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Thread: Feeling frustrated and insignificant

  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    Feeling frustrated and insignificant

    I'm not sure where to turn or how to deal with my past trauma. I was only 15 when my boyfriend turned extremely abusive, physically, sexually, and psychologically. I know this sounds crazy but my mother was not very involved in my personal life and I hid it from her the best I could and she had a drinking problem at the time. The things I went through were horrific and I never received any help for it. My few friends I have told about it have always been very supportive but I've never had the courage to divulge the details to anyone and the haunt me. I briefly went to coinciding when I was 20 and began having panic attacks and they put me on anti anxiety meds but I could not afford to continue going. I am now 26 and have lived a fairly normal life outwardly but I still have nightmares and flashbacks and he tried to contact me a year ago and I ended up a mess again. I feel like I should be over this and it shouldn't be affecting me still but my adrenaline is spiking just writing this post. Should I trust my friend with the details of my trauma or leave it be? I'm scared to be judged and I feel that it is insignificant because I was 16 when I finally left him, that's 10 years ago......

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
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    Kindness & hugs.
    I am so sorry that you did not get the help you needed to process and deal with what happened to you as a minor. In my experience just because we somehow manage to push big events like the one you describe to the back of our minds and carry on they do not often slowly disappear. In my case it was very like this - yep on one or two occasions I half-heartedly tried to raise what had happened with trusted friends, but like me they were out of their depth with this subject.

    Idk about sharing what happened with your current boyfriend...must be your decision. I chose to work with a trauma therapist - helped me to share with a non-involved professional to contain the very normal emotional response talking about my history of abuse raised in me.

    I hope what I have shared helps in someway. Although we do not provide therapy - you may wish to register here at the Fort - has helped me enormously to be able to share with others who know what it is like to experience abuse and like me are working on their recovery.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  3. The following 2 users say thank you to Jane for this useful post:

    Sunfl0wer (04-29-2017),weepingwillow (04-29-2017)

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