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Thread: My abuse story

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Posts
    1

    My abuse story

    I was 15, my boyfriend was in the year above me at school. I met him doing a play and instantly starting liking him. Things moved very quickly and we were going out less than a week later. I thought it was perfect I thought he was the one. Then things started going wrong. He became obsessive and controlling. He was angry all the time. He made rules. I wasnít allowed to have friends or go out. I was so lonely. I would have to have sex with him every time we were together even if I didnít want to although at the time I didnít realise that was happening. Then once or twice he grabbed me by the throat. He forced me to take drugs then made me have sex with him. He would threaten to kill him or cut if I didnít follow the rules. I was so lonely. I managed to get out but Iím still suffering every day. I donít know where he is. Iím in constant fear. I have awful anxiety and anger issues. The memories haunt me. I canít trust anyone.

  2. The following user says thank you to Olivia2468 for this useful post:

    Jane (10-03-2017)

  3. #2
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Dallas, Texas
    Posts
    4

    I misunderstood abuse as love

    I remember the first time my boyfriend hit me I was thinking that it was my fault. I remember him telling me that I was stressing him out by steady asking him questions after a long day of working. He apologized and the next day he appeared with flowers. It was months before it happened again but it did and I forgave him once again because I believed it was my fault and I believed he truly loved me and he told no one would love me the way he loved me. Over the next few years we had three children together and it was when my daughter seen their father hit me and pull a knife on me that I decided it was time for me to leave. I didn't want my children to think it was ever ok for anyone to put their hands on them. After leaving him I did continue the pattern of being with abusive men in my relationships. I am slowly learning to love myself and know my self worth. I want to be a role model to my children and let them know any type of abuse is never ok and it is ok to tell someone. I never told my family or friends about my abuse. I will tell anyone if they do it once more than likely it will continue to happen. After all that I still have trust issues and it is hard for me to keep a relationship with any man.
    Broken but repairable

  4. The following 2 users say thank you to Kassandra for this useful post:

    Jane (10-03-2017),weepingwillow (10-08-2017)

  5. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    19,591
    Affection
    Kindness & hugs.
    Can relate to your description of being targetted and hooked in by a person who had real issues...dealt with them by finding someone to manipulate and control. Was older than 15 when this happened to me...had more life experience (and I thought judgement) but was still an easy target. Have since learned that no one is immune to getting caught up in the sick cycle of abuse - kids, adults, woman, men, highly educated, social services professionals.

    Amazes me looking back at how accepting? fatalistic? I became - how hard it was for me to see the situation I was in - to see my options and most of all to see that what was happening was not ok - would not magically fix itself or be able to be made better by me. Guy I was with did not want to change saw no reason to. Fortunately I finally did leave but not before my self esteem, body and mind had taken a real battering.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

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