Memorial Wall : victims of domestic abuse

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This Memorial Wall is our tributes to those who have died as a result of child abuse, domestic violence, rape, religious abuse, or other types of abuse. Some of these people we knew personally, others we only heard of. Abuse is not a theoretical concept, it happens to real people, and costs lives. It's important to honor those we lost to abuse by telling their stories, so that the secret that killed them does not remain secret, and so that other lives might be saved, as a result of increased awareness.
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February 28th:
Tara Costigan
died on February 28th, 2015

Just one week after giving birth to her third child Australian Tara's ex forced his way into her house and axed her to death while inflicting grievous bodily harm on a second woman, and seriously assaulting another man who were present in the home. The Canberra Times reports that Tara had sought court protection from her ex-partner a day before she was violently killed. The interim domestic violence order was granted by the magistrate, but it is unclear whether her murderer was served with the order by police.

Posted by Jane on July 21st, 2018
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March 1st:
Rowena Sharpe
died on March 1st, 2012

She was murdered by her husband, whom she had escaped from. She was living elsewhere, with her children, trying to rebuild her life. One day, her husband appeared and killed her, then himself. The children fled to their neighbour's house. Reading about this story in my local newspaper affected me very deeply, and my heart still goes out to the people of her community.

Posted by Red on August 13th, 2012
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Amina Filali
died on March 1st, 2012

16-year-old Amina committed suicide after being forced to marry her rapist. After submitting to the marriage, Amina confided to her mother that she was subjected to violent beatings from her husband; her mom simply asked her to be more patient. As a final resort to escape her violent marriage, Amina injested rat poison and ended her life.

Posted by Lala on August 11th, 2012
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March 4th:
Chantelle Barnsdale-Quean
died on March 4th, 2013

Chantelle was a 35yo mother of two from UK, strangled by her husband. He then cut himself and told the police that she attacked him and hung herself. The jury didn't find his story credible.

Posted by Manya on March 18th, 2016
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Jahlil Clements
died on March 4th, 2012

Jahlil was an 11yo boy from Virginia, USA, who died trying to protect his mom from domestic violence. She was driving on an interstate, with her boyfriend and Jahlil in the car, and was having an argument with the boyfriend. She pulled over when he started hitting her. Jahlil ran into traffic to flag down help for his mom, and was killed. "Kids are always affected by domestic violence when it goes on in the household, but I've never seen anything like this before -to this magnitude," said Elizabeth Crawford, director of the local Domestic Violence and Counseling Center.

Posted by Manya on February 27th, 2016
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March 7th:
Jessica Joyner
died on March 7th, 2016

29yo Jess from Wisconsin, USA, had a husband and five children aged between five and eleven. The children said that on March 7th mom and dad were having an argument because dad was yelling at mom for "dating a crackhead," after which "he stabbed her, she was running away, and he stabbed her a couple of more times." Jess ran to a next door neighbor (followed by children) and bled to death. "Now she won't be there for when I go to prom or my wedding," one of her daughters wrote. "I love you, Mom."

Posted by Manya on May 13th, 2017
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March 11th:
Marci Garvin
died on March 11th, 2013

39yo Marci Garvin from Texas, USA, was born with multiple disabilities, including cerebral palsy, Marci was deaf, mostly blind, and unable to talk. Her family insisted that Marci be provided opportunities to succeed. Marci attended a public school, went to restaurants, movies, library, shopping. "It's almost like God chose these people to care for these children," one mother said after hearing Marci's mom, an advocate for the disabled, share her story.

Marci Garvin worked part time for 12 years, doing clerical work for a local newspaper. "It was of national significance," said Michael Callahan, president of Marc Gold & Associates, a consulting company that trains agencies, systems and families in working with the significantly disabled. "We know that we need to be focusing on people with the extent of Marci's disability, but nationally it is extremely rare."

As years went on, Marci's mom's health deteriorated; she had two heart attacks, was diagnosed with the early stages of dementia and had congestive heart and kidney function failure. "That's when the wheels fell off," Marci's dad said. Marci's older sister became the primary caregiver of Marci, their mom, and her own daughter who had Down syndrome and other medical issues. Marci hasn't seen a doctor in three years. "I would have to take my mom, my sister and my daughter all loaded up in the van. I was overwhelmed," her sister told investigators. "I was doing the best I could do," she said.

On March 9th, two days before Marci's death, her sister called 911 and said that Marci was "coming to the end stages." When paramedics arrived, they found a "hoarder house", so cluttered that they didn't have the room to examine Marci. She was covered in urine, feces, and bugs. Her diaper hasn't been changed for weeks. She had more than 20 major bedsores, and weighted 50 to 60 pounds, almost half of her normal weight. Marci died from sepsis, pneumonia, acute renal failure and severe dehydration. Marci's sister and father pleaded guilty to causing injury to the disabled and were sentenced to twenty years of prison.

Posted by Manya on March 9th, 2017
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March 12th:
Harlan Haynes
died on March 12th, 2014

97yo Harlan Haynes from Washington state, USA, was in the care of his 59yo daughter. She loved him, and was receiving $1,200 per month to care for him, but struggled with various mental health issues, including hoarding. The house was full of human feces and diapers piled up on the floor. In addition to more than a dozen cats and one dog, the home contained "an infestation of insects, vermin (and) rodents." There were no functioning bathroom facilities. Mr Hanes was found "emaciated with a large amount of feces and urine soaking through" his adult diaper. Flies were seen around his mouth, and "larva (was) ... present on his beard." A forensic pathologist determined he died of malnutrition and dehydration. Coroners believe he had been dead for at least two days before he was found. The daughter said she fell in November, was injured, and since then "the care of her home and the care of her father deteriorated." No other family member saw Mr Hanes since August.

Mr Hanes' daughter was sentenced to two years in prison for his death. "I couldn't see the forest through the trees," she said. "I should have asked for help." The judge noted that the condition of her house had been repeatedly described as "deplorable," and it might have otherwise been her choice to live in squalor. "When tasked to care for another human being, she doesn't have that choice," he said. "What we want is for our mom to come home and get help for her mental issue and start healing from this tragedy," said her daughter.

Posted by Manya on March 11th, 2017
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March 13th:
Monica Anne Anderson
died on March 13th, 2010

26yo Monica from California, USA, was killed by her girlfriend. Their relationship has been violent before, but no charges were pressed. On March 13th they had a fight over a cellphone charger, and the girlfriend stabbed Monica 91 times, causing her death. "She started running away from me, and that's when it happened," explained the woman. "I was just really pissed."

"People ask me sometimes how many children I have, and I don't know how to answer that," said Monica's mother. "I had two, I have one left, or do I still have two, and one's in the ground? How do I answer that?"

Posted by Manya on June 26th, 2016
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Elli Perkins
died on March 13th, 2003

Elli Perkins was a mother of two, a professional glass artist, and a Scientologist from New York, USA. Her son Jeremy was mentally ill, but didn't receive treatment because Elli followed the Scientology ban on psychiatric medications. The Scientologist treatment turned out to be ineffective for Jeremy, he was banned from the church as a level III "Potential Trouble Source". Elli was advised by the church to give him vitamins and keep him busy with house chores. On March 13th, 2003, Jeremy attempted suicide and then stabbed his mom 77 times with a steak knife, as she was talking on the phone with a friend. He said, "When she made me take the shower this morning this was the last straw."

Jeremy Perkins was diagnosed with schizophrenia, found not responsible by reason of mental disease or defect, and placed in a secure facility. He was placed on medications, which court psychiatrists state have not cured him, but stabilized his condition. According to his attorney, "Jeremy himself told me that he firmly believes that if he had been taking these medications [earlier] that it would not have happened."

Posted by Manya on February 10th, 2016
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March 15th:
Jackie Ohide
died on March 15th, 2015

27yo Jackie from Australia worked in senior care and lived with her boyfriend and two sons. "They kept to themselves a lot but seemed nice," neighbors said. Another neighbor remembered that the boys liked to play on the trampoline. "They are lovely children, they are always respectful," she said. At 4AM on March 15th the boys, aged seven and two, found the body of their mother in her car, and honked and screamed until the neighbors came out to assist them. Jackies boyfriend has been arrested on murder charges. "It is an eerie feeling to think that could happen without anyone hearing anything," the neighbors said.

Posted by Manya on March 6th, 2017
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March 17th:
Max and Saga Jangestig
died on March 17th, 2008

3yo Max and 1yo Saga Jangestig from Sweden lived with their mom and stepdad in a suburb of Stockholm. The stepdad was stalked by a woman he had a two-week affair with on a vacation trip to Greece. She followed him to Sweden, came to his house with a hammer, and when Max's and Saga's mom answered the door - the woman struck her on the head 15 times, and then did the same to both kids. Max and Saga died, their mom survived.

Posted by Manya on March 9th, 2017
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March 21st:
Zahra Abrahimzadeh
died on March 21st, 2010

44yo Mrs Abrahimzadeh had three children and an abusive husband. The family moved from Iran to Australia, where she was able to seek help, and eventually moved with her kids to a domestic violence shelter. The four lived in hiding, but the next year Mrs Abrahimzadeh went to a Persian New Years function at a local convention centre, where her husband killed her in front of about 300 witnesses. "He was controlling, domineering, regularly resorted to verbal abuse and to violence," said their son. "He was very well-respected in the community (and) people would say 'your father is a gentleman',but obviously, they did not know about what happened behind closed doors. For my mother, there was nothing much to do... if you have got a bully over your head, beating you up, you just sit there and cry."

Posted by Manya on July 18th, 2016
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