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Thread: Can We Talk About Elections?

  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    Can We Talk About Elections?

    Hello!

    I am a rape survivor. I have been doing really well, but the recent US election has triggered a lot of stuff for me. I am a member of another online support group (pandy's), but they don't allow discussions around the election because they become too contentious. I really need a place to talk about the trauma this election has caused, though, and I'm wondering if this is a place to safely do that. Please let me know your thoughts. Thanks!

    Safe hugs to those who want them!

  2. #2
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    hey

    i hear what youre saying but no, we're "worse" than pandys in this respect - we only talk of what happened personally to us. not politics, not general abuse advocacy, not what perps are thinking in their heads, not what other abuse survivors should be doing/thinking/feeling, etc. only our personal experience with the trauma of abuse we suffered and the aftermath of it. cuz we're a diverse community, some of our members dont like trump - others support him, some are pro-choice - others are pro-life, some are pro- capital punishment - others are against it, some are feminists - others are mens rights activists (or dont care either way), some are christians - others are muslim, etc, etc, etc. the only thing we all have in common is the fact we've been abused, so thats what we talk about, leaving our political views out of it.

    hope im making sense, for you
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  4. #3
    Phoenician88 Guest

    Feminism

    I'm sorry but a person not supporting feminism is not just somebody with an opinion. A person who doesn't support feminism is being abusive, because feminism is about women's Human Rights. A person who does not support feminism is saying women shouldn't have Human Rights.

    That should not be acceptable in any civilized thread because it is not just a difference of political opinion. It is hate speech.

  5. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phoenician88 View Post
    I'm sorry but a person not supporting feminism is not just somebody with an opinion. A person who doesn't support feminism is being abusive, because feminism is about women's Human Rights. A person who does not support feminism is saying women shouldn't have Human Rights.

    That should not be acceptable in any civilized thread because it is not just a difference of political opinion. It is hate speech.
    and this is precisely why we focus on our recovery from the trauma of abuse, and leave general subjects out of it. i dont know if my dentist supports donald trump or not, i come to him to fix my teeth, not to discuss the recent US elections. same thing at fort
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  7. #5
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    My thoughts for what they are worth.

    I am a woman of strong views on some subjects...always have been. Was raised in a family well peppered with politically and socially aware and active members. Discussing 'the issue of the day' supporting your paricular position and why you held it was a thing we did as sat at the table and munched our way through our meat and three vege.

    Along the way I also learned that there was a time and place for, I suppose you could call it activism. No different really from learning there was a time and place for lots of other stuff running round naked, discussing intimate surgery, serving pork, scratching your bottom - picked these rules up rather than having them spelt out. Example my mother was an active member of a local political party...attended meetings with like minded people and was a vocal supporter of many (but not all] of their policies. She also was a member of many other groups and had a diverse range of friends. Watching how she successfully interacted within each of these groups taught me a lot. Stuff that continues to hold me in good stead. I learned to use discernment and respect when choosing my behaviour...that some contexts and situations were not the right ones to discuss certain subjects...that doing so was off-topic and disrespectful. Was not about being mealy-mouthed, changing your values, rather was about being sensitive to others right to set their own boundaries and agenda eg this group's purpose is to provide a platform for people to meet and support each other as we work on our post trauma healing. Read out guidelines TOS and if they sit ok with you come join us. Read them and find them too constraining, antifeminist go look for an alternative group that sits better with you...or as my mother would have done set up your own one.

    Just sharing what works for me.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

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  9. #6
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    Manya, please stop me if this isn't appropriate.

    I hear what you're saying about the election having far reaching implications for you in regards to your rape. Without stepping into a pile of poo here, I'm wondering if you could express your feelings in a way that removed the link to the election or politics. What I mean is, say you fear the current administration may overturn or rescind protections you feel are vital to your safety as a woman & as a survivor. Could you talk here about YOUR fear of possibly being less safe in the world, but not spell out the entire root cause of the fear?

    I am concerned over groups of people who see the current President as being some sort of representative for their twisted beliefs & desires. There are real hate crimes being committed in the name of T, but the people committing them are the issue. I've found most people who want to hurt others will justify it however their mind sees fit-no matter if it's legitimate or not.

    I hope this made some sense & can be of help. I relate to feeling like the details of my story aren't within the acceptable comfort zone of whoever/wherever. It feels stifling. Fort is a great place. The admins & mods are level headed & kind. I wish you healing wherever your journey takes you. Maybe I'll see you around. if I may.
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  10. #7
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    Obviously this convo has hit a chord with me...keep thinking about it.

    My statement that groups/people have a right to set their own boundaries does not mean that I do find some of the beliefs they are based on confronting and bigotted eg that a woman's place is in the home, their brains are not as mighty as mens, that that they dont deserve an equal voice or pay!) and would probably say so in too many words if they shared these notions with me.

    This does not mean that I do not defend other's right to hold the beliefs they do just as I defend my own. Same proviso for all of us - that we do not convert our beliefs into deeds that break the laws of the society we are part of.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  11. #8
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    thanks for vote of confidence

    we do have a folder for ptsd/anxiety, but i'll use your example: "say you fear the current administration may overturn or rescind protections you feel are vital to your safety as a woman & as a survivor." say someone posted this in anxiety folder. fort is a mental health site, not everyone is stable enough to stick to the subject of coping with anxiety (grounding, meditation, breathing through the nose, etc) and ignore the rest. if the op can share their feelings about current administration - so can everyone else, you know. so someone will inevitably respond that women have more protection than men nowadays, and that they hope the current administration will balance it out. the next person will respond that its hate speech. the next person will respond that feminists see hate speech in everything. within minutes the thread will snowball into insults, and both participants will get modded or tempbanned for a coupla weeks. the net result: two abuse survivors lost access to a support group, and everyone else got hurt feelings and reservations about discussing their abuse-related issues in such a hostile environment.

    we got np with diversity of opinions, disagreements, etc - but this is just inflammatory offtopic, the community gets hurt for no reason whatsoever. there are plenty of sites to talk about politics. fort is a trauma support group, we cant jeopardize its main purpose to accommodate offtopic arguments.

    ps:
    Quote Originally Posted by Catalyst4Change View Post
    Manya, please stop me if this isn't appropriate.
    why me?
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  13. #9
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    I'm just now seeing this. Thanks for the explanation. I understand. I was pretty tired when I wrote my other response. Not sure where I got your name from as moderator...

    Sorry about that! I didn't do a good job articulating what I was suggesting to the OP. I meant to post here & get what is needed, could he/she separate out the election talk so that their feelings could still be expressed without posting about the elections or politics? If I need support & there are guidelines to follow, I can usually modify how I'm asking for the support to fit within the parameters of the group. If I'm not able to do that, then I know I can look elsewhere.
    I Am
    A Voracious Reader, Buoyant Dreamer,
    A Peace Keeper, Truth Seeker,
    A Cupcake Baker, Memory Maker,
    A Music Lover, Protective Mother

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  15. #10
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    You're answer was ok, made lots of sense.

    Manya is a mod (well, admin) I think (correct me if I'm wrong ) she just was saying you don't have to just ask her, can ask anyone on the mod/admin team.

    for you
    "You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it." -- Robin Williams
    "Don't be afraid of the shadows, that only means there's a light nearby." -- Evanescence
    "So when you’re feeling crazy, and things fall apart, listen to your head, remember who you are." -- Three Days Grace
    "But I am not really worried, I am not overly concerned. You try to tell yourself the things you tell yourself to make yourself forget." -- Counting Crows
    "Our brains are sick, but that's OK!"
    "Peace will win and fear will lose."

    "And I will say that we should take a moment and hold it, and keep it frozen and know that life has a hopeful undertone."
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