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Thread: Need to learn more about the past of a man with convictions for revenge porn and viol

  1. #1
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    Need to learn more about the past of a man with convictions for revenge porn and viol

    My sister has started dating a man who appears on the web in news reports concerning his conviction for posting revenge porn, also detailing a previous conviction for domestic violence. He is not permitted to be in contact with his daughter, and has barring orders against visiting his ex or her mother either at their home or their place of work. This is the only evidence we have about his past that does not come from his own account.

    He has explained it all away to my sister's satisfaction (his ex was nasty and manipulative, she concocted the whole story, he's never met her mother etc, etc). I'm treading carefully because if he is a wrong'un, as might appear, his first job will be to separate her from those that love her. My sister is a brilliant woman, but she is emotionally vulnerable, and is entirely capable of fooling herself about what she's getting into. She knows my reservations, but feels that she knows the real 'him' (it has been a couple of months, and as far as she tells me he has been nothing but sweetness and light).

    I am considering submitting a request under 'Claire's Law' so that if there is genuine cause for concern at least she will get to talk to professionals in this arena. I am also concerned for my elderly parents, though, who live nearby. She would be legally obliged to say nothing of the police contact under Clare's Law, but I would dearly love to know the extent of the risk this man poses to the family as a whole.

    So, is there a way I can access the original court records relating to his previous offences? I would be very grateful for any practical advice on making discrete enquiries into someone's criminal past.

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Hear you...how hard it is to stand by and see someone you love make decisions that you fear will end in grief. Difficult to accept that as an adult (like all of us) she has a right to make her own decisions (legal ones anyway)...to make good decisions and bad ones and take responsibility for any consequences.

    Not being from your country I am not familiar with Claire's Law - however imo we all have the right to exercise any powers legislation provides us with...including the right (and I believe duty) to report concerns we have for the safety any minor children who live or may come to stay in your sister's home when this man is present.

    :idk when I was living with a violent man...I found it hard to accept that I was in an unsafe situation...ignored and felt frustrated that others did not understand I loved him...didn't want to hear them criticize him. Looking back I can see they had every reason to do this...at the time I didn't...made me want to distance myself from them. Friends that help me most where those who did not criticize or judge me...let me know that they were there for me.

    For you
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  3. The following user says thank you to Jane for this useful post:

    weepingwillow (08-21-2016)

  4. #3
    Join Date
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    Hi
    I think you might be in the UK..have found this link...hope its helpful:

    http://content.met.police.uk/Article.../1400022792812
    " A person's a person no matter how small" Horton the Elephant.
    "Why,sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast" Lewis Carroll,Alice In Wonderland.

  5. #4
    Join Date
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    Idk that presenting info about my partner would help me "see" he was not a good partner for me when I was in an abusive relationship.

    Sometimes presenting info opposing a person can lead them to feel more isolated and alone, clinging more to abuser. (Even though you have not said this one has abused her, just sayin)

    I rather know there were people I can turn to that I trust. Hard to trust people who tell me what to think, or try to get me to replace their opinions for my own. I won't say though that it was useless. Cause the accumulated affect of so many telling me something enough times did make me wonder. Yet the pull of my "trauma bond"/Stockholm syndrome like bond was always stronger.

    Idk, just think it is tricky to try to get someone to see what you may see as they are "in" it.

  6. The following 2 users say thank you to Sunfl0wer for this useful post:

    Jane (08-23-2016),weepingwillow (08-27-2016)

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