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Thread: Abusive mother in law - husband blames me and my daughter

  1. #1
    hopeless Guest

    Abusive mother in law - husband blames me and my daughter

    How do I get my husband to understand what abuse is? When a person uses her power to manipulate you into giving her what she wants, it's abuse. When a person makes threats in order to scare you into compliance, that's abuse. When a person realizes that manipulation and threats aren't working and tries to hit you, that's abuse. But since it's his momma, he doesn't see it that way. We've lived with her for several years and it just gets worse. I can't cook when I want; I have to cook on a weekend if I get to at all. I can't eat dinner when I want; if she's ready for the kitchen to be cleaned before I'm ready to eat, tough luck. If I don't shower at the crack of dawn I don't get a shower because other people's use of hot water is more important. I can't do laundry whenever I like because my sister in law -- who has a home of her own but it's too trashed to live in and she won't clean it up, doesn't clean where we live either -- has to do her wash. Our car broke down and can't be fixed so if I need to go somewhere I either do without or I have to grovel. My husband is johnny on the spot when she needs something even if it pisses him off to have to do it, but I can't even get him to clean his own streaks out of the toilet. He doesn't have a job; got hurt on his last one and says he's too l aid up to work, but he's not too laid up to do all the heavy lifting and hauling and bending for his mother. Again, I can't even get him to fold a basket of laundry and put it away. She talks to and about my daughter like she's trash. Yes, my girl is hard to live with and has caused a lot of trouble, but she's only 21 and she's making a real effort to do better. My son is so mentally ill that he can't even hold a conversation, but she thinks he's just lazy. But her son -- my husband -- and her daughter sit on their asses most of the time and that's okay. My daughter sometimes gets enough and stands up for her right to be asked please and thank you instead of dictated to like a slave, and gets threatened with eviction (she's epileptic and has two young children but that's no reason not to toss her out into the street), but my sister in law's daughter steals, lies, and talks to people like they are shit on her shoes and people beg her to please come back home. I cut my own mother out of my life for behavior like this, but i can't get away from her because my husband won't work and help us move out. I can't afford it on what I make. I'm on the verge of losing hope. He won't recognize that she is an abuser. He also won't recognize that as an abuse survivor from my own parents to my ex husband to several of my bosses, I know abuse when I see it. He has zero respect or consideration for my intelligence and he's so far up her vagina I'm surprised he isn't picking afterbirth out of his teeth. I'm working as many hours as I can, plus doing internet surveys and also proofreading on the side, but we have a housing shortage and rent is through the roof. Not to mention my only rental reference is her. My only contacts are his people; I have no friends of my own. We were supposed to take over payments on that house years ago but it never happened and now she says she never had that agreement with him. He's made us prisoners and I have no way to get my life back. What do I do?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
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    NYC
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    14,135
    he's so far up her vagina I'm surprised he isn't picking afterbirth out of his teeth.
    thanks for sharing. please find another site.
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