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Thread: I'm New Here and a Bit Unsure....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2016

    I'm New Here and a Bit Unsure....

    I'm new here. I'm a bit unsure about what to say or whether anyone will listen. My marriage just ended about eight months ago after 23 years. The first few were good, but then he started changing. When our daughter was three, he gave me an STD. Never admitted to anything but sitting on a contaminated toilet seat at Walmart. Of course the nurses at the anonymous medical office I went to looked at me like I was crazy when I told them. But we had a young daughter, and both of us were working for a religious organization. Then he got fired from his job, and I ended up working two jobs for over two years. He got fired for watching porn at work, and a child in the center saw him through the blinds and reported him to his mother. The minister who supervised him agreed to accept his resignation without revealing the cause. It was always my fault for not being good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, keeping the house clean enough. I couldn't tell anyone. To everyone around us, our families, we had a great life. Our daughter began to exhibit the same behaviors as he was, being rude, ugly, and disrespectful to me. When I tried to discipline her, he told her (and me) that I was crazy. I know now that what he was doing is called gas lighting or personal projection. He (they) would goad me and fuss at me and be ugly to me until they got a reaction, and then they would tell me and anyone else who would listen that I was crazy. I became very sick with pernicious anemia and thyroid nodules, and my hair began to fall out. About a year ago, my husband moved to another state to take a job (he'd lost one job a year for 23 years). Despite the plans he said he had for our family, he never intended that I should move with them. He had an affair and asked for a divorce. Now, he's telling our daughter that his only purpose for going to that state was to make a life for him and her and to get her away from me. She'll go too. I feel like less than nothing. I'm well-educated, but I can't believe any man will ever love me or that I'll ever feel worthy of being loved. Thank you for listening.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time. I don't have any advice, but I am here to listen if you want.

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