FORUM AND CHAT ROOM RULES

Respect the boundaries of others. No one has to respond to a question or comment if they do not want to.

Do not ask personal questions that would identify a member (full name, address, phone number, etc). Some members join us here because they enjoy the anonymity of an online site. It is often difficult for survivors to discuss their ab*se in person, but they feel safer here.

Do not try to “force” anyone to talk. Everyone is free to speak if and when they are ready. Please recognize that it may take time for our members to trust you.

Be supportive. Suggestions and encouragement are always welcome, but do not try to tell anyone what to do. Let people make their own decisions.

Please request permission before opening a private chat box (p2p).

Registering your chat room name is optional, but recommended. This will prevent anyone else from logging in with your name.

Please use the same name that you use on the Forum in the Chat Rooms. This will prevent confusion.

Alters within a system may register their own name on the Forum and Chat Rooms.

It is our policy due to the time and work involved that we do not delete accounts or mass posts upon request.

We do not tolerate racism, disparaging sexist remarks, or negative commentary against sexual orientation.

Do not make suicidal threats. It is abusive to other members who are not able to help you. If you are experiencing strong suicidal urges, it is critical for you to get help for yourself. Please call 1-800-SUICIDE or your local emergency number to receive the help you need. And remember, you are an important part of our online community. We want you to be safe. Please get the help you need.

Please practice taking care of yourself. If there is something on the site or in a discussion that is upsetting to you, we ask that you take responsibility for your own care. If necessary, leave the room or the site until you feel emotionally ready to return. This does NOT mean you have done anything wrong. This goes both ways. If you are in a conversation and someone leaves suddenly, don’t assume it’s your fault. Allow others to take care of themselves.

Please refrain from posting and chatting while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

Religion/Spirituality can be a very sensitive subject as some members have had traumatic experiences with such. Please keep discussions relative to this topic in any of the “Spirituality” folders in forums, or in Private Messages in the chat rooms.

Under no circumstances may any adult member arrange an off-line meeting with a minor member of our community.

There is no cybers*x or p*rn*grapy allowed on the site.

This site is not to be used for research purposes.

Spoilers (Softeners): Spoilers (also called softeners) are asterisks (*) used in words that can potentially be triggering to some survivors. Just put an asterisk in place of the vowels in such a word. Doing this "softens" such words so they are less offensive. For example: ab*se, s*x. Using spoilers in this way helps us be respectful and supportive of each other in a non-offensive way. As already stated, self-care is ultimately the responsibility of each individual person, but let’s make sure everyone feels welcome and safe. If you are unsure whether you should use a spoiler in a certain word, be on the safe side and use a spoiler.
Please note that certain rooms and folders do not require spoilers. If a spoiler is not required, it will be noted in the description. Be advised that these rooms and folders may contain triggering material or comments. Always practice self-care when entering these rooms/folders.

Password protected rooms and chats: Passwords will be given to members who request after having posted in the forums for 30 days. This is for everyone’s protection. It gives new members a chance to familiarize themselves with the site, and it gives all of us a chance to get to know each other and build trust.

Please note we are not here in the capcity of *professionals*, regardless of employment, education or training. . The administrators and moderators here are survivors just like you. We have our own struggles with healing as do you. Please respect this and do not expect us to replace the advice of a qualified professional such as a therapist or doctor.