. also, spirituality/religion references are limited to spirituality folder only, cuz not everyone likes them. no need to worry about it too.
 

Jane

Lark Ascending
Got Keys
Joined
Jun 19, 2013
Messages
26,093
#4
Hi notsurefornow.

Agree - limits of the current global situations make it hard to get out and about...meetup with and nurture new friendships. Hope coming here helps.

For you a welcoming rose freshly picked from the fort garden :rs
 
Joined
Nov 20, 2020
Messages
11
#5
I really hope it helps to say: hear you... loud and clear. I am so sorry things are difficult at the moment. I guess, if there are places like this, there must be hope.

I really hope things ease-off for you and you can find some solace - I usually find solace in small things.
:fbf
 
C

CatDaddy2013

Guest
#6
Isn't it cynical more so than ironic, that you should lament your solitude whereas I wish nothing more for myself. I will not try to spice your life up with some generic -however heartfelt- advice. But if you can embrace a tentative relevance of absurdity, Imagine if you were walking down the street and you pass a window where a bunch of festive and happy looking individuals invite you to come in after weeks and months of compounded loneliness.

I didn't even think it could be possible that someone might actually want to be around somebody else. My situation is that I am a prisoner, I have been with someone that has made my life very difficult. I would give anything for just a week to actually do something constructive without all the fighting and introversion...and I am a self-made introvert.

I have no false advice for you, simply pure envy: please make the best of your time to be creative and read and elevate yourself when you can. Life will put the right people on your path when it is the time for that. cheers and thanks for your message
 
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