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Thread: Confused

  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest


    I am so confused right now. I feel like I am in the middle of a bad horror movie, and I am the Star of it. It all seems so unreal.

    I got out of an abusive marriage, the police removed me, and ended up in an even worse situation. This man keeps trying to purposely make me ill in various ways. He also traps my cat in a corner when he thinks I am not looking and scares her. I now just stay in the living room with her, with the door closed all the time. He knows I have an asthma-like illness and he goes spraying things in the kitchen to try to make me sick, and turns the heating system off and on because we are having problems with the radiators putting off a chemical like smell and also a gassy smell and he knows it makes me ill.

    I am possibly going to get a large sum of money from ESA, and he is on my claim. I want to leave here as soon as I can. I don't know if I am required to give him half of it. I wish I could keep it all till I get out of there safely. I am afraid if I get this money and give him half, he will leave then and I will not have anywhere to live and end up in a homeless shelter and lose my cat as well.

    He also does just stupid things like puts his food over in the middle of the refrigerator shelf because he knows that I want my stuff on one side of it and his on the other side of it. I have some kind of a mental disorder about this I guess, and I like to have everything in order. He always does these sort of things in a sneaky manner then denies it. I found out things about a Covert Narcissist and I am pretty sure that is what he is.

    I am also so afraid to move out as well, I am worried I wont be able to get onto ESA and stay on it. I just went for my health assessment a couple of days ago. I am afraid also that I won't be able to have a day with enough time when he is away so that I can safely move out of here with my cat. He does things like telling me he is going to 'take my cat for a walk' because he knows I want to protect her from harm and I won't let her outside because I have had 2 cats that got run over and died and one cat come up missing that I never saw again. And the teenagers here are awful to animals.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Kindness & hugs.
    Hi hear how hard things are for you. Sure sounds like the threats and actions of your (am I right in thinking not yet ex) are doing nothing other than add to your problems. I wonder have you a case worker who you could discuss your options with...failing this maybe contact your local DV shelter. Hopefully they will be able to put you in contact with someone who will be able to clarify your legal entitlements re property and assets you share...and most importantly help you to enforce your right as an adult to make your own decisions...about your future including your current unhealthy relationship.

    I hope what I have shared helps to see you do have options that there is 3d help available for people living with domestic abuse and the like.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Welcome. I've known men like the one you are describing. Get help, be safe.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    hugs and kisses,but mind the feathers please.
    I think you might be in the UK judging by mentioning ESA so hopefully this will help. The ESA is a benefit for you..as far as I know you are not required to give anyone a part of it..but perhaps a talk with Citizen's Advice or DWP might offer better advice?



    Also maybe women's refuge might be able to offer some help with accommodation


    Hope this helps
    " A person's a person no matter how small" Horton the Elephant.
    "Why,sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast" Lewis Carroll,Alice In Wonderland.

  5. The following user says thank you to eagle22 for this useful post:

    weepingwillow (04-14-2017)

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