• Hey :) Just a reminder that Fort community is not equipped to discuss current ongoing abuse. If you're currently involved in an abusive relationship - please log out, contact hotlines and/or alternative sites (the Help tab on top of any page lists a few of each), and feel free to come back to Fort once you're safe and stable. Be safe.

18+ TMI?

B

butterfly101

Guest
#1
so this may sound kinda ridiculous, but I was molested when I was seven, and It slowly developed into rape, and it happened so often, it didnt stop until I was 15, and as I write this right now my hands are shaking uncontrollably, I was just wondering, if anyone else related to this, to where after you experience any consensual sexual/intimate contact you basically have a panic attack, and if so, does anyone really know how to calm themselves down? or to simply just stop shaking

~~ any tips or comments would be majorly appreciated
stay strong
 

Manya

here an there
Admin
Joined
Jul 30, 2009
Messages
17,912
#2
hey butterfly101, im sorry this happened to you :rs
im sure lots of us relate, but i doubt many would wanna talk about it here in public forum thats visible to the whole wide world. the rest of our forums are private, visible to survivors only, thats where we talk mostly. we have a folder for topics involving sexuality and reproductive health, as sexual abuse often makes an impact on it. just thought maybe you wanna register an account and talk about things in a more private setting, with no children reading it, etc :bf
 

Jane

Lark Ascending
Got Keys
Joined
Jun 19, 2013
Messages
26,233
#3
Again sorry you are dealing with the after-effect of abuse. Know from experience how hard it can be to settle when the memories overwhelm me. :dkidk if you have visited our library - we have a section there on strategies that may help those experiencing anxiety, ptsd and such. Here is the link http://www.fortrefuge.com/library.php#ptsd

For you :rs
 
Joined
Mar 26, 2019
Messages
8
#4
hey butterfly101, im sorry this happened to you :rs
im sure lots of us relate, but i doubt many would wanna talk about it here in public forum thats visible to the whole wide world. the rest of our forums are private, visible to survivors only, thats where we talk mostly. we have a folder for topics involving sexuality and reproductive health, as sexual abuse often makes an impact on it. just thought maybe you wanna register an account and talk about things in a more private setting, with no children reading it, etc :bf
is there a forum about sexuality and reproductive health for under 18? I'm seventeen.
 

Manya

here an there
Admin
Joined
Jul 30, 2009
Messages
17,912
#5
is there a forum about sexuality and reproductive health for under 18? I'm seventeen.
no, that can be unsafe and/or illegal in some jurisdictions. completely understand that teens who were sexually abused can struggle with their sexuality or reproductive health, but anonymous groups online arent the safest place to talk of these things. adults can choose to take this risk cuz they are legally responsible for their choices, and for minors its much better to discuss these issues with a trained professional, whose identity/credentials can be verified, and who can be held responsible for misusing your trust, or committing any other wrongdoing in the course of such a discussion.
:rs for you
 

ANPGirl

Part Of The Crowd
Joined
Nov 1, 2018
Messages
131
#6
Butterfly, I find movement helps me regain calm. Have only ever had one panic attack, but I had to get out of the house and walk. I power walked (was nearly in a sprint at first and I never run...hate it) until I could feel calm coming back.

Listen to your body, if possible. It has the solution for what you need to calm back down and regain control. I know it might be really tough to be in your body at all, but your body will want to do something in that moment. Listen to it. Mine was full out panicking and I knew I had to go for a walk or it felt like I would lose my mind even though I was in my own home, I was alone and quietly chilling on the couch only moments prior.

I hope you find your peace.
 
Joined
Mar 26, 2019
Messages
8
#7
no, that can be unsafe and/or illegal in some jurisdictions. completely understand that teens who were sexually abused can struggle with their sexuality or reproductive health, but anonymous groups online arent the safest place to talk of these things. adults can choose to take this risk cuz they are legally responsible for their choices, and for minors its much better to discuss these issues with a trained professional, whose identity/credentials can be verified, and who can be held responsible for misusing your trust, or committing any other wrongdoing in the course of such a discussion.
:rs for you
That makes sense. Thank you for your response.
 
A

Anonymo

Guest
#8
so this may sound kinda ridiculous, but I was molested when I was seven, and It slowly developed into rape, and it happened so often, it didnt stop until I was 15, and as I write this right now my hands are shaking uncontrollably, I was just wondering, if anyone else related to this, to where after you experience any consensual sexual/intimate contact you basically have a panic attack, and if so, does anyone really know how to calm themselves down? or to simply just stop shaking

~~ any tips or comments would be majorly appreciated
stay strong
A really similar thing happened to me when I was a child. When becoming intimate with my partner I noticed that it never really affected me until one day it just hit me. I was going to have sex for the first time, I really love and trust my partner but when it was time to actually have sex I freaked out and felt so much anxiety and just pain, I realized that the past events definitely affected me.

I feel like this type of stuff takes time. Usually what helps a bit is if you tell your partner how you feel so they can help you cope, when I feel this huge amount of anxiety I usually just try to switch my negative thoughts to positive ones. I try to think about how much I trust my partner and that they are here for me. I’m sorry this happened to you, I might not be of much help but I hope this does help you in some way
 
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