INTERNET SAFETY RESOURCES

Running this online support group for a few years, we've witnessed a few patterns that some of our members engage in that could potentially compromise their safety. Please do read the below information - you do not want to be stalked/harrassed online. If you already are being harrassed - skip to helplinks.

Internet is a great place for survivors of abuse - you can find tons of information, you can communicate with other survivors, you can ask questions and get answers - and you don't have to expose your identity to do this.

However, internet is also a great place for not-so-nice people. Outright predators, perverts, bored teenagers wanting to pull pranks on you, mentally challenged individuals with their own agenda - plenty of people are out there for a whole other set of reasons.

There's no need to feel paranoid and withdraw from internet support. But there are a few basic things you can do to protect yourself from trouble:

DON'T:	DO:
Don't share personally identifiable info or contact details Example: jane.doe@yahoo.com	Do open an anonymous email/skype/msn/etc for people you've only met online Example: cautious.girl@yahoo.com
Don't share anything with someone you've just met 20min ago Example: hey, nice to meet you, sure, you can skype me, here's my nick.	Do limit your contact with them to the site where you met, till you know them better Example: nah, let's hold it off with skype for now, but we can talk here in this chatroom tomorrow, I'm usually online after 8PM.
Don't use the same nick on all the sites you join Example: registering as "CautiousGirl" on Fort, on DeviantArt, on MySpace, and on LinkedIn. It's a disaster - your artsy friends can google your nickname and discover your abuse history.	Do come up with a different nick for each site you register at Example: use "CautiousGirl" on MySpace, "Survivor101" on Fort, "ArtAddict" on DeviantArt, etc. This way your accounts stay separate, and nobody on Fort will see your family pics from MySpace.
Don't argue with anyone about anything Example: hey, why do you say women are dumb, that's offensive, take your words back!	Do alert moderators, ignore the person, or leave the situation. Why waste your nerves on someone you don't know and don't care to know? Example: oh. Alrighty then. How is everyone else doing today?
Don't engage in any conversation that's making you uncomfortable. You are not on duty here, you don't have to support everyone who asks you to. Example: and then he tied me up and proceeded to rape me in this particular manner... - omg, I'm so sorry to hear that, what happened next?	Do keep your boundaries, you don't know if the person talking is indeed a survivor in crisis or a pervert getting off on this. Example: and then he tied me up and... - ouch, that sounds intense - do you have a therapist to discuss this with?
Don't always assume that what your new friend says is necessarily true Example: I'm so sorry to hear your husband is physically abusing you, feel free to come stay at my house if you want.	Do keep in mind that they might be lying, for attention, personal gain, or any other odd reason. Example: wow, no wonder you feel trapped, did you try calling shelters?
Don't forget the reason you are on a site. Fort is for support regarding abuse. DeviantArt is for sharing your artwork. FaceBook is for staying in touch with friends and family. Keep communication relevant to the reason you joined the site you're at. Example: I'm 19yo female, 5.8, 120lbs, blond, wearing my bathrobe and pink slippers.	Do avoid irrelevant topics: Example: umm, what does your hair color have to do with the book we're discussing?
Don't get involved in those really "close" online relationships where you chat with one person for hours every day. Example: I missed you on MSN yesterday, where were you, I was worried...	Do focus on your 3D life first and foremost, and keep online contacts within reasonable boundaries, especially if they start getting dramatic. Example: hey, nice to see ya again, sorry to hear you're struggling, but I was planning to spend the night with my kids, stay safe, hope to chat soon!

Below is a list of links dealing with internet safety:

WiredSafety.org - real help from real people.
www.grc.com - SpinRite, A resource place to test you computer's security
Knights of Kindness - what helped me, priceless resource
WHO@ (Working to Halt Online Abuse): A collection of resources, articles and information.
Perverted Justice : This is a nonprofit organization that sets up sting operations to catch online sexual predators.
Cyberangels: World's oldest and largest internet safety organization. Offers support groups for victims of cyberstalking and harassment.
Cyberstalking and harassment FAQ
www.ndvh.org: Extensive information about cyberstalking and cyber harassment - one-to-one help and a self-help interactive guide and tutorial.

If you're in the opposite situation, and are worried about a 3D predator monitoring your online activity, go here to see suggestions for keeping your computer activity secret from an abuser who may share your computer.

Computer use can be easily monitored by certain hidden programs such as key stroke loggers. It is impossible to completely hide your activity if the pursuer is insistent. Please remember that it may also arouse suspicion if your computer is "always" clean. You may want to consider using a public access computer such as one at your local library.

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