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Thread: Childhood Sexual Abuse. Where do I go from here?

  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    Childhood Sexual Abuse. Where do I go from here?

    Hi Everyone, I'm looking for some advice.

    I have recently started therapy for sexual abuse that happened throughout my childhood at the hands of my father. The therapy I am having at the minute is CBT but I could also have EMDR, I don't know if any of you have any experience with this?

    As I said, I was abused throughout my childhood, my sister was also (I dont know when it started etc). We got taken to the police twice when we were younger (I was 10) and questioned but it went no further (he was questioned under the influence and the whole police process was a sham to be honest). I moved away from home when I was 18 and I have been getting on with my life when a few months ago my sister rang and told me the police wanted to speak to me again which as you could imagine, has turned my life upside down!- hence the start of therapy.
    Also the other week I found out that my father had been found dead, which adds to everything in my head, my first thought was to see the body but the therapist and everyone else doesn't think this is a good idea.
    My head has been a mess and Ive had a mixture of emotions going on for the past couple of weeks.
    I don't have many memories of my childhood and what I do have are pretty vague, I mean years have been blocked out completely! And this is what I struggle with. I feel like I have not addressed and dealt with any of my demons but how can I without the memories?
    My therapist says that I have disassociated and that sometimes its not worth 'going there' and its a dangerous road when I'm functioning really well.
    My sister has memories because she has had therapy for a while to regain memories and what she has told me I don't know if I want to remember but how do I cope and accept that I wont have those memories if I do not go and have the EMDR? Also I am getting married in 6 months time and although I would not consider starting the therapy until after the wedding I do not want it to affect my relationship with my partner and all I can think is that if I have this therapy then I might not be able to cope.
    I think I had a flashback the other day when he touched me and I freaked out and Ive never had that before and it really scared me and I don't want that to be a frequent occurrence if I do have the EMDR but I feel like that is inevitable.

    So I guess I am writing for advice and where I go from here, if I do have the therapy I think I might not cope and if I don't have the EMDR therapy then how do I process or accept the past with minimal memories?

    Thankyou

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    14,612
    hey

    truly sorry about what happened to you, but glad you're getting help for it.

    i thought emdr was for trauma that you do remember, to desensitize you from it. like intrusive memories, flashbacks, etc. if you dont remember the trauma, im not sure how would emdr help with it?

    i also thought cbt was not for dealing with past demons, but rather for improving your quality of life in the here and now. of course your therapist doesnt wanna go there with trauma work: it takes time and does affect your functioning.

    its your choice of how to deal with it, by addressing it or by ignoring it. theres no right or wrong answer here, everyones situation is different. to me its kinda like deciding if you wanna have a surgery for a club foot or not. for a young child surgery is the answer of course, but for a 50yo - not so sure, depends on circumstances. a surgery would put them on bed rest for a while, cost a lot, and they'll have to re-learn how to walk from scratch. they been living with this foot for 50 years, so they might choose to keep it as it is, and instead get better shoes, physical therapy, etc. or they might choose to get it fixed.

    hope im making sense
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  3. The following user says thank you to Manya for this useful post:

    Catalyst4Change (02-16-2017)

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