Memorial Wall

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This Memorial Wall is our tributes to those who have died as a result of child abuse, domestic violence, rape, religious abuse, or other types of abuse. Some of these people we knew personally, others we only heard of. Abuse is not a theoretical concept, it happens to real people, and costs lives. It's important to honor those we lost to abuse by telling their stories, so that the secret that killed them does not remain secret, and so that other lives might be saved, as a result of increased awareness.
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April 2nd:
Christian Choate
died on April 2nd, 2009

13yo Christian from Indiana, USA was physically and sexually abused as a young child in his mom's home, so he moved to live with his father, stepmother, and nine other kids, all in a single-wide trailer. When his was about 9yo, his father saw him acting sexually inappropriate with another relative. The father and stepmom explained to the kids that Christian was a "dog", purchased a dog cage from a neighbor, and chained the boy inside it. He was subjected to frequent beatings and starvation, had to wear a diaper, and was only allowed out of the cage to clean, eat, or use the bathroom. Sometimes he was chained to a bed frame where his dad punched, kicked, and beat him with a metal pole on the head. He was choked until he turned purple and forced to take cold baths. His hands and feet were often bound, leaving his arms and legs so damaged he could barely walk. When the kids' grandma would visit, Christian was kept in a locked room in their trailer home with a blanket over his cage so she wouldn't notice him.

Stepmother gave Christian pen and paper, as well as topics to write about, such as "Why do you want to play with your peter? Why do you still want to see your mom? Why can't you let the past go? What does it mean to be part of a family?" Department of Child Services released Christian's letters to the public; he wondered when, "someone, anyone, was going to check on him". He "wanted to be liked by his family". He was "isolated", "hungry" and "wanted to die".

The neighbor (who unknowingly sold the family the dog cage) was concerned about welfare of the children. She called Department of Child Services, and said she remembers watching a DCS staffer stop by the home in 2008. "She never even stepped foot in the house," the neighbor said."(Stepmother) came out of the house and stood there at the sidewalk and talked to the lady, and I just remember thinking, 'Go inside'."

On April 2nd, 2009, Christian refused to eat. His father responded by punching him multiple times in the head, then tossing him back in his cage. Christian died of blunt trauma, internal bleeding, and a skull fracture. "Nobody's gonna miss him anyhow," said his father. "We'll just bury him." They placed Christian's body in a 2ft deep grave across the street, with a Bible on his chest, and lime to speed up decay. Christian's older sister reported his death two years later, when the father left them.

"Did I fail him? Yes, I failed him," said Christian's father at sentencing, but then added, "I think I'm the only one who loved him."


Posted by Manya on March 10th, 2017
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April 3rd:
Alyssa Morgan
died on April 3rd, 2015

12yo Allyssa from Iowa, USA, killed herself because she was bullied in school for being bisexual. "When you have other people telling you that you're not worthy of anything, or that being bisexual is wrong or somehow disgusting... They're going to take that into thought - that maybe I wasn't right for this world," said her mom. Alyssa left a note saying, "I'm sorry… for everything… I just can't anymore… I love you ALL Goodbye."


Posted by Manya on March 7th, 2016
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Harry Lew
died on April 3rd, 2011

Lance Cpl. Harry Lew was hazed by his fellow Marines, and found dead on April 3. The world wouldn't have known how Lew died, had not one other soldier came forward to tell the truth. His parents were informed by the USMC that Harry was killed on the battlefield, 'supporting combat operations' "I feel very proud of my son," his father said. "But I also feel very, very sad. Nothing can compare to the loss of my only son." One of Lew's passions was tricking, which is a combination of break dancing, acrobatics and martial arts. He helped coach a youth group called "That Breaking Club." The members remember him as someone who brought them close together with his sunny personality and impressive mid-air flips.


Posted by Jane on June 16th, 2018
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April 4th:
McKinley Wilder
died on April 4th, 2012

2yo McKinley from California, USA, died of alcohol poisoning and malnutrition. Her mom and dad were going through a hard divorce. Mom felt dad was manipulative and enjoying the battles, dad felt mom was "a cold-blooded narcissist," and the kids (McKinley had an older sister) were caught in the middle of it. The mother was warned by CPS about her alcohol consumption and was required to stay sober while children were in her custody. Instead, she was binge-drinking and giving alcohol to them too. She was sentenced to ten years as per her plea agreement, to spare the surviving child the trauma of having to testify against her.


Posted by Manya on July 5th, 2016
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mikee
died on April 4th, 2011

mikee mi so soree you feleds ths wer tha onlee waa owt mi wesh mi kolda helpeds you mi wesh you wolda gwabeds hols of mi han oen moer tiem mi wil nevr evr forges you you wer mi angel forevr you wil be mi angel


Posted by kami on April 9th, 2011
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April 5th:
Afroza Chowdhury
died on April 5th, 2015

60yo Afroza Chowdhury from California, USA, had a fight with her husband. He threatened to kill her, and she responded she'd rather kill herself than be killed by him. He called 911 and reported her for threatening suicide. The police officers who arrived on scene couldn't understand Mrs Chowdhury's accent and spoke with her adult son over the phone. In the end the husband was arrested for making threats (while on probation for a previous offense), and Mrs Chowdhury was taken to a psychiatric hospital for evaluation. A few hours later the husband was released. Mrs Chowdhury was also released and put on a taxi. When she discovered she was being taken back to her husband, she committed suicide by jumping out of the car (traveling at 60mph on a highway).

"It seems wrong for them to send her to the exact same environment which led her to make suicidal statements and that was just an unhealthy, unsafe environment for her," public defender said. "But if they don't think she's suicidal, she gets to make that decision for herself." However, both California law and the hospital's policy require that staff make reasonable attempts to notify next of kin before releasing a mental health patient. "I have a sister who lives back in Bangladesh," said her son, "and obviously they're asking me, ‘What kind of hospital releases a 60-year-old woman in the middle of the night?' If I knew she was at the hospital - 100 percent - me and my wife would have come and picked her up." His attorney added, "I think his biggest concern is not compensation, but a change in the system so this doesn't happen to someone else's mom, sister, wife."


Posted by Manya on March 11th, 2017
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Unknown date:
janee

u wos mii besdid fwen ns den u wos ns da boks n ebewun wos cri mii doen crii dems wun wot pud u ns da growwn ns da boks ged ns twubl da plec


Posted by budafli on August 23rd, 2011
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William Taylor Wild

im sorry i didnt text u that day, i was a day late. im sorry for all you went through. i love you willy-boy. ill never forget you. hope you found what you needed. RIP


Posted by tigger on August 2nd, 2013
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The 3 MPD people

For "D"; "G"; "M"; "E"; "L"; "...."; "...."; "the farm lady" and another "...." ...you know who you are...for my uncle and young "D" who died in gun deaths...for "M" and "G" who experienced sexual & physical abuses.....and the "farm lady" next door when I was six years old who hung herself in a grainery.....I wish life hadn't been soo very hard and difficult for you all. It's still unreal that 6 of you suicided...and another was extremely questionable. So much pain and hurt...wish that I could have said or done... something/anything... that would have changed this. And off course I couldn't...all I can do...is to wish you all peace...and all others visiting that finite road to...please...just don't go there. Talk to someone until you feel heard. In gentleness and caring...Jay.


Posted by Jay on January 24th, 2014
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My Brother

I would Like to say thank- you to my Biological brother who died of a cracked skull when he was a teenager, I want to thank him for standing up for me even though he knew he was going to get hurt, I was only three but I still remember him. I am 17 now and I Know he died because of me.


Posted by Januaryhorse on December 21st, 2010
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Leon

My world will never be the same, though as long as you're no longer in pain... Rest in peace young man. You are you're mummies world, she adores you more then anything. You are no longer with us, we will pray you go to the one who Blessed us with you're presence, for such a short but Joyful time. I thank you for giving me so many smiles, and so many laughs. I thank you for filling my life with Joy and happiness, in times in which I needed it most. You truely are special, and will be missed. Rest In Peace, Leon J .H.


Posted by S. on April 22nd, 2008
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Jimmy

As family we lost touch with you all when your dad died. With excitement we were reconnect in June 2010. It was then that we learned the news, after serving your country, the emotional toll, the roller coaster of depression became too much for you. Wish I had known, wish I could have made a difference. I trust you are at peace now.


Posted by cathyd on September 29th, 2011
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Ian (My brother)

I miss you so much. I don't know how I'm ever going to get over what you did. I will never forget the wonderful support you were to me...It just makes your suicide so much more confusing. I miss you. I love you.


Posted by Yasmine (Yazzy) on June 12th, 2012
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David

David I hope you have a friend in Jesus and that you have found your wings, I want you to know that I am trying to lay charges on our birth parents and that they pay for what they did to all of us. I hope I can be stong so I can get the job down because I know they need to know that what they did was not right. I love you David.


Posted by L. Lee Ramey on February 17th, 2011
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Bob

Bob you wer a graat frend an mi mis you so muschs litl thengs lwaas sem to remiind me of you liek seen you on ahoo or wen sendeen emaels owt seen yous emael adres stil in mi adres buk soemtiems mi stil ges mad that you hads go awaa liek you doeds but ofer tiems mi jus sads that mi koldnt help yous you maekeds tha dseshen to flii awaa to tha angels mi hoep you fiinlee bes at pees up thers an no loger so sads mi loev you an wil nevr forges you loev kami


Posted by Kami on December 28th, 2009
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Anyone who has died at their own hands.

Love and peace to everyone who has chosen suicide. It is never the right choice. but, i truely hope you have found peace. i love you..


Posted by Jade on April 11th, 2011
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Alex

Your a Survivor in my eyes. Now your flying with the Angels, and peaking through the Windows of the Stars looking down on me and I know your smiling. Love you Always. RIP


Posted by S. on April 25th, 2008
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A girl from my first grade

She commited suicide after our fight, we were so young, i blame myself, my dear freind live long in God's hands....


Posted by Serena (Lanfan) on December 9th, 2012
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a young woman at my college

this candle is for the woman at my school who was killed due to domestic violence.


Posted by CD on April 20th, 2012
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Luke

I loved you so much and that night it happened...i can still see you when i close my eyes...but your not the only one who died that night. you shouldn't have let them get to you, you shouldn't have listened to them...they were wrong.


Posted by Dante on September 9th, 2011
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My Mom (1954-2005)

Dear Mom, I wish we could have become better friends before you took your life. I am really going through a lot of things right now and so much of it is the same as you did. I wish I could be talking to you about my problems right now because I feel so alone. I'm gonna try to make my life different though. Btw mom.. I found out I can't have children. Love Belinda


Posted by Belinda on July 26th, 2009
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Anjali Pease

My Dear Anjali, we were so close - why you didn't reach out to me at your time of death, I'll never know. My fear is you did and I missed it somehow due to my hectic schedule of a doc program and If I did miss all the signs/ symptoms, I truly am sorry. I miss you so... I think of you often and talk to you. I hope you are in a much better place now and not suffering anymore. I have tears as I write this about you because we were so close and at doc school they tried to bring up all our email correspondence to use against me somehow...I know if you had been around you would have never let SERC be so abusive to me. I miss your smile, your infectious laugh and brilliant humor. I miss your dear friendship and all our times together. You had so much to offer. I hope to see you when it is my turn to go to heaven. I love you now and I love you forever...there is no goodbye, Anjj, only love. Your Friend forever, Millie


Posted by Millie on March 30th, 2009
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Jimmers

Dear Jim, you were the best big brother to me. I looked up to you in so many ways. I know you were always hurting, hun. I know. You were so intelligent and always had wonderful, positive energy and I miss your laughter and smile and brilliance in the world. I have a photo from the last time we saw each other. I wish you had loved yourself and could have seen how others truly saw you and loved you. I know you are in a better place my "jimmers , my bro". I hope you come to greet me when it's my turn to go. I love you know and always, no goodbyes, only love. Your lil sis, Millie


Posted by Millie on March 30th, 2009
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Steven

Sorry. I miss you, you didn't deserve to die so young, the image of your last smile is forever tattoed in my mind. 1985-1990


Posted by S. on April 25th, 2008
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Jill D.Kline

Jill, Jill, Jill, why hun? I'll never really comprehend the fact that you called me just before you took your life and we just had be arguing and you and I both were still upset w/ each other - I didn't know that I was the last call you made before you killed yourself at Michaels. I didnt know you called to say "goodbye forever" ... I was in the hospital when you called me and I thought we could make all amends over breakfast the next morning. You were just down the street from me and shortly after we'd hung up the phone I heard the PFD and All the Sirens go down my street to Michaels.

You came from one of the most prominent families around and had so much to offer this planet/ world. We were young then but I must say - no matter how difficult things were between us at times, my friendship and love for you never ended as it remains intact to this very day. The music you turned me onto still reminds me of you. And all the times we shared and all we did together remain crystal clear to this day in my mind. You showed me a brilliant way of life that obviously wasn't as free and without care as you made it seem.

I pray you know how much you meant to me and I still have the cd's you gave me. You were so smart, fun, intelligent and seemingly carefree - always trying to bust balls w/ your tf$ - that was hilarious. You were generous as well. It's been all this time and you are still in the forefront of my mind, obviously, to this day. God Bless you, Jill and I just know you are at peace now and I hope to see you when it is my turn in heaven. Again, there is no goodbyes, only love. Your friend forever, Millie


Posted by Millie on March 30th, 2009
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Sandy

Dear Sweet Sandy, You took me into your home when I had no place to go and assimilated me into all aspects of your family, for that I will always be truly grateful, appreciative and thankful. I remember all our fun times together going down to SD, camping, all the holidays, you even saved MY life that one night at Dr H's. You always believed in me...honey, why did you just give up on yourself? I'm sorry if I wasn't there enough for you - if you even wanted me around then. I regret with all my heart not being able to attend your services, for that I will always regret. I love you, Sandy-mom, no goodbyes, only love, Your xtra kid, Millie


Posted by Millie on March 30th, 2009
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My Sister, Mary Margaret Weaver

My dear sweet Mary, you never had a chance at life. You went "missing" when you were only 14 Y/O and I was 10 y/o. How I wish you knew how much I wish I could have protected you, told the authorities, stood up for you, and all I wish I had done for you and how much I love you and feel for everything I saw you endure and for all I never did see but I know of. I am so sorry I didn't / couldn't do more for you out of my own fear of my own death. I pray you don't hate me or think of me as a coward. I pray for you and think of you often and on your Birthday, Nov 4th, every year. I am so sorry...I know you are in heaven now as you are much too beautiful of a person to have been here much anyway. I will always love you. I hope you forgive me for not doing more to help you. I am truly sorry. I Love you and Miss You All The Time. 4Ever your lil sis, Millie


Posted by Millie on March 30th, 2009
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grandmother

You endured mental and physical abuse. Had your baby stolen from you when just 16 and your marriage annulled.Then were locked up in an asylum.We know now you were bipolar mpd.Your suffering ended when you jumped off a bridge when just 36.You tried to raise a family and just coudnt.You had a beautiful smile.Wish we could have met you.Your family will always miss you .


Posted by kailima on May 27th, 2013
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