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Thread: The verbal, emotional, financial and physical Abuse and guilt of my mother

  1. #1
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    The verbal, emotional, financial and physical Abuse and guilt of my mother

    I Just turned 17 a few weeks ago and have since left my mother's home. For the past few years my mom was more verbally abusive than I ever could remember, it started with just arguments but progressed to pushing me and damaging/kicking objects. I am an only child and my parents were divorced since i was two, and my dad lived almost 3 hours away. I knew that my mom's behavior was not normal and may possibly become a threat to my safety. At the time of our first big argument that I could remember I was 13 and was attending a family member's funeral, when she saw that i was wearing a black dress shirt, she said I looked so awful that she wouldn't want to be seen with me and that I was such an embarrassment to her and she would slit her wrists if I wore it, she then pushed me up against a door so hard that a hole in the wall was created, she eventually apologized. since that day, there were many arguments that got physical,with no apologies afterwards, at that point i was hoping that the neighbors would hear and call the cops but they never did... Once I got my license and started driving her old car (her parents bought her a brand new car) I hoped that I'd have an escape if things went bad, but that never was the case, she took my keys for every wrong thing I did, sometimes for nothing at all. She tried to limit my communication with my family as much as possible because she didn't like them, even her own parents, work was the only time that I was able to escape her once she lost her job, I worked 30hours a week on top of school just to avoid her. One day, I had the day off and was studying for the sat but she didnt believe me and so i got upset and yelled that i was studying and she started hitting me with the remote so I tried to call my grandparents to come get me but my mom took my phone and smashed it on the ground so I couldnt call for help. That day she had me run errands for her which involved mailing the bills, doing the grocery shopping, and buying her a coffee everyday, and if they made it wrong, I'd have to get her another one. All of this made me spend way more money than I could afford, but her response always implied that i owed her for putting up with me. eventually i realized that there were other options and i could live with my dad and his girlfriend and their two kids. But that decision was a long time in the making, i had a couple emotional breakdowns in the middle of the supermarket using a strangers phone to call my grandparents to let them know the awful things my mom had said to me before taking my phone away and making me go food shopping. When she found out that i wanted to leave her, she was resentful and threatened to kill me and threatened to have her cop boyfriend come after me, she said she never wanted to see me again. I moved to my dads house in july (suddnely, i had a days notice and it was by order of a judge) and have only talked to her over the phone once, which ended in her saying that nothing good ever came from me coming into her house. My mother refuses to realize any fault in this, for my birthday she sent me a card with rosary beeds in it and she keeps texting me to go to church

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Kent, England
    Posts
    280
    Affection
    Please no prayers, be gentle all is new and scary
    to FR
    I'm so sorry that you had to experience this and I really hope you
    can hold on to the knowledge that YOU were not and are not responsible
    for your Mother's behaviour.
    I hope you can find what you need here and my thoughts are with you
    MadelaineJennae Front Person for "Ny's People"

  3. The following user says thank you to MadelaineJennae for this useful post:

    weepingwillow (09-20-2016)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    21,574
    Affection
    Kindness & hugs.
    Hi read your story and thought of you as a minor alone in your home...having to put up with the stress of this sort of out of control behaviour. I am glad that your managed to do what was needed to remove yourself from this unhealthy environment. Can only reiterate what the previous respondent has said. You are not to blame...you like anyone deserves to be treated respectfully and to live in a safe and supportive home. Idk what is causing your mother to lash out at you...mayhap her own unhappiness and frustration. I do know that the behaviour you describe says far more about her than you.

    For you.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  5. The following user says thank you to Jane for this useful post:

    weepingwillow (09-22-2016)

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