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Thread: Friend's abuser won child custody

  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    Friend's abuser won child custody

    Over the last few months, my boyfriend and I found out that his best friend has been abusing his wife. He was abusive while they were dating, while she was pregnant, and after their daughter was born. He has abused previous girlfriends and went to anger management, but once he ran out of money, he stopped going.

    The abuser stalked his wife at work after she decided to leave him. He showed up completely sober and yanked her out of her car. She had a friend with her who he punched. He also smashed the windshield of her friend's car. He was forced to check into a psych ward, but was released right after the mandatory 72 hours was up. They did nothing. His wife was able to get an order of protection during this time. He still won't admit that he did anything wrong. He has given his wife black eyes, pulled her around by her hair, and pushed her through a wall. I don't doubt that he also displayed this behavior around their daughter (she's always very crabby around him, as if she really doesn't like him.)

    They went to court yesterday and the wife wasn't able to find a lawyer she could afford in time - she had to represent herself. Her husband ended up getting 50% custody. She had tried to contact a local center for domestic abuse, but no one is calling her back.

    Are there any other resources the wife can try? Is there anything we can do to prove that child's father really shouldn't have custody? He has yet to admit he has a problem. He isn't being required to attend anger management or get any help at all that would fix his abusive tendencies. My boyfriend and I have baby sat for him after his wife left, before the order of protection. The baby was wearing dirty clothes, she hadn't been bathed in days, and she was incredibly attention starved. She wouldn't let me out of her sight and insisted on sitting in my lap whenever she could. We're her godparents and we really want her to be safe. She'll be 2 in November. I don't want her father to snap and end up abusing her too - she's not safe with him and I'm terrified.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    i hear what youre saying. we cant give legal advice here, but if youre concerned with the childs welfare, i personally would contact child protective services. the 2yo doesnt belong to either parent, shes a person on her own, has rights, so if shes currently being hurt, cps would wanna know about it...
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  3. The following user says thank you to Manya for this useful post:

    weepingwillow (07-09-2016)

  4. #3
    Unregistered Guest
    I'm not really asking for legal advice, just for any resources people might know about that my friend can contact.

    I can't even call child services right now because the child was never abused. I'm just afraid that because her father wasn't required to get any behavioral treatment before gaining custody of her, he may lash out at her.

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