FORT REFUGE SURVIVORS LIBRARY

WHAT IS ABUSE:

There are various forms of abuse. The common denominator is that we need to recognize and stop/escape it ASAP. Articles below describe different kinds of abuse, their warning signs, who can be a victim, who are perpetrators, why it happens, and information on how to escape - hotlines, helplinks, further reading, etc.

• Child Abuse
  • Definitions, Hotlines, and Helplinks - list of warning signs for all the different types of child abuse, and links to various child abuse resources.
  • Child Sexual Abuse - warning signs, statistics, tips on how to talk to a child if you suspect they're being abused, etc.
  • Covert Incest - another form of child abuse by parents, where incestuous relationship is emotional rather than physical.
• Emotional & Verbal Abuse
  • Definition, Hotlines, & Helplinks
  • Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers - 25 tactics narcissistic mothers use to instill emotional abuse on their children (young or adult)
• Rape & Sexual Assault
  • Definition, Hotlines, & Helplinks
  • Multiple Victimization of Rape Victims - article dealing with possible causes of this phenomenon.
• Domestic Violence
  • Basics, Hotlines, & Helplinks - article on breaking through silence and denial, admitting there's a problem, and next steps.
  • Why Do Women Stay? - fear, lack of awareness, lack of resources, unsuppotive responses from family/friends/social services, etc.
  • Safety Planning for Battered Women - strategic safety planning, risk appraisal, identification of resources and protective factors, checklist, etc.
  • The Stockholm Syndrome - love towards the abuser, perceived threat to survival, isolation, perceived inability to escape, cognitive dissonance, etc.
• Ritual Abuse
  • Definition & Helplinks
  • More Info and Tips for Hotline Workers - what is ritual abuse, who is involved, why it continues, what are the symptoms, etc.
  • Common Programming of Satanic Ritualistic Abuse - 20 most common programs such as SI, lethal, cult control, and therapy interference programs.
  • Color Programming and DID - description of how some RA survivors associate their alters with particular colors due to programming.
  • RA Color Programming - another version of color-alter association, by a different survivor.
  • Illuminati, Monarch Programming - very long and detailed, please use extreme caution; don't read if in a sensitive place.
• Male Survivors
  • Hotlines & Helplinks for men and boys who have been raped, assaulted, or otherwise victimized.

COPING WITH AFTERMATH:

Once abuse is over, things are rarely "back to normal" right away. Trauma causes various problems to one's psyche, and abuse is an especially damaging type of trauma, so our lives might never be the same. Articles below address problems that many abuse survivors are facing today.

• Suicide
  • Hotlines & Helplinks
  • Facts - suicide statistics and tips on supporting someone in a suicide crisis.
• Self Injury
  • Hotline & Helplinks
  • Self Injury Myths and Facts - what is SI, why does it make people feel better, who are the people who SI, aren't they psychotic, is SI a failed suicide attempt, what can be done for a person who SI's, etc.
  • Bill Of Rights for Those Who Self Injure - ten basic rights such as humane treatment, unbiased careproviders, validation of feelings behind SI, etc
  • Distractions - over 60 things you can do to battle an SI urge.
• Addictions
  • Hotlines & helplinks for drugs, alcohol, food and sexual addictions
  • Internet Gaming Addictions - article explaining why certain online games are so addictive
• Eating Disorders
  • Hotlines & Helplinks - basic article on recognizing an eating disorder, and a list of hotlines and websites that might help.
  • Definitions of Eating Disorders - what is anorexia, what is bulimia, what is compulsive eating.
• DID/MPD
  • Info & Links - basic article on what is DID/MPD and how do we live with it, and some helpful links.
  • DID Facts - what is dissociation, what causes it, what's a flashback, multiplicity, alter, co-consciousness, and integration.
  • Dissociative Spectrum - an overview of diagnosis and treatment.
  • Persecutory Alters - who are they, what are their origin, etiology, development, and functions, and how to treat them.
  • Shades of a Girl - creative writing by Fort Refuge member describing what DID is like to them.
• Depression
  • Staying Happy in Hopeless Situations - keeping a healthy perspective, handling fear of the unknown, channeling your focus out of the loops of hopelessness and despair, focusing on a way out, finding faulty thinking patterns, accepting the facts, etc
  • Managing Depression - how to challenge your negative thinking, get out of bed, focus on the task at hand, use positive affirmations, and reach out for support
• Anxiety
  • Managing Persistent Fears & Anxieties - divide the upcoming task into a series of manageable steps, distract when you're overwhelmed, stop negative thoughts, use positive affirmations, take it one day at a time, and reach out for help
  • Managing Fear of the Unknown - remember that you can't predict future with certainty: things might happen differently than you fear; take it one day at a time, focus on today instead of next month; visualize the upcoming event turning out ok, take your mind off your anxiety for a while - worrying about a problem can make it even worse.
  • Never Lose Hope - don't give up on managing your fears and anxieties - the solution might be just around the corner; challenge your negative thinking, get out of bed, face one problem at a time, and reach out for help

LIVING AS A SURVIVOR:

Self-Help articles, book recommendations, poetry & artwork by survivors, child abuse survivor stories, etc.

• Self-Help
  • Basics 1: Your Needs And Wants - the difference between our needs and wants: what are needs, how are feelings created, need for attention, four kinds of attention, discomfort, triggers for feelings, feelings we create.
  • Basics 2: Your Natural Feelings - Sadness, Anger, Fear, Excitement, and Joy - how to recognize them and what to do about them
  • Basics 3: Your Unnatural Feelings - Guilt, Shame, Imagined Fear - what real feelings do they cover? And how do we get in touch with what's under the surface? And what do we do about it?
  • Problem Solving 1: Roadblocks - Do you honestly want to solve this problem? Do you want to blame someone instead of solving it? Is it that you really can't or only believe so?
  • Problem Solving 2: Defining The Problem - arguments about everything, arguments that go nowhere, and the power of the moment - the real problem solving
  • Problem Solving 3: Six Aspects Of A Problem - Does the problem exist? Is it significant? Is it solvable? What's my part in it? What's your part in it? What's the role of the situation?
  • Non-PD Recycle Bin & Tool Box - two very extensive lists of approaches to personality disordered individuals: things that work and things that don't
  • Internet safety - a basic list of most common do's and don't's of online safety, as well as some very helpful links if you are being harrassed/stalked by someone online
  • The Karpman Drama Triangle - The purpose of the Victim, Rescuer, Persecutor Game, why do we play it, how to break free, how to spot emotional manipulation patterns in others and yourself, difference between drama and being an adult.
• Professional Help
  • Hiring & Firing a Therapist - forty questions that will help you evaluate your therapist and decide whether it's worth it continuing with them
  • Recovery Bill of Rights - your right to personal authority over your life, boundaries, healthy communication, etc
  • Dental Help For Survivors - 23 things you and your dentist can do to make your dental appointments more comfortable for you
• Poetry submitted by Fort Refuge members.
• Art submitted by Fort Refuge members.
• Books - recommended literature on different types of abuse and healing from it.

SUPPORTERS:

• Resources for Family Members, Significant Others, & Friends:
  
  • Links
  • When Someone You Know Struggles with Fears, Anxiety, & Stress
  • Suicide - tips on supporting someone in a suicide crisis.

If you are looking for a topic or resource that is not covered in this list, our forums contain information inside as well.
Please feel free to contact us for questions, ideas or information you would like to see added. Email us at: admin@fortrefuge.com
Please remember that we do not necessarily endorse nor do we guarantee, or can we be held responsible for the information within these links or be liable for what you choose to do with it. Please follow the advice of your doctor, counselor, therapist or other trained professional.

Stay Safe!