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Thread: I'm new here need help

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    1

    I'm new here need help

    Hi everyone or even anyone. I'm new here but I need help I'm a bad person and bad things have happened to me, my own fault but how do I change the person I am to become a better person that will not have bad things happen please help if u can. I am unsure on what to do or why I am so bad I have been told by people that I ask for the behaviour I receive, but when I ask them why they don't answer. Maybe someone in here can help me to understand what I need to change how to stop asking for trouble. I'm so tired I just want to stop this behaviour I can't go on like this

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Location
    EUR
    Posts
    423
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    Hugs are fine!
    Hi Nicky,
    A lot of time people who have bad things happened to them, think it is their fault. But no matter what you do or did, it never justifies people hurting you. You haven't given specifics, so I can't comment in a more personal way, but I wanted to let you know that feeling 'bad' and somehow responsible for what happened is very common for people who have been victimised. Do you have someone you can discuss these feelings and questions with, a therapist? Talking to a therapist cam be scary at first, but it can give you a healthy perspective on your problems and help you to sort things out.
    People telling you that any type of trauma or abuse is your own fault, that you somehow invited that behaviour, really have no idea what they are talking about and to say those things to someone who has had bad things happen is very invalidating, unsupportive and often harmful.
    I hope you will be able to find answers for yourself, and get some help with doing that.
    Faylin

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