Abuse Survivors Library
13 Articles About Domestic Abuse
i.e. abuse inflicted on one adult by another, while both share the same household. For example, physical abuse by an intimate partner, or abuse of elderly parent by their adult child.Basics, Hotlines, & Helplinks
Domestic violence can feel chaotic, unpredictable, and unique - but it really isn't. It tends to be a repeat cycle: violence is followed by excuses, honeymoon, tension build-up, and then violence again. If you're trapped in it - you aren't alone, and there's a way out. Read about how it works, who perpetrates it, why victims get trapped in it, and what are your options.Cycle of abuse
The cycle consists of four main phases that repeat over and over, alternating abuse with reconciliations. This on-and-off nature of violence allows it to gradually intensify over the time without you noticing it, like a frog in a pot of boiling water.Emotional Abuse
Top tactics emotional abusers use to hurt and intimidate their victims, with examples and explanations.Financial Abuse
It's painful to admit, embarrassing to talk about, and very confusing. However, avoiding the problem doesn't solve it; the more you know about financial abuse, the better protected you are.What if I stay?
Leaving an abusive relationship or staying in it has to be your choice. We're simply listing common caveats so that you can consider your options, weigh pros and cons, and consciously choose what you feel would be in your best interest.Emergency escape plan
Being involved in a violent relationship is kind of like living on top of a volcano. Whatever your long-term plan is (staying or leaving), it's crucial to ensure your basic safety in the here and now, while you're still sharing the house with your abuser and the volcano can erupt any minute.Why do I keep going back?
It's no secret that many victims of domestic violence go back to their abusive partners, or pick new ones that act just the same. Understanding why it's happening could help you prevent it from repeating over and over like a broken record.Leaving for good
Aside from making the decision to leave, you also need to figure out where are you going to go. It's not the time to close your eyes and take a leap, it's the time to think and plan, with meticulous attention to detail. The better prepared you are, the more likely you are to succeed.Stockholm Syndrome
Stockholm syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where the victim bonds with the perpetrator, fears those who try to rescue him/her, and believes the perpetrator is in fact protecting him/her. The page analyzes the sources of this syndrome: love towards the abuser, perceived threat to survival, isolation, perceived inability to escape, cognitive dissonance, etc.The Art of Emotional Abuse
One survivor's perspective on what emotional abuse feels like.Growing Up In A DV Environment
Domestic Violence through the eyes of a child - survivors perspective on what it felt like to be surrounded by family violence as a child. What conclusions about relationships, disagreements, and violence she drew from this experience. And how she can now compare it to how things work in healthy homes.9 ways to be accountable when you've been abusive
Nobody wants to be "an abuser." No one wants to admit that they have hurt someone, especially when so many of us have been hurt ourselves. But the truth is that abusers and survivors of abuse do not exist, and have never existed, in a dichotomy: Sometimes, hurt people hurt people. When we are able to admit that the capacity to harm lies within ourselves - within us all - we become capable of radically transforming the conversation around abuse.If you're accused of domestic violence
Majority of DV cases are repeat offenses: the person continues doing what got them in trouble in the first place, be it beating up on their partner or naively continuing to trust them instead of getting a lawyer. This page lists ten things to consider, to help prevent this from happening to you, whether the accusation is false or not.
Domestic violence can feel chaotic, unpredictable, and unique - but it really isn't. It tends to be a repeat cycle: violence is followed by excuses, honeymoon, tension build-up, and then violence again. If you're trapped in it - you aren't alone, and there's a way out. Read about how it works, who perpetrates it, why victims get trapped in it, and what are your options.Cycle of abuse
The cycle consists of four main phases that repeat over and over, alternating abuse with reconciliations. This on-and-off nature of violence allows it to gradually intensify over the time without you noticing it, like a frog in a pot of boiling water.Emotional Abuse
Top tactics emotional abusers use to hurt and intimidate their victims, with examples and explanations.Financial Abuse
It's painful to admit, embarrassing to talk about, and very confusing. However, avoiding the problem doesn't solve it; the more you know about financial abuse, the better protected you are.What if I stay?
Leaving an abusive relationship or staying in it has to be your choice. We're simply listing common caveats so that you can consider your options, weigh pros and cons, and consciously choose what you feel would be in your best interest.Emergency escape plan
Being involved in a violent relationship is kind of like living on top of a volcano. Whatever your long-term plan is (staying or leaving), it's crucial to ensure your basic safety in the here and now, while you're still sharing the house with your abuser and the volcano can erupt any minute.Why do I keep going back?
It's no secret that many victims of domestic violence go back to their abusive partners, or pick new ones that act just the same. Understanding why it's happening could help you prevent it from repeating over and over like a broken record.Leaving for good
Aside from making the decision to leave, you also need to figure out where are you going to go. It's not the time to close your eyes and take a leap, it's the time to think and plan, with meticulous attention to detail. The better prepared you are, the more likely you are to succeed.Stockholm Syndrome
Stockholm syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where the victim bonds with the perpetrator, fears those who try to rescue him/her, and believes the perpetrator is in fact protecting him/her. The page analyzes the sources of this syndrome: love towards the abuser, perceived threat to survival, isolation, perceived inability to escape, cognitive dissonance, etc.The Art of Emotional Abuse
One survivor's perspective on what emotional abuse feels like.Growing Up In A DV Environment
Domestic Violence through the eyes of a child - survivors perspective on what it felt like to be surrounded by family violence as a child. What conclusions about relationships, disagreements, and violence she drew from this experience. And how she can now compare it to how things work in healthy homes.9 ways to be accountable when you've been abusive
Nobody wants to be "an abuser." No one wants to admit that they have hurt someone, especially when so many of us have been hurt ourselves. But the truth is that abusers and survivors of abuse do not exist, and have never existed, in a dichotomy: Sometimes, hurt people hurt people. When we are able to admit that the capacity to harm lies within ourselves - within us all - we become capable of radically transforming the conversation around abuse.If you're accused of domestic violence
Majority of DV cases are repeat offenses: the person continues doing what got them in trouble in the first place, be it beating up on their partner or naively continuing to trust them instead of getting a lawyer. This page lists ten things to consider, to help prevent this from happening to you, whether the accusation is false or not.
This page was last updated on August 31st, 2020
© 2008-2021 Fort Refuge. Please don't reproduce without permission.
© 2008-2021 Fort Refuge. Please don't reproduce without permission.
Child Abuse (15)
I am 2 years away from abuser now. I feel that feeling of anxiety in the pit of my stomach, just revisiting these Issues. But, that tells me I still have work to do. I hope in my process of healing, it will help someone too. Guess thats the whole idea! ~Bo248
