POEMS by ABUSE SURVIVORS

This is a page of creative writing submitted by Fort Refuge members.

Fort Refuge

by Leesh

Click the door and come inside.
From this point on, you don't need to hide.
This is a safe place.
Your lonliness will soon erase.
Here, we know we all have worries
Offering help when emotions flurry.

If you're having a bad day,
there's help here. It'll be okay.
You can go on chat or post on a forum.
Just be kind to others - proper decorum.
This is a place where everyone understands.
The difficulties in life we know firsthand.

You'll soon become friends with those who listen.
No more will your heart be imprisoned.
It's a nice thing that I am able to say
the people on here truly do make my day.
They are so insightful.
Their hope is delightful.
Administrators offer heartwarming advice.
And everyone is listening even if their response is concise.

Fort Refuge is place of hope.
With people who are finding new ways to cope.
We are all warriors Who sTruggled in battle.
We all have strong minds - Ignoring the prattle.
We all are our own person[s]. We don't have to pretend.
Above all we are survivors - who will fight till the end.

Really Real

by Claire

A little bud of consciousness
Born out of pain
Developed and grew
Thoughts and desires
Personality and voice
A soul
I am really real

The world does not know
Who really is real
Body may be the same
But I still feel
I am really real

I am Claire
18 and free
I love
I laugh
I breath
I move
I am really real

It is her body
Her arms
Her legs
My soul
I am really real

I took her pain
I took her doubts
I held them all
And protected this body
Why cant I live?
Why cant I love?
I am really real

One day I will scream
One day I will shout
One day they will hear
One day every one will Know
I am really real

***

by StormyDaze

There is a wonderful thing in this world,
A circle of friendships that never end.
Where you can be yourself without care,
Talk about anything that you can share.

I have found this circle on the web,
Where there is understanding and truth.
I am not alone in my suffering; the past,
I have company that keeps me feeling sane at last.

So for now I have friends I haven't met,
Not in person, just through their caring words.
With support from each other and a caring ear,
We stand up to fight the nightmares and fear.

Sharing and soul searching together,
We learn to heal and stand tall.
United we stand, separate we fall,
The circle is here to catch us all.
Always.

When They Took Us Away

by JanuaryHorse

We felt trapped with no way out,
We didn’t know what this was all about,
It happened over and over again,
All we knew was the unstoppable pain,
We waited and waited but no one came,
We thought we were all to blame,
No one knew what went on in our house,
Not the things that were done by the Uncle, the dad and his spouse.
Until the day they took us away,
In their car with the red and blue lights,
They took us away and ended all the cursing and fights.
We were still scared, not knowing that we had found our way out,
But with a new mom to love and care for us,
We would find out how lucky we were when they took us away.

Shards of Glass

by Anonymous

So poised, you wear a perfect smile.
Great pretender.
At least for now.
You're safe when no emotions show
For who can judge
If no one knows?
But hidden there, beneath your poise
Lies all the hurt.
A deafening noise
That yells and screams.
It's cold as ice.
But, it's your strength;
Your sacrifice.
I've heard you say
'No one can see what lies inside,
What's underneath
All the pretense.
The perfect smile."
But I can see.
I've walked that mile.
Your faith and trust like barren lands, or
Shards of glass
Within your hands.
What's lost is lost,
Yet life goes on as
We pretend there's nothing wrong.

Tears for Rachel

by Lucea

she was such a solemn little girl..
she has learned what it is to smile
she has seen a butterfly and wondered at its beauty
she has never known laughter
joy is something that only comes through the extras
she knows they have it
she can sense it in them
she has never know it
she has known Him
He gave her refuge
she hides in the dark
the only face we can see is Lucy
we have drawn her face here because
she looks so much like Rachel
Lucy is five
Rachel is two
she is the little one
the original
the one who made us
the one we cry for.

The Game

by WCL

Want to play a game?
Ok, when do we start?
We already have.
What are the rules?
Those are mine, at a whim they will change.
How do you win?
You don't.
What is the purpose?
My amusement.
I don't want to play.
Too late.
Enough I am not playing with you.
You have no choice.
I can leave.
No you can't
Watch me.
You are still here.
Stop!
Why?
I don't like this it's pointless.
There is a point to everything.
Then what is the point to this?
To break you.
I am done!
Almost.

The Elusive Dove

by Me1issa

I once did crave your affection and love
I'd search the house all about
Endurance wrought pride, as I slowly died
It was elusive: an invisible dove.

I once did crave you warmth and compassion
I'd search the house all about
Endurance wrought pride, as I slowly died
Was broken, alone, yet stout.

I once did crave your assurance and comfort
I'd search the house all about
Endurance wrought pride, as I slowly died
My heart did fray with doubt.

Yes, I once did crave your affection and love
Though I searched the house all about
Inside I cried, as I slowly died
Never found that elusive old dove.

Guardian of Secrets

by Jess22

She heard the footsteps of a broken thought dissipating upon her acknowledgement, desperate to find the source of such a haunting melody inside of her and fueled by an addiction to curiosity; she chased the echoes that which reverberated down an unfamiliar hallway. These surroundings that her weightless feet seemingly propelled her through only tempted her thirst for a long searched truth more with each stride but she must focus on her task at hand. However; with each lunge, this hallway seemed to grow longer with shape shifting walls, doors and now voices to accompany the shattering thought that she had originally pursued. With not a second passing between this realization, the scenery changed into entirely new place; One that was more eerie simply based on the fact that now she had been precariously placed at the bottom of an ascending staircase. Glancing around slightly dazed, disoriented and but with a slight twinge of exhilaration; She gathered that this must be the end, that which she had been so desperately clawing a path towards. Yet as she trembled in recovery before it, a fleeing sensation crept throughout her. “Run, run fast! Do not satiate this hunger inside you!” was projected so forcefully in her mind that she had begun to quake with doubt causing her to begin second guessing this desire, this need.

Timidly, she placed a foot onto the beginning step as if it were a first kiss; wanting to proceed but hesitant of it being a mistake she supposed it is as they, curiosity kills the cat. Within in the span of blink, as if by teleportation, the door stood before her leaving even more muddling confusion. Just the mere image of it itself amplified the questioning slowly creeping inside but so far she had come that to turn away now seemed so self-defeating. Standing at least ten foot tall while easily spanning five across, the door was etched, carved, designed in a daunting imagery that would surely make one high tail themselves in any opposing direction so long as it was away from the morbidity radiating from this giant guardian of secrets. Reaching for the handle, determined to overcome this no matter what she felt pulsing in heart, she was again seemingly transported somewhere else. Upon the catchment of her breath, for this was getting exhausting, her eyes began focusing on the sites encompassing every space, every void that left no corner unfilled.

This had been what she yearned, pined and sought after for as long as her memory had served; however, now she had to fight back the urge to regurgitate every crystallized emotion that had been dammed up for so long. This truth was so real, vividly playing through every scene, every moment, every second of the life forgotten long ago only to loop itself at each end. It was almost as if these images were beings of their own, standing independently of themselves in imitation of physical objects representing every horror. Off to the side tucked in a corner silently observing stood an ominous man with a crooked smirk. Upon the notice of this figure, he was at her side with no in between of his beginning and her destination. Slipping slightly backwards out of surprise, she stared wide-eyed at this gentlemen who is now easily six foot five. His grimace intensified as he uttered only one question, the ultimate decision upon her actions. “Was this worth it?” Once those words had escaped his lips, the room began to vibrate, quake and fill with a blinding light that radiated and permeated everything contained inside all while coinciding with the girl who had now fallen to her knees with hands clasped over her ears in muffled screaming. This figure, though caught off guard with such intensity at the response, knew this was his answer as well as hers.

It had been worthwhile waiting to enter into the guardian of secrets and though painfully excruciating, all of their will powers have now been forged into diamonds with the exception that now it was a single, unified diamond that which the likes of nothing could shatter again.

Yes, it had all been worth the journey, the journey into being.

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