New here. Just want to say hello and thank you

Joined
Feb 9, 2020
Messages
2
#1
Hello everyone! My name is Elena, I'm 34 yo and currently trapped in abusive relationships. I know that community guidelines prohibit discussing current relationship and I'm not about to break the rule. Just want to say thank you, to all the survivors for sharing your stories and experiences. Knowing that I'm not alone gives me hope that one day I'll be free and brings back strength and motivation to stay focused on what's important.
 
Joined
Feb 1, 2020
Messages
11
#2
Hi Elena,

I’m pretty new here to the forum myself. I have been made to feel welcome here. Now I’d like to Welcome You.
Having been trapped in an abusive relationship for over a decade I highly emphasize with You. Recently I’ve gotten out. There were times I thought I never would. I’m sure the time will come for You as well when You’re ready and You can do it safely. It’s been a process for me; getting out and it still is in many ways but what has helped me was relating to others in similar situations and ones who have gone through it and are out. You are not alone.

Bree
 
Joined
Feb 9, 2020
Messages
2
#3
Hi Elena,

I’m pretty new here to the forum myself. I have been made to feel welcome here. Now I’d like to Welcome You.
Having been trapped in an abusive relationship for over a decade I highly emphasize with You. Recently I’ve gotten out. There were times I thought I never would. I’m sure the time will come for You as well when You’re ready and You can do it safely. It’s been a process for me; getting out and it still is in many ways but what has helped me was relating to others in similar situations and ones who have gone through it and are out. You are not alone.

Bree
Thank you for supportive words, Bree. Although, there are still many complicated obstacles infront of me, seeing success stories really brought my spirits up. I'm glad I found this community!
 

Jane

Lark Ascending
Mod
Joined
Jun 19, 2013
Messages
25,349
#4
I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation Elena. Have been there and know how hard it was to find my way forward. Thing that finally motivated me was the realisation that although I had some control over my situation my minor son didn't...that in this case my decisions about my relationship were inevitably having a negative impact on him. Was not that my ex (his step-father) was targeting him however he could not help but be aware of what was going on...anxious about it. Up to this point I held on to the hope (probably more accurately given how things were playing out) to the hope that somehow (by my own actions!) I would be able to get my then partner to stop his not ok way of treating me. Now see that me assuming responsibility for changing another (one who I now can see saw no reason to change or take accountability shows how funky my thinking was at this time.
 
Joined
Feb 1, 2020
Messages
11
#6
@Healingstrength; DV hotlines have actually been a great help to me. Actually the first person I spoke to about the “hell” I was in was a person on a Domestic Violence hotline. I was incredibly nervous calling the first time but breaking the silence was my first step to facing the reality I was in and breaking the illusion I was creating where I made myself think it wasn’t so bad.
It was many baby steps from there. I got connected to a dv counselor near me and also attend group counseling. Meeting and connecting with others who have gone or are going through similar situations is something I really look forward to each week.
Elena, glad You found a community You connect with. I remember how hard it was to just have nowhere to turn. So yeah, sharing and connecting with others who understand is great.
 

Healingstrength

Known To All
Got Keys
Joined
Sep 3, 2019
Messages
561
#8
I'm not so sure why I rang a DV hotline myself - I spoke to them initially rarely and then a lot more. I did try in person counsellor at time but had a lot of other things happening at the time as well. I started calling a lot more after it was over.

They have help me a lot in just safety and talking. Highly recommend them
 
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