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Thread: Looking for Support

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
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    1

    Looking for Support

    I've had a hard time finding support for what I've gone through. Everybody completely invalidates what I'm going through and that makes it feel like everything I've gone through is completely my fault. At times I believe that it's my fault. Everything I'm going through is my fault and I'm the only one to blame. The only thing I ask is for a resource for people going through what I'm going through without being verbally attacked for sharing my own experience, is that so much to ask for? If this isn't a website for people looking for help I'll leave and never come back. I have no problem with that. If this is a website for people looking for help then I'm excited to get to know you all.

  2. The following user says thank you to Lovelie for this useful post:

    Jane (08-30-2016)

  3. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
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    NYC
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovelie View Post
    The only thing I ask is for a resource for people going through what I'm going through without being verbally attacked for sharing my own experience, is that so much to ask for? If this isn't a website for people looking for help I'll leave and never come back. I have no problem with that. If this is a website for people looking for help then I'm excited to get to know you all.
    hard to answer without knowing what is it that youre going through

    this is a community of people who have been abused in some way: raped, beaten up by their spouse, neglected as children by their parents, etc. these things cause psych trauma, and its aftermath can last for years: depression, anxiety, nightmares, etc. it can be helpful to talk of it with others who are going through the same thing, so thats what we do here. there are no counselors on staff, everyone is an abuse survivor, using the site for their own recovery, so the only type of help you can get here is peer support: other survivors hearing what youre saying and sharing their experiences, thoughts, and feelings on the topics you raise. reading and responding is voluntary, so if someone doesnt feel like doing it, they wont. however, attacking or blaming people is against our guidelines, nobody will do it here (and there are anonymous "alert mods" buttons on the bottom of every post).

    hope this helps
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  4. The following 2 users say thank you to Manya for this useful post:

    Jane (08-30-2016),MadelaineJennae (08-30-2016)

  5. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
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    Hi Lovelie. Abig welcome to you. Hear you about needing some place that is helpful and supportive...can only speak from my experience. I came here with a deal of apprehension, but thought I would give it a try. Gotta say it works well for me...didn't know it at the time but the peer support (we are all equal survivors) approach made me feel less alone - that others had lived through some of the stuf that I had...could identify and respond from experience. Most of all I like that no one in this communuty tells me what to think or invalidates me...real important as like you I have experienced these sort of reactions in the real world.

    Bottom line for me is that this community - lets me be myself - accepts me where I am at without judgement. Makes me feel I belong.

    Back to more practical considerations...have been surprised how helpful it is to share others' experiences...their assessment of what worked for them and didn't. Helps me to clarify my own situation - see my options.

    Hope what I have shared is helpful. Gives you a bit of a sense of the culture round here.

    Again welcome
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Kent, England
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    Please no prayers, be gentle all is new and scary

    Smile

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovelie View Post
    I've had a hard time finding support for what I've gone through. Everybody completely invalidates what I'm going through and that makes it feel like everything I've gone through is completely my fault. At times I believe that it's my fault. Everything I'm going through is my fault and I'm the only one to blame. The only thing I ask is for a resource for people going through what I'm going through without being verbally attacked for sharing my own experience, is that so much to ask for? If this isn't a website for people looking for help I'll leave and never come back. I have no problem with that. If this is a website for people looking for help then I'm excited to get to know you all.
    Lovelie, I've no idea what you've been through but I too have had a lifetime of not being validated and blamed for crimes committed against me. My default is self blame even though by now I should no better, whoops even now it's so easy.
    I know that in just the few days I've been here I've found a place I fit. I can give to others and get support too. For me the 2 way street is vital, I panic if I feel I'm only taking.
    I hope that you can find your own niche here, though it may take time. I've not read of anyone being blamed here for any action only support and life belts from other survivors.
    Good Luck
    MadelaineJennae Front Person for "Ny's People"

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