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Thread: I don't know what to do

  1. #1
    Polinochkaaaaaa Guest

    I don't know what to do

    Hi. I'm first time at this place. I tried to find help everywhere but nobody really can help me. I'm feeling so lonely. I was married to my husband two years ago. At the beginning he was okay. We have big difference at age. He is 20 years older then me. But from the very beginning he was too jeleous. But I thought when we get married he will change because we would live together. Time passed at things getting worse everything I did he criticized. Whatever I cook or clean he was always unhappy . He start controlling me what to dress, what I can wear what not, he doesn't like my friends, and said all my friends not docent. He forbids me to communicate with them. He loves very skinny girls and said I'm too fat. He was forbidding me to eat . I was sitting like two weeks only on coffe and cigarettes. From hunger I can't sleep. But sometimes he allowed me to eat at McDonald's but it was one rule - if I ate whatever I want I have to go and throw out. He was supporting me with money plus I was undocumentee so he was got scared me to call in me immigration service if i wouldn't obey. He was retired sanitation and for our family we didn't have enough money. He said I can get good paid at escort agencies. He hitted me several times, but one time he was threatened me to kill so I call police and he was arrested. We had Oder of protection. But he tried to contact me through my friends and asked to put charges off so he can give me money again. After I did it he started to press me not only phisically but morally too. He was always blaming me how can I call police on him and arrest him. He was called me and abuse me so offending things and discussing about me how I'm bad with his friends and family. After this I found out that he had some mental disease and he doesn't accept it and doesn't want to take medicine off. He was fired from his job because nobody can handle with him. And I decided to leave him forever. But he became more mad. He was threatened to kill me to kill my friends. Sometimes I couldn't go outside for several days because I was scared of him. I triead to call police and explain but they really can do anything, try to call several times hot line domestic violence hot lines - it helps but when I hung up I'm still feel fear. I don't know what to do I feel so unprotected , alone and unsaved. I can't walk outside- when I see big car ( he had such) I'm scared that somebody will kill me now. I can't walk from fear my head is like drunk. Whatever I tried to find help they really didn't help me. Sometimes I just want to dissapear. Whanever I ask for a help they give advices, they are nice people but at the end I'm leaving with my own fear. I was never like this. I had two good relationships before . Right now I'm feeling I'm guilty that something wrong with me plus this fear all the time he tries to put in me. And I don't know what to do, I'm feeling so helpless and useless. I can't see any exit from my situation. I tried to escape from him but he doesn't let me. He is fallowing me. I tried to change living of location but he checking places where I'm going. Police doesn't help. He asked his friends to text me to get scared me . Who has the same situation ? What can I do? Sometimes I think I got crazy and can't think about anything except this paralyzing fear inside me.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    PA USA
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    12,847
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    I live on hugs.
    I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this now. Abuse and ptsd are horrible things. We can help with discussing support and stuff for dealing with the aftereffects of the abuse, but there's nothing we can do to protect you in 3d. Laws are different everywhere, so the only thing we could say would be to call a lawyer or some office near you and ask. If someone gives you advice and you do something illegal you'll be the one to get in trouble, so personally I don't put much stock in advice I would get from anonymous people online that don't know me.

    for you. We have hotline info in the help tab at the top of the page. Perhaps one of those places could help you in real life. I really hope you are able to get and remain safe soon.
    "You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it." -- Robin Williams
    "Don't be afraid of the shadows, that only means there's a light nearby." -- Evanescence
    "So when you’re feeling crazy, and things fall apart, listen to your head, remember who you are." -- Three Days Grace
    "But I am not really worried, I am not overly concerned. You try to tell yourself the things you tell yourself to make yourself forget." -- Counting Crows
    "Our brains are sick, but that's OK!"
    "Peace will win and fear will lose."

    "And I will say that we should take a moment and hold it, and keep it frozen and know that life has a hopeful undertone."
    "It ain't the speakers that bump hearts, it's our hearts that make the beat!" -- twenty øne piløts |-/

  3. The following 2 users say thank you to weepingwillow for this useful post:

    eagle22 (04-27-2017),Sunfl0wer (04-26-2017)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    19,849
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    Just wanting to say I read your post - really feel for you. Thing that helped me was to contact my local DV centre...they helped me to leave safely and to move into a safe house. Like you I also needed legal assistance and they helped me to arrange this.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  5. The following user says thank you to Jane for this useful post:

    weepingwillow (04-29-2017)

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