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Thread: ***'s Husband

  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    ***'s Husband

    Good morning, all,

    This is ***'s husband. I'm looking for information or thoughts on how it is that I might best support him throughout his journey. In short, he legitimately feels worthless, sub-human, and incapable. He often collapses in on himself when left to his own devices, but if I do things for him, that only reinforces, in his mind, the knowledge that he's useless, worthless, etc. I would love to hear from a survivor's perspective what has helped you to know that you are loved and supported. Note that *** struggles with selective-mutism and very limited life-experience, but is sometimes in situations where things are time-sensitive.

    Similarly, we're in a situation where some of his family members go out of their way to hurt him (lies, manipulation; you get the idea,) and I'd love to know what helped you feel supported by your partner without feeling pushed or pulled in any particular direction. The last thing I want to do is to try to support him and, in reality, accidentally control/manipulate/push/pull/pressure him further.

    With gratitude,
    Kage

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    NYC
    Posts
    14,135
    hey kage,

    i understand your position, but our survivors forums are private and anonymous. we cannot discuss our member out in public, if only because many of them are being stalked by someone they have an order of protection against, and a stalker can easily claim to be their husband interested in supporting them, their worried mother, their 10yo daughter, or other such. im not doubting your integrity, just illustrating one of the reasons our members need their privacy and anonymity at fort. I edited out what seems to be a username and am closing this thread. we have a library page about supporting a survivor, you might find it interesting.

    for everyone
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    *Honorary Member of The Troll Patrol doing laundry in public:

  3. The following 7 users say thank you to Manya for this useful post:

    Jane (07-27-2016),Jobriel (07-27-2016),Kristy (07-29-2016),Shelter (07-27-2016),Sunfl0wer (07-27-2016),weepingwillow (07-27-2016),ZJ (07-27-2016)

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