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Thread: My mother hits me

  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    My mother hits me

    Hi,
    I am a 36 year old woman and my mother still hits me and verbally abuses me. I feel helpless and alone because I don't know where to turn. I don't have any friends who would understand. I have children of my own and trying to stay strong for them. My husband comes from a very non violent family and doesn't really know how to support me. He has never gone through what I have. He sees it happening but doesn't really want to be involved in my healing process.

    Any advice would be welcome. Please help.

    Abused Mom

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Sounds like your mother has claimed the right to treat you as she wishes...hit and verbally abuse you...she has no more right than anyone else to do this. No matter how frustrated or angry she is with you she has a responsibility to treat you with respect...express her feelings? sure, but, but not to do this in a out off control or nasty way. More to the point imo you have a right to walk away from her, I mean no one owes anything to a person (parent or other) who treats them badly.

    Idk you could lay down some boundaries...state what you expect. No hitting or nasty comments...if she refuses to accept these say something like 'love you mum but will no longer accept your behaviour and walk away'.

    Is not easy...reached this point with one of my family members...decided enough was enough and ....put myself and my well-being first.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  3. The following user says thank you to Jane for this useful post:

    Sunfl0wer (06-16-2017)

  4. #3
    Join Date
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    Way I see it is being hit, is assault to me. I am prone to call police on the person and press charges.
    Yet realize, you likely have the choice to not be in the company of your mom, you being adult and all.
    Yet often me running the same scenario through my head, replacing the family member with a starnger, then it helps me to see: wait! I would never let a stranger hit me like that! Wth am I letting my BF (or family) do this?

    Often I can tell you if it were a stranger, exactly how I would respond:
    Shocked
    Get away fast
    If I cannot get away good enough, scream for help/call 911

    So why when it is someone I know do I normalize and minimize the behvaior?
    Do I deserve any different treatment suddenly cause I know the person?
    Is my value and worth less now?
    Had I not created my whole world. I would certainly have died in other people’s. ~Anias Nin

  5. The following user says thank you to Sunfl0wer for this useful post:

    Jane (06-16-2017)

  6. #4
    Join Date
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    hugs and kisses,but mind the feathers please.
    So sorry to read this,it appears that your mother has issues of her own. I wonder judging by your age if she is suffering from an illness of her own that makes her do this sort of thing ( not making excuses for this behaviour which is shocking and so wrong)
    I know that sometimes early onset dementia can make a person violent.
    The other thing is,is there any way you can perhaps avoid seeing her? Or maybe only ever see her when others are around to witness this behaviour.
    It seems your mother is a bully but I wonder if she does this in front of anyone else?
    I know I put up with bad behaviour from my own mother for a long long time but eventually this sort of thing has to end,eventually an abuser must be forced to recognise their own behaviour and either alter it or realise that the person they take their aggression out on is no longer willing to be in a relationship with them.
    Hope you can sort this awful problem out soon.
    " A person's a person no matter how small" Horton the Elephant.
    "Why,sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast" Lewis Carroll,Alice In Wonderland.

  7. The following 2 users say thank you to eagle22 for this useful post:

    Jane (06-16-2017),Sunfl0wer (06-16-2017)

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