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Thread: I'M Not sure why i blame myself

  1. #1
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    I'M Not sure why i blame myself

    i feel like it was my fault still to this day i blame me for it all im not sure if it was abuse or not but one thing i do know i blame everyone for not picking up on what ever it was i feel like my childhood was taken from me not just at home it was when i was out as well i feel lost within my self i im not sure if i can get out

  2. The following 2 users say thank you to Withoutmusic for this useful post:

    Jane (08-23-2016),TalithaTwilight (08-29-2016)

  3. #2
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    Hi, I know that for me I was told repeatedly that it was my fault. Every time my foster mom hit me or whipped me she would tell me " If you would just listen" ... " If you weren't such a baby".... " If you would just learn to behave" ..etc. I didn't realize until much later that it didn't matter what I did as a child I was a child and they were adults. It was there fault, they choose to abuse me.

    I hope that you will come to realize that you weren't at fault for any abuse perpetrated against you as a child.

  4. The following 3 users say thank you to Taylor73 for this useful post:

    Jane (08-23-2016),TalithaTwilight (08-29-2016),weepingwillow (08-27-2016)

  5. #3
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    Hi withoutmusic

    Think it is pretty common for kids to think they are responsible for bad family stuff...remember trying to be 'good' thought if I was 'good' enough the turmoil would stop. Hard to get rid of those old embedded scripts...they are lodged somewhere very deep. As an adult rationally I can see that I was as good as most kids - probably better than some...that my feelings of worthlessness are not based on any sound reality...rather on the distorted, negative messages that I was subjected to when young.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  6. #4
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    Hi withoutmusic,

    I think it's a normal reaction to blame oneself for things that happened that were outside of your control or influence, I think the mind tries to find explanations but sometimes it just comes to the wrong conclusion. I hope you know it wasn't your fault. I was blamed for every single thing that went wrong and for what happened to me as well so I know how heavy a burden that is. :( I hope you find your music, so to speak.

  7. #5
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    Please no prayers, be gentle all is new and scary
    Quote Originally Posted by Withoutmusic View Post
    i feel like it was my fault still to this day i blame me for it all im not sure if it was abuse or not but one thing i do know i blame everyone for not picking up on what ever it was i feel like my childhood was taken from me not just at home it was when i was out as well i feel lost within my self i im not sure if i can get out
    I'm so sorry you feel this way because it's how I feel about me. I "slipped through the safety net as a baby, and I've been falling through safety nets ever since (still am at 59).
    I know 100% though that you were not to blame in your childhood because no child ever is. Growing up we all make mistakes but only the tiniest number of people are all bad Hitler, Moors Murders, Yorkshire Ripper, Wests, My biological parents.
    Not you, I or anyone else on this site. I know this for sure because bad people would be sickened by the support offered to people here, so they wouldn't/couldn't stay.
    Hope you find peace here
    MadelaineJennae Front Person for "Ny's People"

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