• Hey :) Just a reminder that Fort community is not equipped to discuss current ongoing abuse. If you're currently involved in an abusive relationship - please log out, contact hotlines and/or alternative sites (the Help tab on top of any page lists a few of each), and feel free to come back to Fort once you're safe and stable. Be safe.

Rules

Joined
Jun 26, 2020
Messages
1
#1
Hi all, it's says in the rules of use not to talk about your relationships and only about yourself. I don't understand that one.
 

Manya

here an there
Admin
Joined
Jul 30, 2009
Messages
17,331
#2
hey Murr :hi

the relationships part means that we're a trauma site, not a relationships site. we have been abused in the past, are not being abused now, and come here to talk of how the past trauma affected us, and how we're coping with the aftermath of it. for example: flashbacks, nightmares, lack of trust, lack of assertiveness, poor self-esteem, depression, etc. we are not here to discuss other people (e.g. "i wonder if my neighbor is a psychopath"), or to brainstorm relationship problems (e.g. "how do i get my bf to stop cheating on me"). if you need help leaving an abusive relationship - we list 3d organizations that can help with it, under "help" tab on top of any page (click on the flag of your country, then expand "domestic abuse" section). if you want to stay in the relationship you're in but want to talk about it - we list a few sites that offer relationships advice, "alternative sites" section of the same page.

and the "speak for yourself" part means that we don't tell others who they are or what they should be doing, thinking, or feeling. e.g. "hun, you've got nothing to be ashamed of." instead, we share our personal experiences on the subject raised: what happened, how it felt, what i did about it, and how it worked out for me - and let others consider what we've shared and make their own choices.

hope im making sense :rs
 
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