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Thread: Am i in the wrong i feel so stuck right now and dont know what to do.

  1. #1
    Unregistered Guest

    Am i in the wrong i feel so stuck right now and dont know what to do.

    hi everyone,

    Im a 29 year old female with 2 children, im recently in the last month split with my youngests dad. we were together for 3 years and hes been emotionally mentally and physcially abusing me with out me really realising either that or it is just all my fault.
    while we were together he isoloated me from my family told me that i didnt need them as they never done anything to help me.. i listened and so didnt really ever see my mum or sister, the only time i did speak to them was to ask to borrow money because he told me to ask them.he tells numerous amounts of lies but tells me im the wrong one and im deluded and need to see a shrink.. ive caught him out a few times chatting to other women and even saw it with my own eyes he would then delete it all and tell me i was seeing things making me question myself he had me up by the throat while i was pregnant with our daughter and recently punched me in front of our children leaving his fist mark in my arm.i have had the police out but everytime they go to him he will give me some sob story and i believe him he tells me hes really sorry and he loves me so then i stop pressing charges.
    hes used our daughter agasint me when hes looked after her telling me if i dont pick her up at the time he wants he will keep her and i will have to go to court to get her back.
    he phones my work place and tells them i wont be in work.. he rung my driving instructor and messaged my friends to check i was with them like i said i was. i have to take pictures to prove where i am.
    he tells me to send him pictures of myself and that if i love him id do it and if i dont he will just go watch porn or ask someone else. so i do it some things he asks for i dont like to do but i still do it for him. he then tells me when hes got them that hes disspointed with the pictures so he may aswell go watch porn anyway or he accuses me of sleeping with someone else tells me its ok just be honest.. i havent by the way... he also threatend to kill me if he saw me with another man and calls me a grass when i do ring the police or begs me not to..
    he calls me names and then tells me he loves me then calls me names again.
    y do i always give into him why cant i just ignore him he can call me up to 70 times and he gets very nasty if i ignore him.
    have i done something wrong
    why cant i walk away
    maybe hes insercure and dont mean it all.
    just some advice please
    xxx

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    Here but half the time in my own world
    Posts
    1,264
    Affection
    Im ok with terms of endearment and online hugs are
    Im so sorry you have been through so much. And that your kids have seen some of it. No theres nothing wrong with you because you have a hard time letting him go. Its really hard to walk away from someone even if they are treating you badly. Im sorry he is still bothering you. Most of the time the abuser never changes and usually isn't really sorry. Just wants to control you by making you feel bad and cause you to return. That's how it works a lot of the times. I know its hard because he begs you and says sorry. But it wont change. As for what you should do about it its up to you. If you can avoiding contact is probably for the best. But its up to you if you decide to stay away from him for good or not to. I hope things will get better for you no matter what you decide to do.
    catramoon

    imagination is the one thing im really good at.
    dreaming is the key.dream about it. then write it down. then i have a story

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    6
    Affection
    Yes Please

    You are not crazy!

    I am new here, and don't have a lot to say. But please know that you are not crazy. That is what abuser's try to make us think. I have just recently started to file in the court system with my abuser for custody of our son, and it is scary. Now that I have done it, I wish I did it sooner.Standing up is scary sometimes, but just know that no matter where you are in your journey, when you are ready, you can do it!

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