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Thread: Planning My Exit AGAin

  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    Planning My Exit AGAin

    So I came to the forum so needy. I am in a relationship which is emotionally abusive. I left him and divorced him but ended up moving back in after about a year. I was having a hard time getting on my feet and I felt bad for my young child with me struggling financially and emotionally. Friends didn't believe me and said I was having a nervous breakdown and of course that is what he told them. I was afraid of losing my child. It was a stressful time and I never seemed to get it together without support after losing all friends and spouse.

    But now I have been back long enough that I remember why I left. He uses my mental illness as my weakness to abuse me emotionally. I see the cycle so clearly now. I see his tactics he uses. This is not a figment of my imagination. It has been confirmed by professionals and I was ignorant to come back. But I am strong enough to see us headed down the same road and I won't travel it again. I made an appointment with a therapist who is really good in this area of expertise and I am going to save money and get the hell out of here again. I can do this !

    One of the biggest obstacles is my credit is ruined because he controlled the money in our marriage and bills in my name were of no importance to him. Finding a place that is safe and clean enough to rent is difficult.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    21,821
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    Kindness & hugs.
    Relate - in my case it took a few goes to be able to leave and not go back. Not slip back into my without much foundation, "this time he it's gonna work" thinking...wishful thinking. Working with a therapist helped me to accept that it was ok to miss someone...especially when I had little in place to fill in the gaps having him out of my life had left. That it was natural to feel lonely, betrayed, mean and many other hard to live with emotions. I had to learn to feel but not surrender to them - remember why I left - that this decision was not made lightly - that he had an established pattern of promising me change. Saying the 'right' things eg that he was sorry, understood that how he had treated me was wrong and such. But sadly once he had me hooked me back in he reverted to his 'old' ways. Ways that did not and never would work for me.

    Hope returning to your T helps you to do what feels best for you.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  3. The following user says thank you to Jane for this useful post:

    weepingwillow (12-13-2016)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    PA USA
    Posts
    12,925
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    I live on hugs.
    Sorry to hear that he took advantage of your illness like this. It's frustrating when it happens because people aren't inclined to listen to the "crazy person", that because of illness everything we say is invalidated. The stigma isn't as bad as it used to be, but it's still pretty bad.

    I hope you are able to find a place to rent soon. idk, can your local dv shelter or homeless shelter suggest decent apartments that may take you? I know not every area has that available, and you probably thought of it already, but wanted to throw it out there.
    It's time to do it now and do it loud/Killjoys, make some noise!
    Give a cheer for all the broken/Listen here, because it's who we are
    I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love
    My Chemical Romance
    I don't wanna be heard, I want to be listened to.
    Shaking hands with the dark parts of my thoughts, no
    twenty øne piløts |-/
    You were the song stuck in my head/Every song that I've ever loved
    My childhood spat back out the monster that you see
    If I can live through this/I can do anything
    Fall Out Boy

  5. The following user says thank you to weepingwillow for this useful post:

    Jane (12-13-2016)

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