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Thread: My boyfriend raped me

  1. #1
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    My boyfriend raped me

    I dated a guy for a few months who had been my best friend for years. We had sex throughout the relationship & it was consensual; however, iím not someone who particularly craves/enjoys sex. Especially not now. I decided that i didnít want to have sex anymore unless we got married & he agreed. We went a couple weeks, & one night he asked me to stay the night at his house. I argued because i knew what would end up happening if i did, but he promised me nothing would happen. In the middle of the night, i was woken up out of a dead sleep to him flipping me over onto my stomach. Half asleep, i asked him ďwhat are u doing..?Ē He didnít say anything. He ripped my panties off & started ramming me. I told him multiple times that it hurt but he didnít stop. My face was buried in the pillow & i just started crying bc i felt helpless. He finally finished, got up, went to the bathroom, came back & went to sleep. I cried myself to sleep & felt disgusting the next morning. I broke up with him not long after. I never told anyone because i didnít want to be the boy who cried wolf. I knew people would tell me that he was my boyfriend so thereís no way he could rape me. I also knew people would tell me i put myself in the situation so i was ďasking for itĒ, so i never said anything. To this day, my family still talks about how much they love & miss him because they donít know what he did to me. Theyíre so confused when i get mad at them for bringing his name up. I donít want to say anything to anyone & ruin his life. I just feel so alone & like iíll never want another man to touch me again.

  2. #2
    Tasha1701D's Avatar
    Tasha1701D is offline Fort Security Chief & Stargazer
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    I really relate to not saying anything to anyone because of feeling as if I "asked for it" or something. for you. I'm still working through the emotional fallout I experienced after my rape. It was someone I trusted and had been friends with for years. The betrayal was so difficult for me to deal with. I also never said anything to anyone and others who knew the person would say things about how awesome they were and such. I'm so sorry for what you experienced. Sitting with you.
    ~Tasha

    May you have peace, live long, and prosper.

    "On the starship Enterprise, no one is alone." ~Capt. Jean-Luc Picard in The Bonding, ST:TNG Season 3
    "Seize the time, Meribor-live now! Make now always the most precious time. Now will never come again." ~Capt. Jean-Luc Picard as Kamin in The Inner Light, ST:TNG Season 5

  3. #3
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    Hi welcome to Fort

    I am so sorry that this guy forcibly raped you - he had absolutely no right to do that...if witness could have ended up with him being convicted - ending up on the sex offender register. You said 'no sex' (had an agreement) he violated that ...began his attack when you were asleep, Makes no difference that you had a former consensual sexual relationship with this guy - is your body and only you have the right to say who touches it - in which way, change your mind too. Hear you about your parents (who don't know what he did to you) praising him and such - given the circumstances I understand why that upsets you. I have a history of not revealing a sexual assault...on retrospect I wish I had - is a personal thing...imo important that you do what feels best for you when it comes to telling or not telling.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

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