Memorial Wall

Click on photos to read the stories, or select a page below.

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
~George Santayana

February 6th:
International Day of Zero Tolerance to FGM
February 6th, 2003

Female Genital Mutilation is the ritual removal of some or all of the external female genitalia. Typically carried out by a traditional circumciser using a blade or razor (with or without anaesthesia), FGM is concentrated in 27 African countries, Yemen and Iraqi Kurdistan, and found elsewhere in Asia, the Middle East, and among diaspora communities around the world. The age at which it is conducted varies from days after birth to puberty; in half the countries for which national figures are available, most girls are cut before the age of five. FGM has been outlawed or restricted in most of the countries in which it occurs, but the laws are poorly enforced. Over 130 million women and girls have experienced it.


Posted by Anonymous on February 6th, 2014

Birthday of Axl Rose
born on February 6th, 1962

Axl Rose. Songwriter and musician. Lead vocalist and only remaining original member of Guns N' Roses. Axl Rose has been voted one of the best rock singers of all time. Born into a Pentecostal family which he later described as oppressive Rose would exhibit during his late teens what a psychiatrist would conclude as evidence of pyschosis. At 26 he was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. In 1992,after undergoing past life regression therapy he uncovered memories of being sexually abused by his biological father aged 2yo. He also stated that he was physically abused by his stepfather.. A staunch believer in homeopathy and past life regression therapy he would later claim that the early CSA stopped his emotional growth at two. He was quoted as saying "..when they talk about Axl Rose being a screaming two year old they are right..."


Posted by eagle22 on October 6th, 2015

Lydia Schatz
died on February 6th, 2010

In 2007 Lydia and her sister Zariah were adopted from Liberia by a Californian family that claimed to follow the teachings about child discipline of the "No Greater Joy Ministries", a Fundamentalist Christian organization. On February 5th, 2010, 7yo Lydia and 11yo Zaria were severely beaten (aka "disciplined") for nine hours with a plumbing line, because Zariah was "being a liar and a bad influence on the 7-year-old," and Lydia had mispronounced a word during a homeschooling lesson. Zariah survived, though suffered kidney failure and other injuries. Lydia died in the hospital the next day.


Posted by Zoe on August 26th, 2011

February 7th:
Charles Dickens
born on February 7th, 1812

Oliver Twist, Dickens' second novel, is the first in the English language to centre upon an abused child (or any child for that matter). The book calls attention to various contemporary social evils, including child labour and the recruitment of children as criminals. Written more than two hundred years ago, it still provides consolation to those who were abused as children, as, while social structures and laws change, we all can relate to the general feeling of helplessness and despair of being treated unfairly, being unloved, and not knowing what have we done to cause this or how to fix it.


Posted by Manya on September 8th, 2015

February 9th:
Birthday of Alice Walker
born on February 9th, 1944

Alice Walker. Author,poet,activist. Born into a poor family and the youngest of eight children,Alice's mother pushed for her education working 11 hrs a day for $17 a week to help pay for Alice to attend college. In 1952 Alice was wounded in her right eye by a shot from a BB gun fired by one of her brothers. She would later state that he did this on purpose. She became blind in that eye due to not receiving early treatment but would go on to say that her traumatic injury allowed her to begin "..to see people and things,really to notice relationships and to learn to be patient enough to care about how they turned out.." After graduation Walker became interested in US Civil Rights Movement and became involved in voter registration,campaigns for welfare rights and various children's programs. She has written many books including Meridian ( 1976),a semiautobiographical narrative based upon her experiences in the 1960s. In it she deals with the social,racial and sexual upheavals that the Civil Rights and Black Power era produced. Her website (alicewalkersgarden.com) describes her as someone who believes "..that learning to extend the range of our compassion is activity and work available to all.." Walker also speaks of how a pregnancy and abortion during her senior year of college led her to becoming severely depressed and suicidal. This emotional trauma pushed her to write her first book of poems "Once" Walker was the first black woman to win the Pulitizer Prize


Posted by eagle22 on October 8th, 2015

February 11th:
My sister
died on February 11th, 2007

Sorry was not there for you, but could not do it anymore missed you for so many years and to have heard of your suicide hurts so bad, hopefully you have now found peace


Posted by dfk on November 2nd, 2008

Ozgecan Aslan
died on February 11th, 2015

Ozgecan was a 19yo Psychology student from Mersin, Turkey. She had loving parents (her mom returned to workforce to fund her education) and an older sister with whom Ozgecan shared love of opera. On February 11th, 2015, Ozgecan was riding a minibus home, after going to a mall with her friend. The driver assaulted her, attempted to rape, but she resisted: scratched his face with her fingernails, and used pepper spray. In response to this, the driver stabbed her multiple times, beat her to death with an iron rod, and then asked his father and his friend for help disposing of the body (which they provided).

The case resulted in nationwide outrage and protests across the country, and was described as the first mass movement for Turkish women.


Posted by Manya on November 2nd, 2015

February 12th:
Aurore Gagnon
died on February 12th, 1920

Aurore was a 10yo girl from Quebec, Canada, who was killed by her stepmom. Her birth mom died of tuberculosis, and her dad remarried. Shortly after, Aurore's younger brother was found dead and the neighbors were suspicious. In September of 1919, 10yo Aurore was hospitalized for more than a month because of a leg infection caused by physical abuse: her stepmom used to beat her with an axe handle. When Aurore was discharged, the beatings continued, and on February 12th the girl passed away from septicemia (infection from wounds entered her bloodstream and she died as a result). The story of l'enfant martyre (The Child Martyr) received great attention in the media and Aurore became an icon of Quebec sociological and popular culture.


Posted by Manya on February 27th, 2016

James Bulger
died on February 12th, 1993

James Patrick Bulger was a 2yo boy from UK who was abducted at a local shopping centre, tortured, and murdered by two ten-year-old boys, the youngest convicted murderers in modern English history. The boys were released from custody when they turned 18, but one of them, Jon Venables, had committed various offences since, including child porn distribution. The case has prompted widespread debate on the issue of how to handle young offenders when they are sentenced or released from custody.


Posted by Manya on April 18th, 2014

February 13th:
Tobi Joan Doyle
died on February 13th, 2016

2yo Tobi from Colorado, USA, loved dancing, music, Minnie Mouse and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Her mom and mom's boyfriend used to hit her, and send her on timeouts so long that she "could barely stand" by the time they were done. Her great aunt felt this was "overboard", and her babysitter even reported excessive discipline. Toby has been to the hospital for her injuries, but was sent back home because the doctors assumed she just fell down the stairs. Three weeks later, Toby died of blunt trauma to the head. Her mom was charged with child abuse resulting in death.


Posted by Manya on February 12th, 2017

February 16th:
Blake Litton
died on February 16th, 2012

3yo Blake from Missouri, USA, lived with his mom, little sister, and mom's boyfriend. One evening their mom was at work at a nursing home, and the stepdad took Faith and Blake to Walmart. Blake soiled his pants, and the man "lost it," as he later texted Blake's mom. He beat Blake so badly that the boy's body was covered in cuts and bruises, he had a lacerated liver, and a ruptured blood vessel in his brain. Once the man calmed down and realized Blake was seriously hurt, he took both kids to their mom's work, saying that he loves her but he can't call ambulance for Blake because he'll end up in prison for life. Blake's mom told him to take Blake to emergency room anyway and went back to work. The man drove off with both kids, stopped on a highway and called 911, saying that Blake was just hit by a car. By that time (5AM) the mom finished her shift and arrived at the scene as she was walking home. When hospital staff saw Blake's injuries, they called the police. His sister also had cuts, bruises, and a broken wrist.

Blake died the next day, the man was imprisoned for life, mom is still pending trial on murder charges (because Blake might have survived had she called 911 immediately). Blake's little sister lives with her grandparents, and was the one who told the story of what happened, because she saw it all: how Blake soiled his pants at Walmart, how the man was punching Blake in the bathroom, how he drove her and her unconscious brother to mom's work in the middle of the night, how mom left them with him and went back to work, and how the man staged the hit-and-run that never happened.


Posted by Manya on July 18th, 2016

February 18th:
Dwelle Jerome Clark
died on February 18th, 2014

55yo Dwelle Clark from New Jersey, USA, was stabbed to death by his ex-girlfriend. He caught her rummaging through his mother's handbag, asked her to stop it, she started hitting him with a walking cane, he left the room, and she followed him with a butcher knife and stabbed him in the chest. Mr Clark died three days later. Their daughter said, "My mom is a drug addict, but she hasn’t been using lately because she’s trying to get herself together. In a situation like that, it doesn’t take much for (an addict) to snap. This is not the first time my mom has snapped like this." "I really don’t know what to think," she added. "It’s just a sad situation. She’s locked up and he’s no longer here." The woman has stabbed her previous boyfriend to death in 1980, and served prison time for it. "I’m guilty," she said. "So what else can I do?"


Posted by Manya on March 27th, 2016

February 19th:
Jeff Akers
died on February 19th, 2008

50yo Jeff Akers from UK was stabbed to death in a public bathroom because he was gay. Mr Akers worked as an accountant and volunteered for HIV/AIDS charities, counseling other gay people who had contacted the disease. "Guys like Jeff seem few and far between... he was gentle but firm when needed, kind and giving, non-judgmental and while he had a serious side he could make you laugh and brighten the moment with his wicked sense of humor. Jeff had a wealth of experience he never hesitated to share and encourage others with if called on for help. He took so little when giving so much to those around him." David Jack, friend.


Posted by Manya on June 26th, 2016

February 20th:
Steve Rhinehart
died on February 20th, 2012

62yo Mr Rhinehart, a retired contractor and farmer from Georgia, USA, had a wife, two grown kids, and a cattle dog Sadie. His 36yo son struggled with depression, anxiety, and substance abuse, and moved back with his parents. As time went on, Mr Rhinehart insisted that he move out, because he would neither get a job nor receive treatment. The son felt his mom alone would take care of him, wanted them to divorce, and when that didn't happen, he killed his father. "I just pulled the gun out, continued to walk up the hill and around the corner and met him and just shot him, right in the chest," he said.


Posted by Manya on July 29th, 2016

February 21st:
Savannah Hardin
died on February 21st, 2012

Savannah was a 9yo girl from Alabama, USA, ran to death by her grandmother over some fundraiser candy. Savannah took it from another girl on a schoolbus, ate it, left the wrapper at her seat, but told the bus driver she didn't do it. The bus driver told her grandmother. "I should have paid for those candy bars," the driver said in retrospect. Grandmother called the mother of the girl Savannah took the candy from, offering to pay for it and saying that Savannah is in a big trouble. The woman spoke to her daughter to get the story straight and called right back because she was concerned with grandmother's tone of voice; "I didn’t want Savannah to get in trouble for something that didn’t happen," she said.

The next day Savannah didn't take the bus to school, and the bus driver came by their house in the afternoon to check on the girl. Grandmother said Savannah was "gonna learn" not to lie and that she would "run until I tell her to stop.". Neighbors across the street saw Savannah running for more than three hours, while carrying firewood sticks, with her grandmother shouting: "I didn’t tell you to stop!" They called 911 later on that evening, when Savannah was on the ground, vomiting, as her grandmother slapped her and shouted: “Get up! I better not have to tell you again!” Savannah had a seizure, was hospitalized, and died three days later from extreme physical exertion. Her grandmother was convicted of capital murder. "I wish I had done something a lot sooner," said the neighbor.


Posted by Manya on March 5th, 2016

February 25th:
Kevin
died on February 25th, 2009

Your suicide left us with so much hurt and pain. I hope you can forgive me for starting it all. RIP my brother. I love you now and for always.


Posted by Mickie2012 on August 17th, 2012

Victoria Climbie
died on February 25th, 2000

In November of 1998 6yo Victoria from Ivory Coast came to France to stay with her aunt (whom she never met before), so that the aunt would get social security benefits, and Victoria would get an education. Things didn't work out with social security in France, and next April they moved to UK. Victoria was abused and neglected, and numerous people saw that, but she never got the help she needed. For example, workers at social security offices (which the aunt frequently visited to apply for benefits) said that Victoria "looked like a child from an ActionAid advertisement", but they assumed it was an attempt to "persuade the authorities to hand out money." Doctors at the hospitals Victoria was taken to for her injuries reported the problem to CPS, but the aunt said Victoria had scabies, and CPS cancelled the follow. In August a social worker spoke with Victoria on four separate occasions for a total of less than 30 minutes (so about seven and a half minutes each time). This social worker visited their flat three more times between December and January, but received no answer and assumed they must have moved back to France. In February CPS wrote to the aunt saying that if she doesn't respond, they'll close the case. A week later they closed the case; it was February 25th, the same day that Victoria died.

8yo Victoria was forced to sleep in a bathtub in her own excrements, had been burnt with cigarettes, tied up for periods of longer than 24 hours, and hit with bike chains, hammers and wires. She died of hypothermia, multiple organ failure, and malnutrition, and had 128 separate injuries and scars on her body at the time of death. During her life in Britain, Victoria was known to four social services departments, three housing departments, two child protection police teams, two hospitals, an NSPCC centre, and a few local churches. Her death led to a public inquiry and produced major changes in child protection policies in the United Kingdom.


Posted by Manya on March 18th, 2016

Unknown date:
Dorothy Rowe

Dorothy Rowe Australian born psychologist and author.Main area of interest is depression. Dr Rowe was born during the Great Depression to an abusive mother. After leaving her faithless husband she emigrated to the UK where she has worked ever since. She has worked tirelessly in her field and has offered huge insights into the way women view themselves and how society has helped shaped that view. Through her treatment of the depressed patient she has come to reject the medical model of mental illness preferring instead to work with "personal construct theory" She believes depression is a result of beliefs that do not able a person to live comfortably with themselves or the world. She is the author of many self help books on this and other subjects.


Posted by eagle22 on October 12th, 2015

Birthday of Waris Dirie

Waris Dirie Somali model,author,actress and activist. 1997-2003 served as UN Special Ambassador for the elimination of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) and also founded the Desert Flower Foundation to offer help to girls and to campaign for an end to this practice. At the height of her modelling career Waris was brave enough to speak of her own FGM at around aged 5. She has also spoken of fleeing an arranged marriage at 13 yo and of women's rights. She has ceaselessly campaigned for a better awareness of just how FGM harms women and girls and has written an autobiography "Desert Flower"


Posted by eagle22 on October 7th, 2015

Birthday of Kim Noble

Kim Noble British artist. From the age of 14 she spent 20 yrs in and out of hospitals until she made contact with Dr. Valerie Sinason and Dr. Rob Hale at the Tavistock and Portman Clinics. After beginning therapy in 1995 she was diagnosed with DID. As part of this therapy she developed an interest in art and although she has no formal training Kim and 13 of her personalities started painting. Her 12 artists have distinct styles and themes of their own and she and they have gone on to have many exhibitions. Kim herself has no recollection of the abuse she suffered but clearly her alter artists know. Kim has spoken about her DID via the media. Please be advised to exercise caution in viewing her art work as some may find it disturbing and triggering.


Posted by eagle22 on October 7th, 2015

The 3 MPD people

For "D"; "G"; "M"; "E"; "L"; "...."; "...."; "the farm lady" and another "...." ...you know who you are...for my uncle and young "D" who died in gun deaths...for "M" and "G" who experienced sexual & physical abuses.....and the "farm lady" next door when I was six years old who hung herself in a grainery.....I wish life hadn't been soo very hard and difficult for you all. It's still unreal that 6 of you suicided...and another was extremely questionable. So much pain and hurt...wish that I could have said or done... something/anything... that would have changed this. And off course I couldn't...all I can do...is to wish you all peace...and all others visiting that finite road to...please...just don't go there. Talk to someone until you feel heard. In gentleness and caring...Jay.


Posted by Jay on January 24th, 2014

William Taylor Wild

im sorry i didnt text u that day, i was a day late. im sorry for all you went through. i love you willy-boy. ill never forget you. hope you found what you needed. RIP


Posted by tigger on August 2nd, 2013

grandmother

You endured mental and physical abuse. Had your baby stolen from you when just 16 and your marriage annulled.Then were locked up in an asylum.We know now you were bipolar mpd.Your suffering ended when you jumped off a bridge when just 36.You tried to raise a family and just coudnt.You had a beautiful smile.Wish we could have met you.Your family will always miss you .


Posted by kailima on May 27th, 2013

A girl from my first grade

She commited suicide after our fight, we were so young, i blame myself, my dear freind live long in God's hands....


Posted by Serena (Lanfan) on December 9th, 2012

Ian (My brother)

I miss you so much. I don't know how I'm ever going to get over what you did. I will never forget the wonderful support you were to me...It just makes your suicide so much more confusing. I miss you. I love you.


Posted by Yasmine (Yazzy) on June 12th, 2012

a young woman at my college

this candle is for the woman at my school who was killed due to domestic violence.


Posted by CD on April 20th, 2012

Jimmy

As family we lost touch with you all when your dad died. With excitement we were reconnect in June 2010. It was then that we learned the news, after serving your country, the emotional toll, the roller coaster of depression became too much for you. Wish I had known, wish I could have made a difference. I trust you are at peace now.


Posted by cathyd on September 29th, 2011

Luke

I loved you so much and that night it happened...i can still see you when i close my eyes...but your not the only one who died that night. you shouldn't have let them get to you, you shouldn't have listened to them...they were wrong.


Posted by Dante on September 9th, 2011

janee

u wos mii besdid fwen ns den u wos ns da boks n ebewun wos cri mii doen crii dems wun wot pud u ns da growwn ns da boks ged ns twubl da plec


Posted by budafli on August 23rd, 2011

Anyone who has died at their own hands.

Love and peace to everyone who has chosen suicide. It is never the right choice. but, i truely hope you have found peace. i love you..


Posted by Jade on April 11th, 2011

David

David I hope you have a friend in Jesus and that you have found your wings, I want you to know that I am trying to lay charges on our birth parents and that they pay for what they did to all of us. I hope I can be stong so I can get the job down because I know they need to know that what they did was not right. I love you David.


Posted by L. Lee Ramey on February 17th, 2011

My Brother

I would Like to say thank- you to my Biological brother who died of a cracked skull when he was a teenager, I want to thank him for standing up for me even though he knew he was going to get hurt, I was only three but I still remember him. I am 17 now and I Know he died because of me.


Posted by Januaryhorse on December 21st, 2010

Bob

Bob you wer a graat frend an mi mis you so muschs litl thengs lwaas sem to remiind me of you liek seen you on ahoo or wen sendeen emaels owt seen yous emael adres stil in mi adres buk soemtiems mi stil ges mad that you hads go awaa liek you doeds but ofer tiems mi jus sads that mi koldnt help yous you maekeds tha dseshen to flii awaa to tha angels mi hoep you fiinlee bes at pees up thers an no loger so sads mi loev you an wil nevr forges you loev kami


Posted by Kami on December 28th, 2009

My Mom (1954-2005)

Dear Mom, I wish we could have become better friends before you took your life. I am really going through a lot of things right now and so much of it is the same as you did. I wish I could be talking to you about my problems right now because I feel so alone. I'm gonna try to make my life different though. Btw mom.. I found out I can't have children. Love Belinda


Posted by Belinda on July 26th, 2009

Jimmers

Dear Jim, you were the best big brother to me. I looked up to you in so many ways. I know you were always hurting, hun. I know. You were so intelligent and always had wonderful, positive energy and I miss your laughter and smile and brilliance in the world. I have a photo from the last time we saw each other. I wish you had loved yourself and could have seen how others truly saw you and loved you. I know you are in a better place my "jimmers , my bro". I hope you come to greet me when it's my turn to go. I love you know and always, no goodbyes, only love. Your lil sis, Millie


Posted by Millie on March 30th, 2009

Jill D.Kline

Jill, Jill, Jill, why hun? I'll never really comprehend the fact that you called me just before you took your life and we just had be arguing and you and I both were still upset w/ each other - I didn't know that I was the last call you made before you killed yourself at Michaels. I didnt know you called to say "goodbye forever" ... I was in the hospital when you called me and I thought we could make all amends over breakfast the next morning. You were just down the street from me and shortly after we'd hung up the phone I heard the PFD and All the Sirens go down my street to Michaels.

You came from one of the most prominent families around and had so much to offer this planet/ world. We were young then but I must say - no matter how difficult things were between us at times, my friendship and love for you never ended as it remains intact to this very day. The music you turned me onto still reminds me of you. And all the times we shared and all we did together remain crystal clear to this day in my mind. You showed me a brilliant way of life that obviously wasn't as free and without care as you made it seem.

I pray you know how much you meant to me and I still have the cd's you gave me. You were so smart, fun, intelligent and seemingly carefree - always trying to bust balls w/ your tf$ - that was hilarious. You were generous as well. It's been all this time and you are still in the forefront of my mind, obviously, to this day. God Bless you, Jill and I just know you are at peace now and I hope to see you when it is my turn in heaven. Again, there is no goodbyes, only love. Your friend forever, Millie


Posted by Millie on March 30th, 2009

Sandy

Dear Sweet Sandy, You took me into your home when I had no place to go and assimilated me into all aspects of your family, for that I will always be truly grateful, appreciative and thankful. I remember all our fun times together going down to SD, camping, all the holidays, you even saved MY life that one night at Dr H's. You always believed in me...honey, why did you just give up on yourself? I'm sorry if I wasn't there enough for you - if you even wanted me around then. I regret with all my heart not being able to attend your services, for that I will always regret. I love you, Sandy-mom, no goodbyes, only love, Your xtra kid, Millie


Posted by Millie on March 30th, 2009

My Sister, Mary Margaret Weaver

My dear sweet Mary, you never had a chance at life. You went "missing" when you were only 14 Y/O and I was 10 y/o. How I wish you knew how much I wish I could have protected you, told the authorities, stood up for you, and all I wish I had done for you and how much I love you and feel for everything I saw you endure and for all I never did see but I know of. I am so sorry I didn't / couldn't do more for you out of my own fear of my own death. I pray you don't hate me or think of me as a coward. I pray for you and think of you often and on your Birthday, Nov 4th, every year. I am so sorry...I know you are in heaven now as you are much too beautiful of a person to have been here much anyway. I will always love you. I hope you forgive me for not doing more to help you. I am truly sorry. I Love you and Miss You All The Time. 4Ever your lil sis, Millie


Posted by Millie on March 30th, 2009

Anjali Pease

My Dear Anjali, we were so close - why you didn't reach out to me at your time of death, I'll never know. My fear is you did and I missed it somehow due to my hectic schedule of a doc program and If I did miss all the signs/ symptoms, I truly am sorry. I miss you so... I think of you often and talk to you. I hope you are in a much better place now and not suffering anymore. I have tears as I write this about you because we were so close and at doc school they tried to bring up all our email correspondence to use against me somehow...I know if you had been around you would have never let SERC be so abusive to me. I miss your smile, your infectious laugh and brilliant humor. I miss your dear friendship and all our times together. You had so much to offer. I hope to see you when it is my turn to go to heaven. I love you now and I love you forever...there is no goodbye, Anjj, only love. Your Friend forever, Millie


Posted by Millie on March 30th, 2009

Steven

Sorry. I miss you, you didn't deserve to die so young, the image of your last smile is forever tattoed in my mind. 1985-1990


Posted by S. on April 25th, 2008

Alex

Your a Survivor in my eyes. Now your flying with the Angels, and peaking through the Windows of the Stars looking down on me and I know your smiling. Love you Always. RIP


Posted by S. on April 25th, 2008

Leon

My world will never be the same, though as long as you're no longer in pain... Rest in peace young man. You are you're mummies world, she adores you more then anything. You are no longer with us, we will pray you go to the one who Blessed us with you're presence, for such a short but Joyful time. I thank you for giving me so many smiles, and so many laughs. I thank you for filling my life with Joy and happiness, in times in which I needed it most. You truely are special, and will be missed. Rest In Peace, Leon J .H.


Posted by S. on April 22nd, 2008


 

There are some defeats more triumphant than victories.
~ Michel de Montaigne
This page was last updated on February 12th, 2017
© 2008-2017 Fort Refuge. Please don't reproduce without permission.