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Thread: Supporting a Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse

  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    Supporting a Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse

    Anyone been here before? I'm one year into this journey of supporting my spouse who was abused as a child. Her past trauma came crashing into our world about a year ago and she's still profoundly confused over what is happening to her. I keep searching for something that will help but I keep coming up empty. I'm here for her but am wondering if we will ever make progress. Her counselor has been little help... not understanding trauma much at all.

  2. #2
    Unregistered Guest

    For the man who supports his spouse

    First I would like to say that I have been reading posts and never felt comfortable enough to join in until I read your post. I, just as your wife, am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I never realized how much it affected my life and still have trouble understanding how events from so far back could still affect me today. I always felt as if I had control over my life and felt that I was better off forgetting about everything that happened. I actually still have myself convinced that I'm better off not talking about my experiences but my Dr says otherwise so I started reading the posts. When I read about your wife and how her experience has affected your relationship it made me think back on my past relationships. This could possibly be why I have always had bad relationships, it seemed as if I was the one who would self-sabatage and ruin the relationship for myself as well as my boyfriend. I have obviously let this experience affect every area of my life. I have always had a complex that no one could sway. No matter how many compliments I received I knew that everyone was lying to me just to make me feel better, or so I thought. I have always been very insecure and that has caused problems in past relationships, I have always felt that I was never good enough for anyone and that I was lucky to have anyone because I was such a miserable person. I felt like all my friends were only my friends to my face but would talk about me behind my back. I felt like my boyfriends were only with me to use me & none of them ever actually cared about me. I let it affect my intimacy with them, as well as my trust. I never would allow myself to trust them & to this day I still continue to distrust someone unless they have repeatedly proved that they were and are trustworthy. I don't want to be like that anymore. If talking about my experience will help then I will try that in due time. I did want to reply to your post though because it was the first one that has really stuck out to me. I don't know if your wife has ever felt the ways that I have explained but if she has then I understand. Its very difficult to talk about my experience but I did want to share some of the results of my abuse. I never tied any of my actions and feelings to those experiences until my Dr mentioned it. I am almost 40 and this abuse stoped for me when I was 14. I have pushed everything back for all those years until now. I am having a very difficult time dealing with these experiences, even trying to remember them completely. Its as if I can only remember bits and pieces because I chose to block it out for so long.
    I am interested in knowing how you wife has been affected just to see if anything that I have been going through for the past 26 years is anywhere similar to any on else. I know that every person deals with particular traumas differently but I'm still looking for some similarities so that maybe I can help someone and they can help me.
    Last but not least, I highly respect you for supporting her. Its not easy to support someone who has gone through something like this, I know that I have been very difficult to support.
    Thanks for letting me share.

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