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Thread: I feel so alone

  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    I feel so alone

    I am sitting at work not really working because I'm in so much pain. He was gone all night again and when I woke up for work I flipped out and starting yelling at him. I'm not much of a morning person and I do have a temper but I have never tried to swing at him or anything. He was in the basement and came after me and I tried to get up the stairs but he dragged me back down and choked me telling me this time it was over. That is usually what he does but I've never been left with marks on my neck before. When he finally let me go I ran upstairs and cried in bed only to have him come upstairs and rape me while smacking me and ripping my bra and belt to my pants.

    I cried the entire way to work, I can't lift my arm and it's the same side where he broke my collarbone earlier this year but I have marks all over my neck and back so I really don't want to go to the doctor or hospital.

    I am so depressed and miserable right now. My ex-husband was very emotionally abusive and I don't feel any hope right now. Getting away from him took so much and I don't feel like I have it in me to do it again.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    20,122
    Affection
    Kindness & hugs.
    I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation...

    Can remember how I felt when I (also for the second time) threw my lot in with someone who had too many issues of his own to be good partnership material. Having to once again face up to the reality of my situation. that I had two choices;

    to accept my lot...that how it was was likely how it was going to stay - that for my own reasons I was prepared to put up with it or

    to accept that I deserved better, that enough was enough and leave.

    I chose the latter - not saying it was easy...though it did help that I contacted my local DV centre - staff there helped me to look at my choices and when I decided to leave to develop a plan to do this safely. They also offered me free trauma counselling which I otherwise would not have thought of. The input of a non-judgemental professional...one who understood the dynamics of abusive relationships their power to capture and keep people stuck helped me to keep it together as I once again ajusted to living on my own.

    For you if I may

    Hope you find the support you need to look at your options and do what feels is best. As outlined in our guidelines we do not have the capacity or resources to help those dealing with current relationship problems but do invite you to return if you decide if you decide to leave your partner...would like extra support as you work on your healing.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

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