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Thread: It's so damn hard.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2016

    It's so damn hard.

    You think you're tough? You think your smart?
    You think you're better than everyone else, don't you?
    But I can see it, I see right though all of it.
    So you can stop the act now.
    Because there's a frightened, confused and angry little child inside of you.
    But you portray yourself to be this big, strong, tough, all wise man; when you're not.
    You've numbed yourself to the child screaming inside of you.
    You didn't want to listen.
    Now you're so fed up with you're own life, so you abuse others.
    I see it way too often, and I will no longer turn the other cheek.
    It's your own fault that you didn't listen to yourself.
    Its your own fault that your so miserable.
    I won't let you make me numb, and I won't let you keep treating people this way.
    So please, just please leave the premises.
    I don't want to play your games anymore.
    I don't want to.
    Stop hurting me, you have no right to make me feel this way.
    It's taken time, and so much strength for me be able to say all of this.
    You like gas lighting me? You feel good threatening me?
    You like humiliating me?
    You love the power.
    And I love that I can see through all of it.
    Where were you when my manically depressed mother was abusing me?
    You weren't there, so stop lying to me- better yet, stop lying to yourself.
    Where was my support when I needed it though my bullying ages?
    Oh you were there? Whatever makes you sleep at night.
    Instead of receiving love, support or empathy from you, I only got more abuse.
    More, and more trauma to deal with.
    Its just so damn hard.
    Because sometimes I wish I could succumb to your abuse, and be numb.
    I'd think it'd be easier to just give you the power that you crave.
    But I won't, because I'm better than that.
    I respect myself, and know my values.
    Honestly, you make me want to scream.
    And I will scream, because unlike you; I'll be nurturing the traumatized child inside of me.
    So that I can finally be the happy person that I want to be.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Kindness & hugs.
    Hope it helped to get that off your chest.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

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