+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: My Story

  1. #1
    KandyKane Guest

    My Story

    When I was 6 I was raped by a neighbor. I never understood so, I never said anything. Years later, when I was 16, I had "hooked" up with a popular boy. We were seen together all night. Later that night he said he would walk me home so, I told my friends I was fine & we separated so, I was alone with him. But, he said he wasn't ready to end the night. I agreed to stay out later. He ended up taking me behind a dumpster of a shopping center & raping me. The next morning I was in trouble by my mother for breaking curfew. I ended up breaking down & telling her what happened the night before & about when I was a little girl. She wanted me to press charges. I did not, this boy was very popular & had a lot of friends & I felt as though everyone would hate me. I was right because I confided in one friend & before I knew it the entire school knew. I was laughed at & made a joke. It was horrible. It was just something I wanted to bury & forget. When I was 21 I went to an overnight camping party. It was huge with tons of people. My best friend was there with her boyfriend so, I had my own tent. Earlier in the day I was bitten by something that made me very ill. I sat in air conditioning for a couple hours & was given a benadryl. I woke up later while everyone had been partying quite awhile. I felt fine so I opened a beer. My friend was with her boyfriend so I needed to find someone else to hang out with. I met a guy that I already kinda knew & he took me to a party at a tent. There were girls & guys there. At this point I was still on one beer. I remember singing & dancing & having a good time. Then the rest is so foggy. I remember a corn field vaguely. Then the next thing I remember is getting in my tent & a girl telling me I passed out. There was a guy standing there but, I couldn't see his face. I mentioned the corn field & was told I must be imagining it. Then after that all I remember is it raining & my friend waking me up. I was in a puddle of water. All the campers were gone & I felt so confused & my body ached so bad. She says what happened to you? I didn't know. Still til this day many years later the sound of rain makes me in a depressive state & brings all these thoughts back. I don't know if that night I was drugged or was it the effects of the benadryl & /or being bitten by something. Did those people that brought me to my tent help me or hurt me? I feel like I am so abnormal because of this happening 3 times in my life. Am I just a whore seeking attention or a victim? I have struggled with this my entire life. I keep it all inside. I have never even told my husband. I just feel as though he would judge me. I would like to let it go & not bother me anymore but, I just don't know how. It's currently raining so it's just a bad day :(

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    19,532
    Affection
    Kindness & hugs.
    Hi KandyKane

    Read your story and relate to your distress. That people took advantage of you when you were in no state to resist...can only imagine how hard it is to come to terms with repeated violations like the ones you discribe.

    You do not mention if you have sought the help of a trauma counsellor - in a different but similarly upsetting situation I found this helped...enable me to see options within my control that I could use to reduce my risk of being targeted by people who did not respect me...wanted to use me for their own not ok purposes.

    For you
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  3. The following user says thank you to Jane for this useful post:

    Reblisa (08-30-2017)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Location
    Bristol uk
    Posts
    686
    Affection
    No prayers thanks otherwise all affection is good
    So sorry this has happened to you and understand your distress.

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may post new threads
  • You may post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •