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Thread: Catching up with me

  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    Catching up with me


    I have never been to a forum or chat before. I apologize if this is not the most correct use - I tried to read as many of the rules as possible in the time I had.

    I am a young woman who works in the mining industry as an expatriate in very remote locations. I feel like I need to give some context before I tell you my issue so that people can understand why typical and often sensible advice doesn't apply/work where I live.
    I work for a growing mining company and recently I have been asked to go for an employment medical. I have worked for this company for just under a decade and this is a new requirement. This medical would take place in the local community clinic. This is a very underdeveloped country with a very different attitude to western societies and a small expatriate community. I am terrified of having to go for the medical assessment because of my past and the marks it has left on my mind and body.

    I am scared of both the assessment itself and the questions/rumors the assessment might lead to. I have seen multiple examples over the years where these small local rural clinics do not take privacy or confidentiality as seriously. I am one of those people who is really young for the position I am, thus considered a bit of an over achiever - this means not everyone is my friend. I am concerned who might find out about the marks on my body. The mining industry is male dominated. I am the highest positioned female on the site and the company is not very typically corporate or sympathetic. Approaching someone within the company about my situation would be heavily detrimental to my career. And then there is the examination itself. I have quite strong control issues and I have had to be quite strong with myself to ensure I fit into the realm of 'normal' but a medical examination from a stranger is outside of my zone where I manage not to freak out.

    I am doing ok with my life - especially given where I work. I don't have access to therapists, support groups, or any of those things that sometimes I think might help me more. And I am not willing to give in all I have achieved and built to move somewhere that does. That would feel like I were letting my past impact my happiness of today. But i feel like the past has somehow caught me in a trap or net of the necessities of modern requirements. I have been ordered by management to go to my medical now. Can anyone advise me on how to go and not freak out. And perhaps a way to explain certain interesting marks on my body that a mediocre doctor might buy so they don't put it on my company files.

  2. #2
    Tasha1701D's Avatar
    Tasha1701D is online now Fort Security Chief & Stargazer
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    Jul 2013
    Penguins & hugs work, no prayers or religious refs
    Can't really advise or anything, but can share my personal experiences. Like you're saying for you, I generally find doc appointments very difficult for me, PTSD and all that. I usually take an inconspicuous grounding object if I don't think the doc/nurses/whoever will be understanding about things or if I just plain don't want questions. I also run what might/will be asked of me through my head, think of how I'll respond, etc, at least a few times before the appointment. I also sometimes will write down answers to questions that I might get asked so that when I'm in the appointment, I'm not caught off guard and I already have a plan for things. I try to think of the most out there scenarios too, so that I'm prepared for pretty much anything.

    As far as scars/marks on my body, I don't bring it up at all, especially if I'm not comfy talking about it, and if the doc/nurse asks, I just say something general, no details, cuz it hasn't really been pressing for my docs to know those things. For the docs that I trust and stuff, they do know more about my history and the abuse I went through, etc. so I might go into more detail if it's helpful for my treatment, etc. Usually, I'm not in a gown or anything for my exams, so I just wear whatever I'm comfy in, and most docs don't even notice things, or if they do, they don't ask. For example, I had to go to an urgent care a couple of weeks ago for x-rays after I fell and things, and during the x-rays, I know some of my scars/marks were visible to the nurse and doctor, but they didn't ask, and I didn't bring it up either, cuz it wasn't necessary for either of us to go into. I was there for one thing--the x-rays and a splint--and my other stuff just wasn't relevant, so I didn't bring it up.

    I guess that helps me--focusing on the scope of the visit and nothing more. That's another thing with writing stuff out and preparing beforehand--I can decide what's relevant and what isn't in the privacy of my home where I'm comfy, so I'm less likely to be unnerved and unprepared in the unfamiliar environment of the exam room. if any of that might be helpful for you, it's just some of the things that I do for doc visits and exams and such. Seems to really help me to be prepared and think of scenarios and concentrate on the limited purpose of the visit. That way I'm not overwhelmed and as nervous during the actual experience.

    May you have peace, live long, and prosper.

    "On the starship Enterprise, no one is alone." ~Capt. Jean-Luc Picard in The Bonding, ST:TNG Season 3
    "Seize the time, Meribor-live now! Make now always the most precious time. Now will never come again." ~Capt. Jean-Luc Picard as Kamin in The Inner Light, ST:TNG Season 5

  3. The following 4 users say thank you to Tasha1701D for this useful post:

    BugGirl793 (01-11-2016),Jane (01-08-2016),Manya (01-08-2016),weepingwillow (01-08-2016)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Kindness & hugs.
    I also have non-accidental scars on my body...pretty conspicuous ones. Like tasha I do not go into any detail about how they were caused. If directly asked say something like "sorry can't really recall what happened...was too long ago.'' Also use distracting techniques...say something like 'I expect it is a busy time for you doing all these work medicals" or some such.

    Idk if it is an option to ask if you can get your regular doctor to do your medical...maybe telling your manager that you had a bad experience as a child that has left you unable to relax with unknown medical practitioners.

    I am sorry you are needing to negotiate your way through this difficult situation.
    Rest in my arms precious child; cradled and warm. You are safe. The war is over.

  5. The following 2 users say thank you to Jane for this useful post:

    Tasha1701D (01-08-2016),weepingwillow (01-08-2016)

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