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Thread: Help

  1. #1
    So stuck Guest

    Help

    I just don't know what to do ... I'm in a relationship that is killing me one day at a time ... I try so hard to keep the peace cause I do care about the emotional drama he is going through ... but he is so rude to me .. not picks at everything... all ways looking for a fight ... he never have anything nice to say .. he's a drunk and his behaviour is getting worse he's breaking things .. he landed up in hospital conscious... but he just can't see he has issues ... anyway I did so much for him today and he came home and got drunk then through our only source of heating by smashing it on the floor ... then I lost it I got up and pushed him to get him out of my room .. then his anger and his verbal abuse towards me got out of control ... I know I have to get out ... but I'm so isolated now from my friends a family because I have been so embarrassed...I just want to pack up and leave ... but all our money is tied together and I have no one to turn to .. to help me

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    13,721

    i understand that he's rude, drinks, breaks things, etc. however, that doesnt make it ok to physically assault him. drinking is not a crime, while losing it and pushing him is. violence prevention programs vary by country, our help page might have some useful links/phone numbers
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  3. The following user says thank you to Manya for this useful post:

    Jane (07-18-2017)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    20
    What country are you in? From what you say, this certainly doesn't seem like a healthy relationship from both sides. I am sorry you are in this situation. I would maybe take the advice from the poster above me. Do you want to leave the relationship? If you do but you are scared to there are organisations that can help you.

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    18,935
    Affection
    Kindness & hugs.
    Can understand how frustrating you find your partner's behaviour. In my case I delivered an ultimatum...'come with me to a relationship counsellor or It is over'...he objected but eventually agreed to my request. Didn't end up happily but helped me to get the clear message that changing his behaviour was down to him...I had no power over this. That until he accepted that his behaviour was a problem and he wanted to change it...was prepared to do the hard work needed to deal with his issues (because he, not me or anyone else wanted this) things would stay the same.

    Helped me to realise that the only control I had was over my own behaviour...how I reacted. Getting to this point made me see that living with him was not making me happy, certainly was not bringing out the best in me. That the best (but hard option) was for me to leave. Looking back I am glad I did...wonder why I accepted what I did for so long.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

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