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Thread: Taking emotional abuse seriously

  1. #1
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    Taking emotional abuse seriously

    Hi everyone - I found this forum when i googled "taking emotional abuse seriously" - I found a link to a post that has been archived, so it seems I can't add to that thread. (I will put the link below) - So I decided to start a new one.

    I have been running an online support group for emotionally abused teens for a long time. Recently a teen wrote me for help and to make a long story short, it became clear her school counselor was not taking the emotional abuse she is receiving seriously. The source of the abuse is the mother in this case. Instead of really helping the student, the counselor basically defended, excused and justified the mother's behavior while telling the teen to just deal with it.

    This teen is at a high risk of suicide already so I am very concerned and at least wanted to tell as many people as I can that emotional abuse can definitely lead to depression, self harm and suicide among youth, if not adults.

    Thanks for reading

    Steve

    PS here is the link I mentioned

    http://www.fortrefuge.com/forum/show...buse-seriously

  2. The following user says thank you to steve57 for this useful post:

    Jane (01-07-2017)

  3. #2
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    Hi Steve welcome. Glad you have stepped in.

    Could not agree more that emotional abuse can (and does) have a devastating effect on those who experience it. That emotional attacks can negatively impact on their target as much as physical ones.

    We work hard here to not rank different types of abuse...to not give the erroneous message that this type is worse/more serious/damaging that that one. Know the courts use these sorts of scales but is not our way - round here we support the position that any type of abuse has an equal ability to negatively impact on a person's life...traumatise them.

    Hear the important work you are doing helping teens to cope and deal with their issues and absolutely accept that this experience gives you first-hand knowledge about the trauma emotional (often hidden) abuse can cause this group. How it can impact on their sense of themselves and well being, lead them to find relief in anyway they can.

    Just a clarification - the thread you linked to was not archived because we do not think that discussions on emotional abuse have a place here (have folders for discussions on this important subject and resources on it in the library). Rather was archived because it related to an ongoing consensual relationship - albeit an unhealthy one. As identified in our intro pages we are not equipped to deal with these (though do provide links to agencies that are). Our purpose is to provide a platform for those (16 years and older) who have moved into the next stage of their journey...who are no longer being abused...stable and safe enough to be able to focus on their healing.

    Thanks for your contribution
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  4. The following 2 users say thank you to Jane for this useful post:

    steve57 (01-08-2017),weepingwillow (01-12-2017)

  5. #3
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    Thanks Jane

    Thank you Jane for your comment and explaining why that post was archived.

  6. The following user says thank you to steve57 for this useful post:

    Jane (01-08-2017)

  7. #4
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    It's very true and it's incredibly frustrating. I told someone that I was abused, and she immediately thought I was a victim of incest. I'm afraid to correct her and say that the abuse was emotional/financial/psychological/spiritual because I'm afraid of not being taken seriously.

    And while it's illegal in many jurisdictions to physically or sexually abuse, an abuser can scream, swear, berate, and ridicule all s/he wants without legal trouble.

    It sucks.

  8. #5
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    i hear you julie-myriam. children who are emotionally abused are sometimes removed from their parents custody, temporary or permanently. if temporary, parents are required to take parenting classes, anger management classes, etc, and the case is followed up. of course the system is imperfect, some cases fall through the cracks, etc. just wanted to mention that criminal proceedings arent the only way around, family services are independent of that. sometimes law enforcement finds no crime, but family services find abuse/mistreatment, in the same situation. particularly with children and elderly. for example, there was a scandal a coupla months ago with this youtuber who liked to "prank" their kids; it seemed innocent at first, but over the time "pranks" got more and more cruel and targeted only one of the children. while the person wasnt charged with any crime, child protective services stepped in and removed two of the children from the household.
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  9. The following 2 users say thank you to Manya for this useful post:

    Jane (07-11-2017),weepingwillow (07-11-2017)

  10. #6
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    Hear you Julie-Myriam...

    In my country there is some protection for kids cases (like the one Manya talks about) whose parents for whatever reason are not able to provide them with the necessities of life, food, protection, warmth, shelter and stuff. The effectiveness of what is in place is of course pretty much dependent on someone reporting their concerns to the appropriate authorities...something that does not always happen.

    Cases involving legal intervention to prosecute offenders and protect the rights of adults seems to be mainly limited to cases involving the elderly and cognitively challenged. Have not read of a case here where a competent adult has sought legal redress for emotional abuse (which suggests this is not an option). Has been the odd civil case where a person has sued to recover money from their estranged partner.

    Gotta say though that emotial abuse is increasingly being recognised as not ok at a social level...with national and local voluntary services being fairly well advertised and used. Still some way to go though with getting the message out that any form of abuse is not ok.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  11. The following user says thank you to Jane for this useful post:

    weepingwillow (07-11-2017)

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