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Have I mentioned lately how nice it is to have found a site where people respond to me in some way other than playing armchair MD?
I have many things to say about Fort, but I will keep it short. Fort saved my life. Fort took me in my worst days and changed my life and continues to change it. Thank you...thank you for being here.
the fort is the only place i felt accepted 100%. where i feel like people really do listen. a place that i can allow any of my little ones out instead of only a few who are stronger. all can be here if they want because its that safe here.
My heart has never been so touched by the stories I read here, there is nothing superficial or ideals so high they are unattainable. The people here are real and are passionate about extending support no matter how bad your situation is.
I think the most profound thing about being here is the eagerness I have gathered to work through my issues, finding ways to do this and sharing sometimes, idea's.
I had zero idea that anything like this even existed. Truth is I've had to work at not feeling sorry for myself that I didn't have Fort 10 or 15 years ago.
It is a place where every voice matters and is heard… A place where I can share and discuss issues with other survivors. A place with excellent resources. Most of all a place where I can come and safely say it how it is.
The other day was the first in 7 years that I SI and I was feeling very ashamed about it. I posted a thread wanting to talk about how I was feeling and some of you welcomed me with no bias to I was and why I am an SI. Thank you for your support and open arms.
I like that I get to show the silly side of myself. This is new for me. I am very grateful for the positive influence the Fort has had in my life. Fort Refuge rocks!
i felt the need to be around people who understand, so went into chatroom, and couldn't have been made to feel more welcome, so wanted to say a big thank you to those of you who were there and listened to my ramblings.
internet friends are great support, much of what i experience is good connection but remember there is nothing like a rl friend, one where we can share fully. when it is time, venture out, this site is a support to building a healthy 'real' life.
So many things I've only been able to explain vaguely, and almost always, someone says 'Oh, me too, been there.' The courage and confidence I gained here gave me the strength to open up to people in 3d now as well, and I've learned what healthy conversations and friendships look like here.
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(July 19th 2014) Tasha said:
A year ago today, I was in crisis. I thought that I was going to have to go inpatient, as the only way to help me through the tremendous struggles I was having with my ED and how it was affecting my health. I was actually looking for some kind of hotline or a facility when I found a list of resources on an ED website. All it had was the admin email for Fort, but I figured if there was an admin for this place, then there was a site too. I took a chance and typed fortrefuge.com into my browser, and read some of the pages. The more I read, the more I realized that I might have found what I was looking for. I didn't join right away, thought about it for a few days, and then, since I just wasn't finding any other resource that I thought might help me, I joined. I was thinking I needed to go inpatient because I couldn't seem to find the amount of support that I knew I needed--even though I have a great T and had been seeing her for over a year--and thought that inpatient might be the only way to help myself. I've discovered over this past year, though, that peer support can be extremely helpful, in addition to professional help. Finding Fort, I found a place where I didn't have to hide. I don't have to hide my DID, I don't have to hide my abuse history, I don't have to hide the ugly aftermath of my abuse, I don't have to hide my various diagnoses, I don't have to hide who I am. Surprisingly, I found that ppl accepted me and liked me. For the first few months, I was kinda surprised at that, just because it was so far out of the realm of my experience up til then. I think that I've learned a lot over the past year, being on Fort. I think that it's helping me heal from abuse and its aftermath in a lot of ways--even ways I wasn't even aware that I needed to heal. I feel like I've got this huge mountain still to climb, but it's nice to have support of my peers while I try to climb it. It's been really helpful to have discussions with ppl, ppl who understand how hard abuse aftermath is. It's been really fun to talk with ppl about what has and hasn't worked for them, to share ideas with each other. The support I've found here has been really invaluable to me. My T keeps saying how valuable support groups are in the healing process, and I really agree with her. I think I'd be in quite a different place emotionally had I not run across Fort. Sometimes I wonder if I've made progress as far as healing, because what I'm working on now is some of the hardest trauma work I've ever done, but it's also the first real trauma work I've been able to do. Sometimes I wish that I'd been able to keep seeing the T I had just after I got out of the abuse. She was amazing, but she was working on helping me learn coping skills just so I could function and get through college and all the other things I had on my plate at the time. Sadly, I still miss her. I kinda wish I could somehow let her know how I'm doing now. From then until now I know there's been progress. I wonder if that's how I need to think of it--seeing how far I've come since I got out of the abuse, instead of trying to see progress at closer intervals. The progress I've had in the past year just seems miniscule compared to what I feel I need to/should have accomplished. I guess maybe you can't rush it, though. I definitely know the pitfalls of overprocessing. Thinking about it, I think I actually am making progress though, progress I can see. A year ago, I wasn't experiencing my feelings like I am now, and even if that's the only thing I've managed to progress in, then that's enough. Expressing myself is important, and I have a feeling it's gonna be important as I go through more trauma work in T. Guess I'm just trying to say that I'm really glad that a year ago I was at such a place that I looked for support, and stumbled in a round about way into Fort.
If one begins all deeds well, it is likely that they will end well too.
This page was last updated on July 9th, 2018
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© 2008-2018 Fort Refuge. Please don't reproduce without permission.