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Thread: Every time I fall asleep, I replay that moment....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    2

    Every time I fall asleep, I replay that moment....

    It's hard to tell people describing that you went through. That moment when your life forever changes and how you look at the world changes. All I can think of is that moment and thinking that this will become a regular thing when I date someone. He strangled me when I tried to leave, silencing me, and all I could hear is that sound of trying to breath. Then waking up on the floor, gasping for air; he standing over me saying, "that was your fault." Those eyes I once thought that was full of love and hope, was a stranger, filled with anger. The court process seems like it's taking forever, but he claims that's he's innocent and I provoked him to do the things he did. His comments repeat in my head that I'm worthless. I'm trying to move forward, but it's hard when court is still continuing. I don't know if I have the strength to go to trial. I need support, but no one really knows what happens until it happens to you. I'm scared that one day I will run into him and everything will be flooding back. I am thankful that I got out, many don't. And I'm thankful I had the strength to have my voice heard and get help before it could've gotten worse. Everywhere I see reminders of the happy times we had, but that makes the healing process so much worse.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    PA USA
    Posts
    12,925
    Affection
    I live on hugs.
    Sorry to hear that you're having flashbacks and having a hard time moving on. Seems pretty common really, it is life changing, and it takes a while to adjust. Blaming you for his bad behavior is pretty common too. If you made him do it then he's not responsible, which isn't true because only he has control of his behavior.

    I am glad to hear that you've managed to get out of the situation.
    It's time to do it now and do it loud/Killjoys, make some noise!
    Give a cheer for all the broken/Listen here, because it's who we are
    I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love
    My Chemical Romance
    I don't wanna be heard, I want to be listened to.
    Shaking hands with the dark parts of my thoughts, no
    twenty øne piløts |-/
    You were the song stuck in my head/Every song that I've ever loved
    My childhood spat back out the monster that you see
    If I can live through this/I can do anything
    Fall Out Boy

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