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Thread: was it rape?

  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    was it rape?

    This is something that ive carried around with me for almost two months now..

    I cant believe I am ever writing this.

    Two months ago a friend of mine got engaged. We have been in each others live for over 10 years her family is mine and mine is hers.
    she has an older brother who is like my own brother as well. two years ago he hooked up with a my friends bestfriend in vegas while we all were on a trip together weather to say it was his or her doing im not sure... earlier this year he had started hitting on another one of our friends sending nudes, sexual text messages and trying to get her to hook up with him this came after years of him hitting on her casually. nothing was ever said to my friend about her brother being this way in our friend group.

    the day of the engagement she was with her then boyfriend and I was left with her brother to be there and celebrate the engagement later that night we had all gone out and were drinking heavily (whiskey which I never drink) my friends brother starting hitting on me and I told my friend she told me to tell him to stop which I had over and over and left me alone while she was with all of her other friends. later that night we ended up back at their house, my friend and I had gotten into a huge argument I tried to go home and they didn't let me drive, I was going to uber and still didn't let me but shut me out of her room. all I remember is waking up in her brothers bed naked next to him and thinking what the hell happened. I remember feeling like I was taken advantage. I never spoke of this until recently I hadn't been feeling myself, very depressed and

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Kindness & hugs.
    Idk can understand that you are having trouble sorting out what happened...thing that stands out to me is that you had been drinking - whiskey that you were not use to. For sex to be consensual you need to be able to consent, balance up what is suggested and come to a free choice - clearly if you are not sober you are in no situation to do this. So would seem to me it was not a consensual sexual interaction. So sorry that you are dealing with this situation.

    For you
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  3. #3
    Unregistered Guest

    Fellow Survivor

    I am twenty-two year old woman. I have been raped on three separate occasions within three very different circumstances. In fact, the third happened this past March. I am still in denial and have not told a soul. You would think I would be an 'expert' at rape after it happening to me three times, right? Wrong.

    I believe every victim, and more importantly survivor, of rape has to allow themselves the time to be angry, sad, hysterical, whatever feelings first emerge. You need to accept those, and that could take days, months or years. It is different for everyone, I promise. On the other hand, I can't promise you will accept these emotions or possibly what happened to you. I have found it most comforting to take them all in stride, one day at a time.

    Next in the grieving and realization-of-what-happened-to-you process, I suggest you move forward with whatever action you feel in your heart and mind will bring you some peace. This should be done whenever you are ready.

    Peace is a long and tumultuous journey that is worth every star in the sky. Life will go on and you may have an entire relapse of all of those original feelings. (Trust me, it will probably happen). But each breath on this Earth is one more that I have with all of the people I love, the adventures I have yet to take, my passions, and most importantly, a breath to peace.

    I am not sure how this site works, but if you find comfort in anything I wrote and would like to speak further, my eyes and ears are open to you.

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