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Thread: Abuse survivor

  1. #1
    Cuke Guest

    Abuse survivor

    I am a survivor of childhood, sexual & domestic abuse. (physical emotional/mental & financial) I have suffered with anxiety, panic, depression, abandonment issues & disordered eating. I do not wish to talk to anybody in person since I have tried that many times in the past does not seem to help me. I cannot trust anybody. Not able to go to counseling even if I wanted to talk to someone in person due to finances and no insurance. Do not qualify for anything. I have gone to the chat online communities mentioned here and I have been treated unkindly. I have never dealt with any of the issues that have plagued me since I was a preschooler. I just went into each relationship either with my family or ex spouses I never dealt with the issues since I kept repeating the cycle. What does someone like me do? In some ways I would like to get help to deal with this stuff and in other ways I don't. I have no desire to be in a relationship again I've done it three times and I just want be alone. I'm tired of the BS & the lies. I have no problem getting over the relationships I say good riddance to them that's not the problem. It's all the feelings that I'm supposed to be dealing with and the aftermath of the stuff that I've never dealt with. I am also extremely paranoid to register with any site for fear that someone will find out who I am or track me. I also know at the same time that that's highly unlikely that that is fear talking. But I still feel that way. And I do not talk to anybody else that I know because I don't have any friends since I could never have or do friendships because I can never be honest with anybody about what has gone on in the past.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    14,195
    i relate to what youre saying. on one hand it can be hard to trust people, connect with them, attach/bond, ask them for help, etc. of course its hard, after youve been abused, i.e. your trust was betrayed. on the other hand its hard to be alone, with no human connections, nobody to talk to, nobody to ask for help when you need it. cuz humans are social animals, we need other humans in our life, its just nature. so its a hard dilemma that im sure many of us are struggling with, to one extent or another.

    thing is - there are no magic wands, it kinda is what it is. if i want human connections, i gotta reach out for them, accept the risks. sometimes i'll get what i want, other times i wont. the more i do it the better i get at estimating the outcome. its just how life works. for example, idk what chat online communities you went to cuz at most places you need to register, but still - yeah, sometimes people can be unkind. like maybe you'll perceive this post as unkind. but im not the only one here, there are thousands of people at fort. one being unkind doesnt mean none of us are worth talking to, you know. also helps to think of other people too - they could be unkind for their own reasons. maybe they are having a bad day, upset stomach, what have you, and tomorrow would be kinder. or maybe something youre doing rubs them the wrong way, so you can adjust and get better results.

    at the end of the day though, its up to you which risks to take, which goals to set, etc. maybe connecting to people really isnt worth the risks for you at this point. its your decision, and there are no wrong answers. i know people who successfully live on little to no human connection...

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  3. The following 2 users say thank you to Manya for this useful post:

    Jobriel (01-01-2018),Sunfl0wer (12-30-2017)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    20
    I relate to having no friends. I have people who might consider me a friend but I consider them more acquaintances. I donít trust my wife to discuss my abuse (gossips) and other than this site I have never told anyone about my dad molesting me. It's a relief to finally be able to tell someone (Iím 43). I would have to say you have nothing to worry about as far as being ďoutedĒ on a site like this. And it will do you good to get things off your chest. Iím relatively new here but my short time here has been good for me. Iím prepping myself to seek counseling to deal with my past and this has been a good place to start. It was hard for me to talk about it at first but once I did it became real easy and things just sorta flowed out of me...like it was waiting to.

  5. The following 2 users say thank you to FC for this useful post:

    Jobriel (01-01-2018),Manya (01-01-2018)

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